That last creationist email I posted was agonizing in its longwindedness…how about something short and illustrated?
(Mild warning: this sketch might be considered obscene if it weren't so crude and talentless that any relationship to real anatomy is a scurrilous rumor.)
i drew a picher of u and ur bf
awww ur so in luv
I don't often get "artwork" in my email. The last one was a few months ago where the sender pasted my head onto the torso of what looked like a gay porn model engaged in an interesting act — that one really was obscene and I wouldn't consider putting it here, even if my miraculously photoshopped washboard abs were to die for, and certain other attributes were remarkable in their magnitude. This one, though … it's tasteless and stupid and unrecognizable.
I'm sure it was a labor of love by a good Christian, though, which makes it particularly amusing.
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Believers who don't get it, are obsessed with it.
This... this is a MASTERPIECE.
PZ! I had no idea you were into necrophilia! There you go, giving we nice atheists a bsd name.
I just wish I could tell what species you are? And does your trophy wife know of this.
I guess she does now.
I know what's wrong - the artist forgot the tentacles!
So is Darwin ass-fucking you with his chin or something? I don't get it.
There go your presidential aspirations for 2016.
Christian emo texting porn. The mind boggles.
Now THAT's what I call "framing".
That thing with his chin was something that polite company did hot speak of. But it did keep the crew of the HMS Beagle entertained.
Well, now I'm convinced to give up athieism and materialism.
The picture was completely off-base! I think you'd be more spooning with Darwin.
Darnit! More furry bashing???
Heh.
I see an image of the FSM (who takes many forms) blessing you with his noodly appendages. Praise him!
That meatball is kind of poorly rendered and funny looking though.
Endless forms most beautiful, indeed.
I know what's wrong - the artist forgot the tentacles!
Aren't those tentacles on the mantle/penis on Darwin's chin?
I'm sure it was a labor of love by a good Christian
There's an underlying vision of hope here. PZ, represented in canine form, is the victim of forces beyond his control, even if the protruding tongue evinces a certain delectation. Yet the master's hold can be broken...witness Darwin's understated, unembellished anatomy. The vivid shadowless background contributes to a sense of estranged freedom...ironically, the viewer is left perfectly unshackled. A burgeoning Miro!
From the reference to you and your bf, I think he's got you mixed up with Ted Haggart, or Larry Craig, or Mark Foley, or Bob Allen, or Glenn Murphy Jr. (From the picture it looks more like an episode of All Creatures Great and Small, with Chuck as Herriot.)
Darwin's chin is seriously creeping me out too.
WTF?
Although the hybridisation of PZ, a camel and Elmo is a bit creepy too...
Not two minutes after reading this, I come across this photo of a Dembski/Hilton hybrid.
Honestly, I was searching for more photos of Mulgaras to spice up my end of year talk.
Curse you Google!
Wow. What a thoughtful, mature argument. I am now convinced, and will give up my sinful atheist ways forever. If only because I want to be on this person's team.
I will only add this: Some enterprising sex toy company now needs to come up with a dildo called Darwin's Beard.
From the Interpit to you.
The Dembski/Hilton hybrid is disturbing in ways the PZ/Darwin one isn't. I mean, who in a sane state of mind thinks Dembski does numbers, outside his number on Baylor's administration?
What is it that ALL of these writers use Comic Sans? I didn't know the pope or anyone else made a decree for all fellow Christians to always use it. Maybe it's just for your convenience, meaning you can set up an email filter for "crazy creationists rants" that actually works unlike various spam filters...
Chin up, old boy!
How eloquent. Still preferable to the exercise in mind numbing rambling that was the last one on display though.
SoE: All other fonts are blasphemous! Though the use of comic sans is a comedic touch when PZ quotes, not necessarily the font that the original message was formatted with.
Who is the guy on the left? It isn't Larry Craig by any chance, and this sketch was not done in a Minneapolis airport john(now a major tourist attraction), was it?
It's amazing the nasty things that the "moral" Christians send to those "immoral" atheists.
I knew that I would get hate mail upon starting an atheist group at NMU. My first one came about two weeks ago, demanding that I stop posting my 'atheist bullshit' in the student announcements and that I should not be trying to get more people to come. (as if it were a disease I should keep to myself.)
I responded very politely, explaining that we, too, had a right to exist and that were promoted science and reason. I then provided a few links (including Pharyngula). I received a reply a week later facetiously thanking me for the informational links, then linking me to "his" website. meatspin.com. A gay porn flash.
Another example of that good old morality we atheists just can't possibly have. Morality (and gay porn apparently) is only for the religious. It's a good think religion has spokespersons like that around, or people would just think they're a bunch of idiots or something.
I'm jealous that yours, PZ, is so personal. I've got nothing of the sort yet. Maybe if I keep working at it.
You're being accused of ... barbophilia?
Sorry for the outright lying, we apparently cannot use the "creationist" blockquote class, unfortunately.
But, Hank, if you use style sheets you should be able to define it as a paragraph tag. Or if you're wrting in XML (Extensible Markup Language, you could create style. I think.
