This seems like a fun one for May the Fourth: Jedis disappointed with new "energy-saving" lightsabers
Jedi knights have expressed anger at plans to phase out traditional lightsabers in favour of new, more environmentally-friendly models.
'These new lightsabers are rubbish,' complained Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. 'They take ages to light up and when they do you can barely see anything with them.'
'I refuse to switch to these new low energy sabers,' said a typically petulant Luke Skywalker. 'By the time they've reached full brightness you may have already had your hand chopped off by a man you didn't even realise was your own father.'
However, intergalactic environmentalist George Monbiot disagrees. 'The old lightsabers may look impressive but they are very energy inefficient. Jedis need to appreciate that The Force is a finite resource and that we need to conserve it - at least until we develop environmentally sustainable solar wind farms.'
It's very funny. Go on over and read the whole thing.