All That I Want

A few weeks back, I was talking to my parents on the phone, and my mother asked “What do you want for Christmas?”

“Tenure,” I said. Because, well, that’s what’s been on my mind.

This is going to be the Best Christmas Ever…

Comments

  1. #1 Chad Orzel
    December 19, 2006

    (OK, technically, I’m not officially an Associate Professor until the Trustees approve it in February, but the Dean said that worrying about that is sort of like worrying that an asteroid will destroy the Earth before then…)

  2. #2 Stephen
    December 19, 2006

    Then read this comment in February:

    Congrats!

  3. #3 Rob Knop
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! That’s most excellent news. You can now sleep at night (modulo asteroids).

    All I want for Christmas is my NSF grant… but that would be more of a, I dunno, Spring Equinox present, or perhaps a Memorial Day present. Until then it’s just stress.

    -Rob

  4. #4 Pam
    December 19, 2006

    Woo-hoo!

    Congratulations!

  5. #5 John Novak
    December 19, 2006

    Sort of a nice Christmas present– congratulations.

    I think I may bring this up to my boss and ask him what I need to do to get tenure here. (Because, you know, I don’t get enough mockery in the workplace….)

  6. #6 veejane
    December 19, 2006

    Oh, awesome! Now (February’s version of now) is the time to smoke whatever you’ve got! Because they can’t get rid of you! You’ve got TENURE!!

    Please get wasted on the drug of your choice (sugar is acceptable), come the actual occasion, and then spend 45 minutes posting and attempting badly to spell the word “tenure”.

  7. #7 jrolsma
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! Good job! Many happy returns!

  8. #8 Mike Kozlowski
    December 19, 2006

    Sweet! Now we can get the loony, controversial posts that you’ve been saving up.

  9. #9 Rob Konp
    December 19, 2006

    Please get wasted on the drug of your choice (sugar is acceptable)

    Wait… we’re not supposed to get wasted on sugar until we have tenure?

    Oops.

    Anyway, I suspect few people are surprised that Chad got tenure. What this does also mean is that he can read all those tenure-track assistant professor applications without needing to feel threatened… :)

    -Rob

  10. #10 Hawk
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats!

  11. #11 Debra Doyle
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations on having achieved the Quest of the Holy Grail!

  12. #12 Uncle Al
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations, best wishes, and godspeed. Today a place to stand, tomorrow a faster vacuum pump, and by next Thursday your own one-cup coffee brewer with Kopi Luwak and junior faculty in the grinder. “8^>)

  13. #13 Scott Eric Kaufman
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! However, now that you’re a member of “The Man,” the real question is:

    Do you have any connections in the English department?

  14. #14 John Scalzi
    December 19, 2006

    w00t! Congratulations on your next 40 or so years.

  15. #15 Jeff F
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats Chad, and well deserved!

  16. #16 Will
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  17. #17 Patrick Nielsen Hayden
    December 19, 2006

    Most excellent woo and also hoo!

  18. #18 cisko
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! Not surprising, but great news. Union did good.

  19. #19 fidelio
    December 19, 2006

    As I told your wife: happyhappy joyjoy!

    Congratulations.

  20. #20 Yoon Ha Lee
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  21. #21 Rajesh
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  22. #22 PZ Myers
    December 19, 2006

    Waiting until February is nothing. In my tenure decision, I was told the news in early November, and then informed that it wouldn’t really be official until July. That’s many more chances of a major meteor strike, you know, and by the time the letter from the Big Guys came, I’d pretty much forgotten to care.

    So, yeah, celebrate on your time, and bugger whatever schedule the bureaucrats are on.

  23. #23 Jennifer Ouellette
    December 19, 2006

    That’s terrific! I’m sure you more than deserve it! Congrats!

  24. #24 Michael I
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  25. #25 Trent
    December 19, 2006

    Dude, that rocks! Hearty congratulations!

  26. #26 Dave Bacon
    December 19, 2006

    Awesome! Congrats!

  27. #27 Devin L. Ganger
    December 19, 2006

    Yay, Chad! That is most excellent news.

  28. #28 Scott Raun
    December 19, 2006

    Dancing Rodents! (AKA Conga Rats)

  29. #29 Texas_Tiger
    December 19, 2006

    Many happy congratulations!!!!

  30. #30 Tom Renbarger
    December 19, 2006

    Nicely done, Chad, congrats!

  31. #31 Ron Avitzur
    December 19, 2006

    Happy Holidays indeed!

  32. #32 Tom
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats!!!

  33. #33 Scott Spiegelberg
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! Thanks for proving that bloggers can get tenure. And now I start my pre-tenure leave, to prepare for the wringer next fall.

  34. #34 Perry
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats. Now if you can avoid attractive female undergrads, you are SET! Job well done mate!

  35. #35 Bill
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  36. #36 Dan Goodman
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  37. #37 Tony Zbaraschuk
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! Well-deserved!

  38. #38 Moshe
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!!! I guess you are no longer on the tenure track.

