The Kirk Cameron video isn't the funniest thing I've seen on the web lately. This is. It's DaveScot's rendering of Martin Niemoller's famous poem "First they came...", written in response to the horrors of Hitler's Third Reich. He begins by citing a poll that says 48% think that people who have strong religious beliefs are discriminated against in this country. After 3 years of "war on Christmas" and "war on Christians" propaganda, wholly devoid of actual evidence of course, no one should be surprised at such numbers. But here's the kicker. His take on Niemoller's poem:
When they came for the creation scientists,
I remained silent;
I was not a creation scientist.When they locked up the abortion protesters,
I remained silent;
I was not an abortion protester.When they came for the intelligent design theorists,
I did not speak out;
I was not an intelligent design theorist.When they came for the strongly religious,
I did not speak out;
I was not strongly religious.When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
Yes, Dave, because we're just this close to throwing ID "theorists" (the only folks who insist on being called theorists without ever bothering to develop an actual theory) in concentration camps. It's true; I've seen the plans. We had hoped to keep all this a secret a bit longer, but you're just too smart for us and the cat is out of the bag now. I'll call Genie Scott and tell her to get the troops on the move now that you've spilled the beans and publicized our plot.
The NCSE, as I'm sure you've already surmised, has a fleet of black helicopters at their command, and of course, several battalions of the SSF (Satanic Special Forces) prepared to carry out our plans. For years, we've been building the concentration camps to hold all of you in preparation for the Final Solution. You'll be happy to know that we've built them on the Galapagos Islands, where you'll have to await your fate while listening to Darwin's finches sing their happy songs; oh Blessed Irony, thou art a sweet muse.
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These people live in an alternate reality. The odd thing is that 48% of the people polled apparently live in that or a similar reality. Did they poll only those who infrequently visit reality?
The problem with the Satanic Special Forces troops is fitting their night-vision goggles over their horns. It's a uniform designer's worst nightmare. And don't even get me started on what cloven hooves do to a pair of combat boots.
Ed,
I'm sitting here waiting for students to finish exams and that post make me laugh out loud and disrupt my students. Thats was the most patently absurd thing I have read in some time.
WOW!
How do humans get like this?
These people get off thinking that they are fighting overwhelming and constant evil for their lord. Basically they like to think of themselves as being repressed because if they aren't repressed they are obviously the ones doing the repression. SO when they snort and scream about the vast homo-atheist-liberal-commie-terrorist-illuminati scheme to chlorinate their precious bodily fluids, their fighting back is appropriate and nessisary.
They like to think that Christianity is the same religion that it was when they were thrown to the lions, the meek few surrounded on all sides by an evil empire that seeks to destroy them out of fear and hatred... But by putting themselves in the entitled majority place, they have become the Caesar and the lions.
I only wish I could have come up with something as good as Jon Stewart's reaction when O'Reilly accused him of trying to destroy Christmas:
You'd think that if we can afford black helicopters, we could also afford comfortable, utilitarian, yet stylish footwear to accomodate cloven hooves. After all, we have all the gay fashion designers on our side, right?
A little off-topic, but somewhat related: I hang out and occasionally post "undercover" or at least not as an open atheist on a traditionalist Catholic website. These are the people who reject Vatican II and think Jews, Masons, and Satanists run the world. They adore conspiracy theories, and I really wonder why. Anyway, they are convinced that there's widespread satanic ritual abuse and killing, despite the fact that the SRA hysteria was debunked back in the early to mid 90s.
Frito wrote:
"They like to think that Christianity is the same religion that it was when they were thrown to the lions, the meek few surrounded on all sides by an evil empire that seeks to destroy them out of fear and hatred... But by putting themselves in the entitled majority place, they have become the Caesar and the lions."
Anyone here read A. Alvarez's The Savage God: A Study of Suicide? He makes the claim in there that many of the Christians who died at the hands of the Romans actively sought out martyrdom, because it was a free and fast ticket to heaven. They sought it out to the point that they were teaching their kids to throw rocks at Roman soldiers so the kids could get martyred too. And the extreme spinoff of this were the Donatists, who threatened to murder other people unless the other people martyred them. Does anyone know if Alvarez's claims have been corroborated by others?
Yeah, this ought to put to rest those rumours that intelligent design has anything whatsoever to do with religion.
And wrapping it all up with a nod to the Nazis...nice touch. Keeping on top of Kirk Cameron in the clueless idiot department is surely hard work.
No Capes on the new suits:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edna: It will be bold! Dramatic!