I was going to root for "necrobestiphilia" with a side order of "furry fun". Good on him (it was most certainly a "him") for using MS Paint so well though - he must have the seizures and hallucinations under control somewhat to focus for that length of time.
Try again:
Morning fingers. Pah.
It looks to me like he is calling you a "poopy-head".
I might be conflating two different groups of people, but it's peculiar that people who construe, "That argument doesn't make sense" as an ad hominem argument also stoop to crude and irrelevant insult. I claim the moral higher ground forthwith.
PZ, I suggest your you turn the other cheek.... actually turn both of them.
Behold, the penetrative powers of Darwin's beard!
Honestly, considering how sexually hung up Christian fundamentalists are said to be, they sure have wild imaginations when it comes to lewd acts.
As we found out yesterday, it's not a blockquote but a span class, and Scienceblogs removes all span tags (even when incomplete) for fear of spam.
Necrophilia is when live people perform sexual acts on dead ones.
We're gonna need a new term to describe this one. Biophilia, perhaps?
My mind recoils at creating a term specifically to describe lusting after PZ Myers, so let's gently draw the curtain over that one, shall we?
Maybe it just needs a new name. How about "Christian Sans"?
You know, we *could* commission the creation of a new font: Christian Sans. Hmmm... maybe Gumby Sans would be more useful for general purposes.
A Christian did this? You are probably right.
As one, I am embarrassed by it and am sorry for it.
"Chin up, old boy!
Posted by: MartinC"
I hereby nominate MartinC for a Molly. This comment was TOO FUNNY. Don't know if I can ever do this... quick, someone second me.
That crude drawing is no match for the loltheist link PZ provided earlier. :-)
http://loltheist.com/2007/09/27/god-is-everywhere-no-really-everywhere/
"Christian sans" is great for a font name, especially since there are so many ways to finish the phrase. Christian sans brains? Christian sans critical thinking skills? Christian sans correct grammar?
How did you get your jollies before Darwin grew a beard?
print them up, laminate them, make yourself some place mats!
Remember when Christians used to just paint churches and works of sublime beauty out of otherwise boring and unimaginative stories? And they'd spend a lifetime perfecting and polishing their skill?
I sure miss those days.
Well, it looks crude for sure, but believe it or not it's a real photograph, colorized and otherwise modified to make it look more cartoonish. The, uh, "artist" merely pasted PZ's face over Cap'n Fitzroy's.
Oh, and somebody (Owlmirror?) did figure out how to tag Comic Sans (plus the background gumbie) in comments on that other recent thread...it's beyond my meager html skilz but it can be done.
I dunno if that's an example of "framing," but looked at in a certain ironic dadaistic way, it might deserve to BE framed.
There certainly are some very weird people out there.
Repeat to yourself, over and over again.
Jesus died for his sins, Jesus died for sins.
The emailer is forgiven.
Wasn't that easy?
That's probably the best we can do, since "Dingbats" is already taken. Though, come to think of it, rendering that stuff in some kind of Dingbat font doesn't make it any less intelligible.
Maybe PZ is supposed to be defecating Darwin out feet first.
That would be painful.
The Penis/beard/excrement doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Freaks like this rarely do.
Christian Sans? I like that. (Of course, being a heathen penguin shagger, I don't have that font installed anyway, so it just comes out as plain sans serif.)
I've already been trying to start a meme where "christian" is used in a pejorative sense; meaning roughly "lacking one or more of what are considered the essential defining qualities of its genre and labouring under the misapprehension that this is for the better" (as in "christian rock music"). For instance, "Thinking you can use group permissions to prevent one Apache virtualhost user from seeing into another virtualhost user's homedir is pretty christian." Or: "D00d, if you were any more christian you'd need a bible".
Yes, but *these* go to elevenChristian!
Artwork is always great. I've been the recipient of some:
http://flickr.com/photos/josh_charles/361613233/
That looks like one of those neolithic cave paintings. You should re-do it on black and white on a stone background.
Wow. I want that on a t-shirt.
Maybe PZ should run with this. Like Stephen Colbert's Green Screen Challenge. PZ could encourage fans and detractors alike to submit their artwork featuring him engaging in some sort of romantic (or merely friendly) activity with various enemies of faith. "Romantic" need not necessarily mean sexual or obscene, mind you. It could be as innocuous as modifying American Gothic with the heads of PZ and Paul Kurtz. Hmmm... now that I look, I think Dembski's face is actually on that painting.
I can't say I've been the victim of bad Photoshopping the way PZ has, but my pseudonym's image has. (Peruse the posts from the last three months or so on the rest of the blog at that link and you'll see that Orac's image has been abused several times.)
Well, *I* wanna know who did it, since you KNOW it's someone who haunts other evo/anti-ID blogs.
My first guess is it's Neal. Second guess, Emanuel Goldstein.
George: bingo.
I was thinking, though, a project of this magnitude probably kept Legion off the intertubes for a good day or two, so there's a bright side.