    (Like PZ above, I will also have to wait till July for my official confirmation…)

  39. #39 Aaron Bergman
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

  40. #40 Richard Suitor
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

    (professional lurker)

  41. #41 KevinQ
    December 19, 2006

    Followed the link from Scalzi to say Congratulations.

    K

  42. #42 Jeff Huo
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

    You were amongst the first of us on rasfwr-j to earn your Doctorate (and coin the now-immmortal phrase, “That’s *Dr* ____, to you, punk!”; among the first to earn a faculty position, and now among the first to earn tenure. Congrats again on yet another trailblazing moment. :-)

  43. #43 greythistle
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats! Pretty sweet timing.

  44. #44 Mary Kay
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations. I’m so happy for you and Kate both. We’re going to be at Boskone, let us take you out to dinner to celebrate. It may even be official by then….

    MKK

  45. #45 Christopher Davis
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations on your well-deserved tenure. I’ll echo Mary Kay in hoping that it’s official in time for Boskone celebrating.

  46. #46 Soni
    December 19, 2006

    Blogfather Scalzi said to come over here and whup a “Congrats” upside your head. I hear and obey.

    Congratulations! Time to put that alarm clock where it really goes – the circular file.

  47. #47 Doug Natelson
    December 19, 2006

    Mazel Tov! It is weird how diffuse the process is. With your doctorate, you defend, people clap, and that’s that. With tenure, you’re told that later the board will do something so that at the start of the next fiscal year…. Anyway, congratulations again!

  48. #48 Emmet
    December 19, 2006

    Most excellent well done !

  49. #49 Brad Holden
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats Chad! That is awesome.

  50. #50 paoconnell
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats Chad! Kate too! Now go for that Nobel Prize…

  51. #51 Melissa Devnich
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations! What a great Christmas present.

  52. #52 James
    December 19, 2006

    Congrats!

  53. #53 Bob Oldendorf
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations . . . PROFESSOR.

  54. #54 Maura
    December 19, 2006

    oh congratulations! well done!

  55. #55 Steinn Sigurdsson
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations!

    Wait, did someone say rasfwr-j?!
    r-j!?!

    Man, we better hope the trustees don’t hear about this…

    Enjoy the moment.

  56. #56 Mike Steeves
    December 19, 2006

    Wow.

    That’s awesome — sometimes, the good guys do win….

  57. #57 Lou
    December 19, 2006

    Congratulations Chad!

  58. #58 James Macdonald
    December 20, 2006

    Woooo!

    Go, you!

  59. #59 cheem
    December 20, 2006

    Congrats!

    Many happy returns!

  60. #60 Tania
    December 20, 2006

    Yahoo!! Next stop, sabbatical!!

  61. #61 Kristjan Wager
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

  62. #62 Therese Norén
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

    I tried to tell KJ about it this morning, and had to resort to saying tenure untranslated. There’s no such thing here, and no appropriate translation.

  63. #63 Teresa Nielsen Hayden
    December 20, 2006

    Hurrah! Congratulations! May you never have to do anything harder (except for stuff you enjoy).

  64. #64 Dennis
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

  65. #65 jim
    December 20, 2006

    Yes! And, like everyone else, congratulations.

  66. #66 John Dilick
    December 20, 2006

    Woo!

    Congratulations, Chad. Annette and I are thrilled for you.

  67. #67 Skwid
    December 20, 2006

    Wahoo! Congratulations, Chad. Never had any doubts you’d get it, but what a terrific Christmas surprise!

  68. #68 Jamie Bowden
    December 20, 2006

    Fuckin’ aye!

  69. #69 Adrienne
    December 20, 2006

    Congrats, congrats, and more congrats after that.

  70. #70 Captain Button
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

  71. #71 Dr Chuck Pearson
    December 20, 2006

    Let me be among the last to confer congratulations…:)

  72. #72 theophylact
    December 20, 2006

    Mazel tov!

  73. #73 Andrew Orzel
    December 20, 2006

    That’s great news, Chad. Congrats!

  74. #74 David Owen-Cruise
    December 20, 2006

    He shoots! He scores! The crowd, it goes wild!

  75. #75 Zeynep Dilli
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

  76. #76 agm
    December 20, 2006

    Hmm, how long to one congratulations? Who knows, but here’s one more.

  77. #77 Jeff M
    December 20, 2006

    Cool! Congrats, Chad.

  78. #78 Dave Munger
    December 20, 2006

    Awesome! I expect to see some hard relaxation over the next few weeks in honor of your achievement.

  79. #79 Leigh Butler
    December 20, 2006

    Belated congrats to you, Chad.

    Now you can begin seriously cultivating your eccentricities with little fear of reprisal!

  80. #80 J-Dog
    December 20, 2006

    So, you now change the blog name to Certain Principals?

    Congratulations!

    So, next step = Curmudgeon?

  81. #81 coturnix
    December 20, 2006

    Great news! Congratulations!!!!!

  82. #82 Dan Blum
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!

