#1 on Google!

The World’s Fair has a new meme: find the terms that return your blog as the first hit. Here is the overview:

I’d like to suggest a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably, but we’ll take the other country specific ones if need be), you’ll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.

This is easy.

I like the first one. Nobody can spell “Pharyngula” and most have a hard time pronouncing it, so I just tell people to google the two letters “PZ”, and there I am.

The second is obvious.

The third is a little surprising: it returns very few links. I thought it would be a much more common term.

The fourth and fifth…I just looked at the common search terms that bring people here.

As Janet suggests, your search results may vary.


  1. #1 Blake Stacey
    October 24, 2007

    Well, I’m still on top for computers internet blog.

  2. #2 PZ Myers
    October 24, 2007

    You are truly the lord of the computers internet blogs, Blake.

  3. #3 Blake Stacey
    October 24, 2007

    Moo hoo ha ha.

  4. #4 Ferrous Patella
    October 24, 2007

    “Chez Watt”

  5. #5 Tatarize
    October 24, 2007

    “nobody has resorted to cannibalism”

  6. #6 Andrew
    October 24, 2007

    You should have tried to google Pharyngula but spelled incorrectly.

    I tried a few that brought you back as the main hit:

  7. #7 Bob L
    October 24, 2007

    When you are number #1 hit on Google “tentacle sex” search, then Phargnula has arrived.

    Actually, when porn sites try steeling your’ site name, that’s when you really have arrived.

  8. #8 dcwp
    October 24, 2007

    So do the words in the phrases have to be mutually exclusive?

    So far I’ve got:

    * It’s um a cliticization
    * bowling PB baby
    * abstemious cliticization

    I guess it would help if I had updated the blog in the past year or so…

  9. #9 Steven Alleyn
    October 24, 2007

    “Steven Alleyn” (my pseudonym) seems to do a pretty good job.
    “Montrealer’s view” works too
    “Moopthas” works very well – go figure
    “pauline marois se represent anglophone” is probably my favourite
    “Rushing to Get things Done” is the title of one of my blog posts…

  10. #10 Colin M
    October 24, 2007

    One of the searches that leads to my site being #1 on Google is “LOLctopus”, which is completely due to the Friday cephalopod of a couple months ago.

    Other searches for which I’m the first hit include: “snowflake chronology” and “robot python generator”.

  11. #11 Craig
    October 24, 2007

    Well, it’s my home page and not my blog, but it never ceases to amaze me that I’m the #1 google hit for the word “it’s”.

  12. #12 John McKay
    October 24, 2007

    I made number one for:

    “Nazi Yeti in flying saucers”
    “Nazi mammoth”
    “frozen mammoth penis”
    “nude photos of Ann Coulter”

    I truly have a classy blog.

  13. #13 rjb
    October 24, 2007

    Hey PZ, you also get ALL of the billing (either directly or indirectly) on the first page of results for “random biological ejaculations”. Although I’m sure you’d be pretty far down the list if you only searched on the last term of that phrase.

  14. #14 Doc Bill
    October 24, 2007

    My claim to fame is “rent a snake”.

    Go figure.

  15. #15 No One of Consequence
    October 24, 2007

    I posted mine –

    * mosquito asparagus
    * EGI news vampire
    * Gil Le Bell
    * Whack Job Anti-Science nutcase

  16. #16 Donalbain
    October 24, 2007

    However, none of those are STATEMENTS. They are just words or phrases. I want complete sentences Pee Zed!

  17. #17 robbrown
    October 24, 2007

    Hey thanks to you linking my article last week PZ, I am now tops for:
    evolution fundamentalist religion


  18. #18 zeekster
    October 24, 2007

    I have no clue why my personal blog about nothing was the #2 google result for tuna tarragon for the longest time.

  19. #19 BobC
    October 24, 2007

    pz and the I’m Feeling Lucky button works, but my pz myers bookmark on my iGoogle homepage is even faster.

  20. #20 King Aardvark
    October 24, 2007

    I posted my list too.

    1. King Aardvark – #2 is a company called King Aardvark Web Design, and their logo is kind of similar to mine. But it’s not me.

    2. high school religion classes – from a popular early post of mine included in CotG.

    3. John Tesh kick in the nuts – though, honestly, any name I’ve ever mentioned + kick in the nuts leads to my blog as the #1 hit. This is from a couple of posts about my contempt for Christian pop music.

    4. behe dawkins pissed – a ficticious scrap between the two authors.

    5. apostles look like morons half the time – a Christian troll dropped by and we had a brief argument about this – not whether they do look like morons (they do) but about the implications of them looking like morons.

  21. #21 Geoff Arnold
    October 24, 2007

    I’m still #1 for my name, “Geoff Arnold”, even though there are a couple of other Geoffs chasing me. More important, I’m #1 for the phrase “liberal atheist dreamer”!

