The TV news shows are all abuzz with rumors over why no pictures have surfaced of Tom Cruise's baby with his handmaid fiance Katie Holmes. One rumor has it that Cruise won't sell the pictures unless he gets more than was offered for the pics of Brangelina's baby. That's plausible. Another rumor has it that there is no baby at all, that this was all a ruse and that Katie just had a pillow under her shirt for a few months. I think they're missing the most obvious explanation. Remember when Tom told a reporter he was going to eat the placenta? I think he just ate the wrong part.
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And correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't "Brangelina" donate all of that money to schools in Africa? Is Cruise offering to do that as well?
Gaaach! Horrible!
That man is a total freaking lunatic. I feel so sorry for that baby. Especially if the poor thing managed not to get eaten.
Oh yeah... And I have a prediction: Tom will be charged with child abuse after enlisting his kid into the Scientology labor camps.
Katie will claim it was an abusive relationship and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. She will appear on Oprah and cry about it. The kid will be a basket case junkie who turns out to be the one drug addict that Tom can't cure, but he will nevertheless try... probably by sending annoying, incoherent letters and spiritual emmanations from his jail cell...
Ed:
Keith Olberman says his producers force him to cover and comment on nonsense like Brangalina etc. What's your excuse?
flatlander-
I think it's funny.
I heard that even close friends like Will and Jada Smith are being turned away with excuses and not allowed to see the spawn of Tom Cruise's loins (if indeed that's what she really is).
It's all veeeeeeeery mysterious.
I can't remember what I was watching last night but at some point they brought up the idea that it's possible that Katie Holms was impregnated with the umm.... "payload" left frozen from L. Ron and there is some back room secret Scientology plan to blah blah hide the baby.
After hearing about L. Ron's frozen ...uh remains ... I couldn't sleep at all.
What an asshole show to bring that to my attention. I hope I can prove to be the same asshole.
I think it is clear that Katie and Tom have given birth to the resurrected Xenu.
Why do I need to see the Cruiseling in the first place??
Grumpy wrote:
We're just concerned that Daddy might have consumed it in an bloody orgy of maniacal cannibalism is all. Since, you
Weirdness is often a valuable quality, or at least an entertaining one (T.C. is an entertainer, I've been told). I still am puzzled why he wished his public to know of his plancental intentions, since it seems more of a rock star pronouncement than the standard Hollywood titillation.
I casually w-w-wondered over how he was intending to serve the plancenta, however: tar-tar? roasted? taiban-sashi? stewed? breaded and deep-fried? ala-Antoine? What side dishes? I would presume the wine would be red, is Scientohologists drink alcoholic beverages.
What would be the dessert, just?
Aren't you all harshing on Tom unfairly?
I saw MI:III and it wasn't that bad. Comparing Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise as action stars I'd have to go with TC. Plus his performance in Born on the 4th of July was pretty good. Keanu couldn't have carried it.
But does Keanu Reeves eat babies?
I don't know, but I doubt it. I think he's a Buddhist or something. Aren't they mostly vegetarians?
WRT to TC, I think it's valid to look at him in totality of his work. Yup, somewhat strange, but not dangerous enough to go beyond amusing eccentricity. Unlike say, Hitchens.
But Ted, this post has nothing at all to do with his work, either in part or in total. That is an entirely separate issue that I just don't much care about. He's being mocked for his bizarre and idiotic beliefs.