Freethinker Sunday Sermonette: Game Day. Don't pester God.

Game Day. Don't pester God with petty Life and Death stuff. He's ready for some football!. And why not? Players on both sides pray to Him, credit Him with their touchdowns, sacks, interceptions. None ever blame Him for their Mistakes. It's all good stuff. What's not to like? Football's Biggest Fan. And his favorite team? Your team. The team from your local area.

That's not all. God is an Awesome Team Physician:

Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna expected people to snicker and laugh when they heard his explanation for his comeback against Minnesota after getting knocked out of the game with a concussion.

"It was a miracle," Kitna said Monday. (ESPN)

Why would I snicker and laugh? I'm just a doctor. Kitna knows about concussions. This was his third. And he still doesn't have brain damage!

"I've never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle," Kitna said. "I just definitely feel the hand of God. That's all it was. You can't explain it.

"I have no headaches, no symptoms, no lingering effects. But that was the worst my head has ever felt, and the worse my memory was in the second quarter. Yet, after halftime there was nothing."

This medical miracle comes just as the NFL is taking a hard look at concussions. Well, at least a harder look. The doctor in charge of their concussion committee resigned in February amid accusations he didn't take concussions seriously enough. He thought "suck it up" and get back in the game was good therapy. Unfortunately the data seemed to indicate otherwise. There are delayed effects and studies have shown increased risk of depression and evidence of brain damage.

But that's in the absence of Divine Intervention. Kitna was so addled after his first half head whack, he was incoherent and didn't know where or who he was. After half-time God healed him. By the fourth quarter he convinced the medical staff he was fine and could go back in the game.

Let's face it, though. There's another perfectly good -- and Darker Explanation. Satan messed with the morals of the medical staff.

Which is it? Oh, my. Oh, my. Help me, O Lord, to know The Truth.

Was Kitna's return brought about by The Lord or by The Devil? How about some scriptural citations to guide me. I know some of you are up to the challenge.

More like this

Back in high school I dated a girl who was a Christian Scientist. Every night we went out she tried to get me to go to church with her. She would constantly tell me about the miracles God did in her congregation.

Finally I said ?When God fixes your teeth I will attend church with you.?. I felt pretty safe as she had two fillings and a bit of overbite.

Several years later I ran into her at a wedding. She proudly showed me her gleaming white teeth with no fillings. For a moment I felt trapped. Then grabbing a pencil, I pulled the gum line down. To my utter relief I found a beautiful set of caps.


When both teams pray for victory, does god become a faith-based auctioneer?

"Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."

Prayer for worldly things. I wonder who they are worshiping?

This was from Matthew 4.

There is another verse there and it says bascially that Satan (and accomplices) should never put the Lord thy God to a test.

Doesnt say what happens if you do.... on any given Sunday.

By M. Randolph Kruger (not verified) on 21 Oct 2007 #permalink

There was a fairly famous record called "The Game of Life," released circa 1954, in which an announcer gave a play-by-play account of a football game between Christianity and the Forces of Evil.

First time I heard it, I was on the edge of my seat wondering who was going to win.

Also, a football player who was well known for injuring other players above and beyond the call of duty explained some years ago that it was a case of the Imitation of Christ, being as "Jesus was an 'in your face' kinda guy." Or so I seem to recall...

Jesus (who may not have actually been a person, but rather a collection of stories) is portrayed as being concerned mostly about the issues of hypocrisy, wealth, and caring for fellow human beings. I am sure that after the church fathers settled on the gospels they would cannonize, they quickly began to regret it. However more and more their parishoners didn't read Hebrew,Greek or Latin, so the church could teach what it wanted and ignore the New Testament.

To live the teachings ascribed to Jesus takes a St. Francis. Not many are up to that, but any efforts in that direction should be admired. Instead Jesus gives people Homes, Jobs, and victory (football field or war - although he isn't doing real well with Iraq and failed the US with Vietnam).

A comedian -- I can't remember who -- said that since winning teams always thank God, he'd always wanted to hear a player on a losing team say "We were doing great until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team."

I had the same kind of concussion as Kitna as a kid. Playing football in the street I was literally embedded into the asphalt. I was groggy for about an hour then felt good enough to go out for a couple of games of tag and dodge ball.
A month later the head aches started, blurred vision, vomiting... the works. Kitna might not feel it now, but Mother Nature will catch up to his head and plant him but good if he isn't careful. He'd better blame his god for that stuff as well as the temporary miracle cure...
As for thanking god for winning a stupid game (be it football, golf, basketball or baseball) does that god hate the other players? If so how can this be the true loving god we should all fall down and worship?
No thanks.

By G in INdiana (not verified) on 22 Oct 2007 #permalink

Actually, Revere, it was both the Devil and God who performed the miraculous healing on Kitna. God used His holy appendages to heal Kitna's concussion while Satan used His unholy appendages to overrule the physician's better judgment which allowed Kitna to return to the field.