When newspaper columnist Art Buchwald died on Wednesday I had to laugh. Forgive me if this shocks you, but he always made me laugh, even when he died. In an interview on PBS's Newshour, Jeffrey Brown played a video of Buchwald reading the first sentence he would write if he were to write his obituary in The New York Times. Looking straight into the camera, with a twinkle in his eye, he says, "I'm Art Buchwald and I died today." I laughed.
Buchwald developed kidney failure in December of 2005 and elected not to have dialysis, instead entering a hospice to die on his own terms, and then, when surviving longer than expected, he moved in with his son, in whose house he finally did succumb this week. In the interim, by his own testimony (and the testimony of many who witnessed it), he had an enormously good time, some of the best and happiest of his life. When Brown wondered how he was able to talk about death in such an open way, Buchwald answered matter of factly that we all die, so why not talk about it. Asked if he was afraid of dying, Buchwald grinned and shrugged, "Apparently, not." I laughed again.
Many years ago I was asked to deliver the Commencement Address at my university's School of Public Health. This is a daunting assignment even though you know none of the students are listening to you. They are too preoccupied worrying whether their hat will fall off or they will trip or stumble when crossing the stage to receive their diploma. Still, you feel the responsibility. It turns out that the week before Buchwald had given the commencement address at Tufts University in Boston and he began by saying, "You won't remember anything I say today, but you'll remember that you laughed." So I began the same way. "You won't remember anything I say today, but you'll remember they laughed at Art Buchwald."
That's what I remember, too. Art Buchwald made me laugh. Even when he died.
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And you just left me smiling. Thanks.
I ,too, was a great fan of Art Buchwald. Just at the end he had made a list of things that made him laugh when people came to see him with statements like "You look great!. He said this with the greatest twinkle in his eyes.
We could use more twinkling eyes in this day and age, couldn't we?
O'Leary: We could, we could for sure. When Jeffrey Brown asked him if there was something he regrets he will miss, he said, "Yes. Global warming. I guess I'll have to let my children and grandchildren enjoy that." I laughed again.
Buchwald's observation that we all die reminds me of the opening of the eulogy for my grandfather, that dying was the most ordinary thing an extraordinary man could do.Extraordinary, indeed.
You can see the NY Times video obituary here.
Art B had this demented view that this (here and now) is not merely the way-station on the road to somewhere better (it could be, though that is hard to see clearly just now).
I've been doing the predeath dance. Nobody gets out alive and there is some comfort in knowing that for a bit the event horizon may be yet ignorable, deniable even even though metastatic PCa holds the winning hand.
I'm considering an amusing elbow to the ribs of our death culture (though we must not talk about it despite the obsession). I've always (age 7 when my Pop was killed in a mining accident probably marks the moment) thought the whole body disposal and memorializing approach was a little silly and equally "disrespectful" of it all save the vulnerability of the pocketbooks of the survivors. Properly and promptly disposing of hazardous wastes is a not an issue here.
I maintain a reference web site that illuminates how a prehistoric N American SW culture (Mogollon Mimbres: ~200 CE to ~1150 CE) took a "different" approach that yielded a dramatic and fully accomplished ceramic aesthetic as a probable unintended side benefit to the larger posterity.
The part of the predeath dance that rarely yields is the spiritual part - too much to know and no way to know it. Fun to work on though, and finally, is hard to avoid. Keeping the faith promoters at bay seems the most difficult aspect.
I've been considering disposing of my last remains (post cremation) by positioning them treasure hunt style in Mimbres country with the recovery of the olla the draw (ashes to be dumped on the spot).
Three sigma replies should go off-list but I am looking for reactions to help "sell" the fam on this silliness (cox AT rmi.net - Mimbres in the subject line)
tymp: I thought of you when writing this. Have you read Buchwald's last book (in the stores now), where I gather he discusses this (haven't had a chance to read it myself yet). If you have, give us your thoughts. Always welcome.
Aye. Too Soon to Say Goodbye. Working its way to the top of the list. It's amazing how much actually gets read when you make it a priority - now to tune the comprehension button...
As Sidney, the Ol' MASH head mechanic said, "Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
I have a medical question, or a phenomenological question best answered by people with medical credentials (and/or firsthand experience)...
How bad is dialysis? According to this story and others, Art B checked himself into a hospice because he didn't want to go on dialysis after having his leg amputated. As it turned out, he survived long enough to check out of the hospice and go home. According to the article I linked to above, he had a wonderful quality of life in his final year. I gather that he never went back on dialysis.
I know that dialysis is incredibly time consuming and sometimes uncomfortable, but I don't understand why Art would choose to die rather than undergo dialysis when he was having a great quality of life otherwise. Surely people on dialysis feel better day-to-day than people whose failing kidneys are slowly poisoning them?
Obviously, adults have the absolute right to do whatever they want with their bodies. If he knew he didn't want it, good for him for standing his ground.
Lindsay: Reactions to dialysis differ. I read the E&P story, too, and it wasn't my impression that he objected to the discomfort of dialysis. It is uncomfortable, has to be done frequently and you feel very tired towards the end of the interval. From what I understood, he just felt he didn't want to live tethered to a machine that didn't even give that much relief. He seemed to be at peace with his life, his wife was gone and he wasn't afraid to die. It gave him more control over his life and that as much as anything contributed to the quality of his last year. At least that's the sense I got watching the NewsHour interview, and there wasn't anything in the E&P artiicle inconsistent with it. I haven't read his last book, writeen in this period, which might shed some light on his thinking.
Thanks, Revere.
This interpretation, especially, makes a lot of sense.
I was less of a fan of Buchwald although I had no particular objection to him. I was impressed with his presence of mind to make his own medical decisions however. I am of a religious mind (evil Christian) although I will readily acknowlege that these things ultimately rest on faith and are not knowable in terms of any afterlife and any permutations thereof. It is good though, I think, that Buchwald did not sucumb to the "put my end in other peoples hands" approach and burden his family members with that. He did not commit suicide although I would argue that was his choice if he wished (not going to Physician assisted - that is a different argument). He did act in a way that maintained whatever control was possible in the life he had left. All in all, a good end I think.
Carl, I am a religious person myself, although probably not by your standards (professing, practicing Pagan). Two years ago I watched a very dear friend die too young from cancer. Because she was a practicing Catholic, once recovery was no longer possible she chose the hospice route, pallitive care only; because she was a practicing school-of-Dorothy-Day Catholic, she had a deep reserve of dedicated friends, co-workers and acquaintances to ensure that she could die in her own home at her own pace. Having been intimately involved with the unavoidable indignities of her last few days, I know that I don't have her strength or her dignity. If my end should approach in the same fashion, Goddess forbid, believe me that I will be looking for a Physician to Assist me in moving to the next life! It is a bedrock part of my religious faith that each of us has our own death to deal with, just as each of us has our own life, and I honor Mr. Buchwald's choice to live and to die on his own terms.