John Lofton: Scolding Nag

I had to laugh reading this essay by John Lofton where he scolds Susie Essman, a very funny stand up comic, for being unladylike. Essman was apparently featured on an episode of Nightline and Lofton was appalled that a woman would - gasp - swear. He strikes the prissy schoolmarm pose to perfection:

For-the-record: Not one thing Essman says is even remotely, by any definition, "insightful." And God bless "most people!" Because most of what Essman says should not be said out loud. And what she has is not an "ability" but a disability! I purposely avoid saying she is "sick" because what causes her to spew her filth is not an illness or a disease but her reprobate, unregenerate, desperately wicked heart.

Boy, I guess he told her, eh? And here's my favorite part:

Essman says: "Men are so completely different than women. We hate each other, we love each other. We want each other. We can't stand, you know, there's just so much constantly going on between us. And the bottom line is, it's in the DNA, it's primordial. You know, I'm sure there were caveman comedians talking about the same thing. Take my wife by the hair, please."

An evolutionist. It figures.

Yep. It figures. What a ridiculous little git.

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Hey, she stole that one from me! I used to bust 'em up wi' 'dat one in the neolithic Catskills!.

Ah, what can you do.

Now there's a concept, a Jewish stand-up Neanderthal:

"A homo habilis and an australopithecine walk into a bar. The habilis says, 'Now I don't want you getting tanked and stumbling all over the place,' and the australo says 'What are you worried about? Some people still don't think I know how to walk upright.'

Hey, hey! I'm here all weekend folks. Enjoy the buffet.

Um, where's the evolution? If these cavemen are making jokes, then they're homo sapiens.

By Ginger Yellow (not verified) on 19 Aug 2006 #permalink

The cavemen making the jokes were, according many creationists, the descendents of those on the ark after the flood that resorted to that kind of living after losing all that "pre-flood high technology."

Hovind even alluded to possible pre-flood airplanes in a talk I saw him give at Berkeley a few years back.

And who can forget the hilarious "Kosovo artifact."

But I doubt Essman is a creationist. I still have yet to meet one that has anything remotely like a sense of humor. Every hear Hovind, Ham, Dembski or Wells take a stab at humor? I'd rather scratch my fingernails across a chalkboard.

Lofton...Lofton...Lofton... Doesn't ring a bell. Is he the guy who should've scored from third in the Braves/Twins Series a long ways back? I knew the Braves were square, but...

A bigfoot, an honest lawyer, and a creationist with a paper in a prestigious science journal walk into a bar. Which one is out of place.?

Oh that one's easy: the Sasquatch. They are notoriously shy.

(Note: the creationist has taped his paper to the inside of the journal, and presented it to the bartender as hard evidence against evolution. And the lawyer works for the ACLU ba-dum-bum!)

Much of what he said I can agree, yet he is an attack dog and out for blood-not interviews-when he talks to someone he does not like, ie, Gilchrist.

He is perfect acolyte of Calvin the Geneva Dictator.