Bob: Yeah!
Edna: Heroic!
Bob: Yeah. Something classic - like Dynaguy. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots...
Edna: [throws a wadded ball of paper at Bob's head] No capes!
Bob: Isn't that my decision?
Edna: Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids.
Bob: Listen, E...
Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when? his cape snagged on a missile fin!
Bob: Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb...
Edna: Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!
Bob: E, you can't generalize about these things...
Edna: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snag on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!
[shouts]
Edna: No capes!
As a Christian (a professor of biblical studies, in fact), I am fed up with Christians whining and trying to portray themselves as victims. Sure, there are some individuals and groups who are resolutely anti-Christian, just as there are Christian individuals (some of whom form groups) that are resolutely anti-abortion or anti-gay or anti-whatever. But this "War on Christians" business is just an attempt to cash in on a trendy victim status.
In my judgment, there is no "War on Christians" in the USA. But what Christians are experiencing--to the dismay of many--is a decline of privilege. There may even be, in some quarters, a certian degree of "backlash" against Christians, who have been in a position of privilege for so long in the USA. But I'm really tired of Christians acting as if this loss of privilege constitutes some sort of victimization.
DaveScot's idiocy obscures a concerning point about the CBS poll he quotes. It seems that the constant right-wing drum beat about how downtrodden and discriminated against they are, is having some effect. DaveScot doesn't seem to realize that this is good news for people like him since people are more likely to get up and defend themselves when they feel under threat.
One thing's for sure, that drum beat is only going to get louder the more desparate the right wingers become in their bid to hold on to the reins of power.
Chris Heard,
I appreciate your sensible candor. I don't think your correct that their are some groups who are anti-Christian in any meaningful way but agree with the rest of what you say.
I've met several preachers and scholars from your church and many have been very well read and reasonable. Of course I've met others who have been pretty loony. I think you represent the former.
I wonder where DaveScot shops for his big floppy shoes?
I like the commentor who blames the media (damn liberals!) For example, did you know a study has shown that Fox is not in fact a right-wing media outlet? Fox is balanced you see....and it only looks right-wing because all the other outlets are so far left. If not for that, then Chistians wouldn't be so downtrodden. Really, a study has shown it.
Isn't it amazing how these commentators on a blog discussing this secular scientific theory that has nothing to religion, keep coming back to religion. All by themselves.
For the record, I think the only people ever tossed into jail over the issue were John Scopes, who quickly was bailed out, and several Darwinians under Lysenko's dark rule, in the Stalin-era Soviet Union. Where is DaveScot's protest?
Niemoller's estate should sue. That isn't even parody.
Copernican house arrest is the way to go, obviously.
Chris Heard,
You are right on when you say that they are experiencing a decline in priviledge! What I think they fear is that without priviledge and governmental support holding up their traditions, that they will crumble and slip into antiquity. Or at the least, become 'one of many', which for folks that believe that their 'one' is the 'only', would make them frustrated.
I never saw the O'Reilly-Stewart jizzporium bit! Does anyone have a link to a video file??
...many of the Christians who died at the hands of the Romans actively sought out martyrdom, because it was a free and fast ticket to heaven.
Ah yes--they're promised 72 virgins when they get to heaven, but in their scenario the virgins remain virgins.
I prefer Doug Stanhope's paraphrase of Niemoller:
Inoculated Mind: http://mediamatters.org/items/200512080005
I'd like to think the return of black helicopter style paranoia to large sections of the conservative movement might also lead to the rediscovery of the evils of excessive executive power and secrecy. Unfortunately the ability of people to compartmentalise that sort of thing can't be overstated.
"For the record, I think the only people ever tossed into jail over the issue were John Scopes, who quickly was bailed out, and several Darwinians under Lysenko's dark rule, in the Stalin-era Soviet Union."
I don't think Scopes was ever incarcerated over the Butler Act violation. I'd appreciate a reference. This is a major point of divergence between the events of the Scopes case and the script of "Inherit the Wind".
Now, under Lysenko, there were people who got sent to the gulags, but also there were several biologists who stood up to Lysenko and ended up getting shot for their trouble. Vavilov went to prison and died there a few years later. It should be noted that Lysenko pursued getting a teleological form of biology imposed via political mandate, and that pretty much the only point of divergence between science in the USSR and in the West was the rejection of the modern synthesis under Lysenko. We can see how that contributed to the USSR lagging in agricultural production and leading to widespread famine. They ran an experiment for us, and we should learn from their mistake, not seek to replicate the experiment using ourselves as the test subjects.