Pharyngula

Grounded in unreality

Oh, man: this is classic crank pseudoscience:

The heretofore unknown science of “earthing”, patented by Clint Ober, is that your body needs to be earthed so that you can have the earth’s antioxidizing flow of free electrons to go through your body and extinguish free radicals.

Earthing Axiom:

The earth’s infinite supply of free electrons will neutralize free radicals in your body and will thus help to stave off disease and aging. YOUR BODY WAS DESIGNED TO BE IN CONTACT WITH THE EARTH FOR MANY HOURS PER DAY.

Being connected via our barefeet to the earth appears destined to provide us with many far-reaching health benefits, which when coupled with modern medical prowess and optimum nutrition will offer mankind the best opportunity for health and longevity possible.

It’s an impressive web page. There’s just about everything you might want to see to persuade you that you’ve entered kookdom.

  • Sweeping claims of incredible health benefits from one simple mechanism.
  • All you need to “earth” yourself is a grounded pad—which they’ll sell you for the low, low price of $349.95.
  • Grain-of-truth biology (free radicals can cause cellular damage) coupled to extravagant and silly claims (the infinite flow of electrons from the earth will stop free radicals from hurting you).
  • Lots of repetitive, long-winded gobbledygook to justify freaky ideas.
  • Fond reminiscences of the good ol’ days, when people were always grounded and never, ever got sick…you know, like in the 19th century.
  • Random font size changes, and ALL CAPS SENTENCES.
  • Bizarre color schemes—brown and orange text, and dark purple text on a light purple background, all in the same paragraph.

It’s insane. It’s unbelievable. I sure couldn’t believe it. But then I saw the one thing that absolutely convince me that there had to be something to it. The one piece of awesomely professional evidence…

i-8fdaf1ae1e8709e079c7955442a9f784-mr_shoes.gif

I don’t want to be sour ol’ Mr Shoes. I want to be happy Mr Barefoot, and I will name my doggy Mr Paws.

Come on, people. How can you possibly resist?