Wow, that's classy. I can see the impenetrable logic of your correspondant's vision right there - apparently, "Love thy neighbor" doesn't apply to anyone you don't like. Has this guy got an audience with our Commander-in-Chief?
His art skills need some work, though.
Well, shoot, if it's consensual, then, whatever makes you happy.
But, PZ, are your nipples *supposed* to be by your neck? You should get that checked out. Migrating nipples can't be a good sign.
And you should feed Darwin He of the Awesome Chin Appendage some more food. He looks like a stick figure.
Why did he past your head onto a dog's body? Er, I think it's a dog.
WOW, he misspelled 8 words out of 14! More than half. Speaks volumes about his level of education, if nothing else.
Im in ur Fotoshop, Pastin ur facez.
It's Happy Noodle Darwin!! Nny sent it!!
I love how being gay is constantly used as an insult, like being gay is the worst thing anyone can possibly be. Frankly, being gay myself, I get more than a little sick of this line of thinking.
That being said, this picture is like insanity given form. I thought he'd drawn some sort of ball-gag on the mouth at first, but no, it's just a badly drawn mouth.
Also,
Hey Shin,
Although there is maybe some anti-gay sentiment here, what I gather he's implying isn't so much that PZ or Darwin is gay as that PZ is Darwin's b*tch.
I remember seeing some vaguely similar artwork a few years back on anti-Jar Jar Binks Web sites. The title of the one that came to mind read "Not Milk!" Of course, the difference was, those were actually pretty funny (so long as your kid didn't see them), whereas this is just malicious...not to mention illiterate.
I would agree with you except for the caption. The author seems to think that PZ being in luv with his bf is funny even aside from the chin-fucking. Though I do think that the real substance of this fine piece of artwork is, as you said, PZ being Darwin's bitch.
Got a point there Rhian. I don't know if that's supposed to represent him being in "luv" with (enslaved to?) Darwin (instead of Darwin's ideas, a dead giveaway for a clueless creationist, or was that redundant?), or if it's just a homophobic slur. Probably both, I suppose.
Well, "being someone's bitch" is an anti-gay sentiment too, isn't it? Kinda sexist too.
There's a wierd attitude of modern-day neo-con somewhat christian folk (at least when it comes to bashing "happy holidays" and optional citing "under god" in the pledge of allegence) that God likes them, or that God loves America, or God is a Republican.
Sometimes I want to just give up rational discourse and turn to personal insult and ask one of them and ask "God is 6,000 years old. He's seen every civilization in history. He's seen Renaissance Italy. Do you really think you're going to heaven? If God can hang out with Michaelangelo, Shakespeare, Cole Porter, and Leonardo Da Vinci, do you really think he'd want to hang out with you?"
Thing is, it's true. All idealogy and politics and world views aside, these modern-day neo-con ideologues are just plain ugly, boring, and unsophisticated. I mean, George Bush honestly thinks God talks through him. Has he ever asked himself *why* God when given a choice of David Mamet, Paul McCartney, Robert Pinsky, or David Letterman among others would choice Bush? I mean, come onnnnnn......
Is that beard feeling up the lumpy things ass?
'Darwin's Dangerous Idea?'
Suggested reply :
"Hi. Thanks for the drawing. It's not bad, but you could make a better one feturing yourself and Jesus. He loves you, remember."
This was actually part of my thinking behind trying to get "christian" adopted as the new universal insult: revenge on behalf of the gay community. Being asexual, I get straight people -- and invariably ones I wouldn't fancy if I was gay -- accusing me of being gay all the time.
But I thought we were just friends!
Re the chin thing, obviously this was made by someone who has never gotten laid and/or is too dumb to figure out how to masturbate.
(BTW, am I the only one who thought of Queen Hatshepsut's mask? History geekness strikes again!)
Though the use of comic sans is a comedic touch when PZ quotes, not necessarily the font that the original message was formatted with.
Ah, I just remembered one post saying "I didn't change the font" with another rant and that somehow stuck with me.
Comic Sans still seems to be the obvious choice for such language and artistic abilities :D
Nah, "Neal" is more entertaining, has better spelling, USES MORE CAPS, fewer full stops (periods to the USAians (and (OTHER) aliens)))), and lots more!!!!!!!!!
I've no idea about hand-eye co-ordination, albeit both "Neal" and the artist(?) seem to lack a brain-thought connection.
My impression, after looking at a magnified image--which does not make it any better!--is the vaguely dog-like brown blob with PZ's head attached is farting a stick figure to which a bust of what might be Darwin is attached. Sounds painful. (Dunno if it contributes to AGW or not?) And what the relationship is to what I'm guessing the caption is trying to say has me baffled.
From the Interpit to you.
The Dembski/Hilton hybrid is disturbing in ways the PZ/Darwin one isn't. I mean, who in a sane state of mind thinks Dembski does numbers, outside his number on Baylor's administration?
As we found out yesterday, it's not a blockquote but a span class, and Scienceblogs removes all span tags (even when incomplete) for fear of spam.