When I first saw this, I thought that it had to be a joke, but now I'm not so sure. I'm guessing you've all heard of ear candling, which can supposedly cure tinnitus, clean the ear canal of wax buildup, relieve vertigo, cure swimmer's ear, and provide a variety of other supposed health benefits?
Well, an orifice is an orifice, so are you ready for....ButtCandles� (I don't think that I am.)
According to the web page:
ButtCandles⢠are an exciting, and time honored, device for internal cleansing. We encourage you to peruse our site, read the referenced medical literature, and then make an informed decision as to whether you want to purchase our high-quality sanitary products. We stand behind all of our products and offer a 100% money back guarantee for all unused/unspoilt product.
From the FAQ:
Q: Is the ButtCandle⢠really a candle?
A: Yes, but not necessarily what you might picture as your dining room table variety of candle. In length and diameter, it's similiar to common candles. However, a hollow channel is cut from bottom to top which causes air to be drawn from the base to the top. In practice, this creates a vacuum at the base which, when inserted in the rectum, gently dislodges intestinal and rectal blockage.
Gee, sounds as though it will work for me, but I have a concern, and I'm guessing a lot of you could guess what it is:
Q: Should I be concerned about bodily gas?
A: The unique design and shape of the ButtCandle⢠allows for any natural gas to either dissipate or burn w/o fear of personal discomfort or injury.
Imagine my relief.
I'm convinced that this page has to be a big joke. No, it isn't the ludicrousness of the material on it that led me to conclude this. I've seen altie claims every bit as bizarre as the ButtCandleâ¢. The real reason that I'm sure this is a big joke is because there is no link that I can find to a page that would allow you to actually purchase the ButtCandle⢠online. No self-respecting altie would put up a web page offering 15% discounts for such a product and not actually include a link allowing the reader to buy the product.
If it isn't a joke, this has to be the lamest altie entrepreneur I've ever seen.
{Hat tip to Curbstone Critic.}
Yes, it is a joke. Check out the Discussion Board and it will be made abundantly clear. They even link to Scientific American where buttcandle.com is referred to as a satirical site. It is a mildly humorous one as I know a number of people who swear by the ear candling and probably would try this as well. Gullibility, they name is human.
Damn.
I wish I had thought of that.
(*sighs in admiration of the brilliant ButtCandles designer*)
It's got to be a parody, BTW, because if they were for real they'd be called AyurvedicColonCandles or some less insulting name.
Is the Butt Candle Designer Intelligent? If so, someone should alert Dembski et al.
Lou - Clearly the Butt Candle is designed. Unfortunately, it is just as clear that Dembski, Luskin et al are NOT qualified to benefit from the Butt Candle, as their heads are so far up their rectums that the cleansing effect is unable to be effective.
Yes, Lou, I am afraid that the DI and it's minions must wait for the NEW, IMPROVED BUTT BLASTER! Coming to an Institute near you soon!
Ahhh... until now I had only heard whispered rumors in back rooms about a small, nuclear-powered, wedge-shaped, SUPER SUCKING BUTT BLASTER which may or may not be based on alien technology that was being suppressed by the government. Also there may have been something about Elvis.
1) Caution, the site crashed Firefox. &
2) Sounds like something to point the Gorians to...
Oh my! With all the weird things out there for alternative medicine, I actually believed it at first. Although the sad thing is, I wonder if anyone out there would actually try this? I guess if they did, they might end up being a candidate for the "Darwin Award", no?
Candle in the Wind... OMG. I just nearly dropped my laptop.
"Candle in the Wind... OMG. I just nearly dropped my laptop."
Unforgivably irreverant. LMAO
I also see doctors poopooing the ear candles. They say that the wax that collects in them after you're done isn't from your ears. BS. They don't know what they are talking about. It works. That stuff did not come from the candle. It's obviously earwax. You get different amounts for different people. Sometimes there's a lot, sometimes there's hardly any. And it doesn't work by suction as much as it works by a wicking effect. If you're ears are clogged, ear candles work. Your hearing will improve.
Hogwash.
See:
Why ear candling is not a good idea
Ear candles: Efficacy and safety
Ear candling (coning)
How do "ear candles" work?
Listen up: Beware of the "ear candle"
How come you decided to address this one personally instead of letting EneMan handle it?
EneMan thought it was too laughable to bother with. ;-)
How about Corn Blow?
I'll bet EneMan was just fearful of the competition.
Since Alties just love weirdo treatments like this and we know that their minds are too clogged to accept any facts, I would appreciate anyone's help in writing a grant application to develop and test "MindCandles" to clear the pathways to alties' brains.
Oh, wait, there are ButtCandles, and they seem to do the same thing.
Drat! There goes another million dollar idea.
Erm...if these exist, I suspect their real function is rather different to that described on the website.
I think you need one of TheProbe's candles, Alex. You mind is in desperate need of cleaning. ;)
Looks very similar to Objective Ministries - I feel that you will enjoy their spiritual advice on how to deal with a grumpy atheist (scroll down the page). They offer some excellent links to "good Christian businesses" that deal with the Bible Code, how to build a safer ark etc. I heartily recommend the description of their Mall Mission.
Best - Tony
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