  83. #83 Stephen G
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations! To pass along what a sweet old lady said at the conclusion of an acquaintance’s defense, “Congratulations, Doctor. No sonofabitch can ever do that to you again.”

  84. #84 Liz
    December 20, 2006

    On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
    Tenure on the Facultyyyyyyyy

    Congratulations!

  85. #85 Larry Moran
    December 20, 2006

    All the best! Celebrate now – they can’t take it away from you.

  86. #86 Josh
    December 20, 2006

    Sweet! Congratulations!

  87. #87 Julie Stahlhut
    December 20, 2006

    Many congrats, Chad!

    The day after one of my committee members got tenure, I answered the phone in his lab, thus becoming the one who took the phone call that informed him that a university vehicle had just accidentally crushed his car in the faculty parking lot. Now, this fellow could get more than a little stressed out, so I waited for him to finish giving some instructions to a new student at the bench, and then broke the news to him. Instead of blowing up, though, he just smiled and said that he knew the university was well-enough insured to handle the problem.

    That’s when I knew what a big milestone tenure was! :-)

  88. #88 Captain C
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations!!! WOOHOO!!! I’ll down a Kiltlifter for you when I’m in Arizona in a couple weeks.

  89. #89 BR
    December 20, 2006

    So you get tenure and promoted to Associate at the same time? (I got promoted the next year.)

  90. #90 gregor
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations.

    Brings back the memories of my horrid experience on the subject at an Ivy League university. At the beginning of the winter semester which was supposed to be my first sabbatical after six years there, I got the horrible news in the mail, even though I had two and a half years left in the contract and I did not even know that they were voting on my case.

  91. #91 Jim Toth
    December 20, 2006

    Hurray!

  92. #92 Emily
    December 20, 2006

    Hey, congrats!

  93. #93 CapitalistImperialistPig
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations. And may The Cabal be with you.

  94. #94 Del Cotter
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations, Chad!

    But just for safety’s sake, wait until February to start coming into work in your pyjamas and telling people you would like to be known from now on as Madame Pompadour.

  95. #95 Marilee
    December 20, 2006

    Congrats!

  96. #96 Chas
    December 20, 2006

    Woohoo!

    Tonight’s party has officially switched from a “Day That Ends in ‘Y’” party to a “Chad has tenure” party.

    Note: While the Party Purpose variable is quantized, our hypothesis is that discrete variations in P.P. will not lead to discernable variation in empirical results (i.e. degree of hangover on the OMFG scale).

  97. #97 Thumb
    December 20, 2006

    Heh! Was there any doubt?

    [ducks]

  98. #98 Sean Carroll
    December 20, 2006

    Congratulations! Party time now.

  99. #99 Aaron Bergman
    December 20, 2006

    Is it horrible that the title of this post keeps on bringing to mind a horrrible Ace of Base song?

  100. #100 lunkhead
    December 20, 2006

    Four paws up!

  101. #101 Abi
    December 20, 2006

    Wow! Congrats, Chad!

  102. #102 "Charles Dodgson"
    December 20, 2006

    So, now you’re in on the seekrit konsp1raC to reestablish the Soviet Union in America that David Horowitz keeps talking about. Excellent news! Please send reports!

  103. #103 Captain Button
    December 21, 2006

    “Is it horrible that the title of this post keeps on bringing to mind a horrrible Ace of Base song?”

    No. Being reminded of a Spice Girls song, OTOH…

  104. #104 Chad Orzel
    December 21, 2006

    Is it horrible that the title of this post keeps on bringing to mind a horrrible Ace of Base song?

    For you, probably. Since I somehow managed to miss the whole Ace of Base thing, I have no problem with it.

    I had in mind the recently acquired “All I Want” by the Weepies, part of the Christmas Tunes Experiment. While the actual title lack a “that,” there’s one in the chorus.

    Many thanks to everyone who has commented. It’s a kick to have so many people chiming in. And, hey, the first triple-digit comment thread on Uncertain Principles…

  105. #105 Redleg
    December 21, 2006

    Congrats to you. It is quite an accomplishment. I just found out the good news about my own tenure and promotion. It will be a very nice Christmas for me too.

  106. #106 Mike Bruce
    December 21, 2006

    Congratulations.

  107. #107 Babbler
    December 21, 2006

    That’s wonderful! Congratulations, and may more success come you way.

  108. #108 wolfgang
    December 22, 2006

    Congratulations!
    Now you can blog all that nasty stuff and finally start working on the alien-warp-drive you always wanted to build …

  109. #109 Dave Hemming
    December 23, 2006

    A Big Old British Congratulations and Merry Christmas! (I was tipped off by Kevin Drum of all people).

  110. #110 Hannah
    December 27, 2006

    Hello. Your friend John Scalzi said to congratulate you on your tenure. So congratulations on getting your tenure!!
    I’m not particularly sure what tenure is. I know it’s pretty prestigious, I learned that from ER.
    Anyway, that just proves I watch too much TV.
    Congrats again on tenure!

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