  22. #22 K. Signal Eingang
    October 24, 2007

    I used to be the #1 hit for the word “euphemism”, but now I’ve been bumped to #3 by Wikipedia and some dictionary site.

    Still #1 for “euphemism generator”.

    Also #1 for “Brian Eno to the Rescue!” but only if it’s in quotes.

  23. #23 Pete
    October 24, 2007

    “boring things”

    …damn, that really sucks, doesn’t it?

  24. #24 Martha
    October 24, 2007

    * Seattle Fingersmith door prize
    * Martha’s Undead Removal

    I’m somewhat motivated now to write an article for the sole purpose of capturing really odd phrases.

  25. #26 Dennis
    October 24, 2007

    I’m still first for:

    -mental midgets like Dinesh D’Souza
    -closeted gimp-suit wearing evangelicals
    -Professor Dawkins hugs like a grizzly
    -It’s a Shame There’s No Such Thing As Hell

    But seem to have slipped to second place for “victim of an evil ideology” :(

  26. #27 cbutterb
    October 24, 2007

    Here’s a few more for PZ:

    Caledonian ejaculations
    Dumbski zebrafish
    Homosexual squid
    Godless liberal octopus
    Friday cephalopod

  27. #28 VWXYNot?
    October 24, 2007

    I’m quite proud of this one: reasons not to believe in lies about evolution

    Less so for this one: solutions for a hairy back

    Someone just found me with hobbit porno video, but thankfully I was not #1.

  28. #29 slim
    October 24, 2007

    Well, I’m first for:

    commie-pinko blackbelt
    Fuck you, Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen
    Cheney Nosferatu Helluva Halloween
    better fish perforated horse condoms
    holy fuckinoly

  29. #30 Daisy Bond
    October 24, 2007

    Here’s mine. “Healthy human flesh alternative” and “our descent into madness,” among others.

  30. #31 Stupid Reality
    October 24, 2007

    I got a few obvious ones to start with:

    Stupid Reality (No great surprise there)
    Stupid Kirk Cameron Pain (Hehe)
    My Brain Exploding
    Atheist Kung Fu

    But then I realized that because I use so much sarcasm in my arguments, a lot of people were getting my blog through search terms that were the opposite of what I was saying. With this in mind I also got number one for:

    Stupid Reality Believes in Biblical Literalism
    Stupid Reality Contributes to Global Warming
    Stupid Reality has Broken the Internet

    But my personal favorite would have to be:

    Stupid Reality is Pope of the Catholic Church


  31. #32 Chris R.
    October 24, 2007

    You have no idea how happy it makes me to be the first one to mention this:


  32. #33 Pat McDowell
    October 25, 2007

    Did you mean to spell it “evilutionist”? maybe it would return more hits as “evolutionist”?

  33. #34
    October 25, 2007

    I’m now in China!But I can’t login,It comes out the;What’s the pity of Chinese.
    Then I find some infomation about the Chinese comments linke:

  34. #35 Kristjan Wager
    October 25, 2007

    Should I be worried that ‘abyss stupidity’ brings my blog up as the first hit? (this post to be more precise)

  35. #36 C. L. Hanson
    October 25, 2007

    Interestingly, my review comes up #1 for philip pullman atheist sex. And I’ve been getting this query (or variants of it) a lot more frequently lately. Maybe because of the movie?

  36. #37 Susan
    October 25, 2007

    A year or so ago, mine came up first for a search of
    – pictures underpants

    (no quotes)

    I’d written about the Underpants of Science Museum at UT Austin and posted some pictures.

    My spot was soon to be supplanted though, by pictures of Saddam in his undies.

  37. #38 Cuttlefish
    October 25, 2007

    *”Their octopus gods” (must be in quotes, and must have “their”. *sigh*)

    *hippocampally organized memories (cool, no quotes–357 hits)

    *Einstein Poseur Wrong (15,100 hits)

    *”Just a little bit faster than light” (without quotes, 1,720,000 hits, and I am nowhere near the top. With quotes, I am number one!!!….of two.)

    And the my crowning achievement….

    *Just like it says in Genesis (No quotes needed! 2,020,000 hits, and I am first!)

  38. #39 Kent Kauffman
    October 25, 2007

    Hmm…I’m first for “defending the sociopathic lifestyle.”

  39. #40 Cuttlefish
    October 25, 2007

    Oddly enough, “your safeword is amen”, with or without quotes, returns at least 4 sites before me…each quoting me.

    Oh, well.

  40. #41 Moonbeam McQueen
    October 28, 2007

    This was fun! Here are some of mine:

    Ann Coulter vomit

    Mister Rogers seduction

    my brother is a liar

    elfin Siouxsie Sioux

    pee poop and penises

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