Milk & Cookies
milhayser | December 13, 2013You may be too young to know the truth about Santa Claus, but dear old Saint Nick is not the affable Anglo-Saxon philanthropist he appears to be. In fact, evidence suggests that he is an unholy creature of the night, an ancient vampire who would suck your blood if you didn't placate him with milk and cookies.
Saint Nicholas was born in Turkey in the third century AD, more than 1700 years ago. Although rumored to have perished at the age of 73, he must have been trans-substantiated by some forgotten fiend. Turned into a being that would burn in the light of day, old Saint Nick was gradually…