Truly gagworthy

free is still too expensive

I wanted to make a joke about a new dartboard, but how do you assign points? I wouldn't know where to begin.

I saw them all standing there and all I could think is, "Where the hell is a run-away bus when you need one?"

Isn't that a parody poster? I read it as "No education is complete until it includes us, because we're not educated yet." Sort of like "No conservative left behind". It's not really a real poster advocating including information on them in other people's education, right?

Hang the leaders of the Conservative Movement on the wall in your office, home, or dorm!

Eeeew. I keep my gallows outside.

I don't recognize any of them, not even the tall ugly guy with the big adam's apple and blond hair. Am I missing anything? A little help here?

The fact that the likes of D'Souza, Malkin and Coulter are big stars in that realm says quite a lot. When, oh when, will the evil end? Has it always been like this? I admit I've only REALLY been paying attention since 2003 2004. Were there venomous harpies like Coulter and self-inflated rabble-rousers like Limbaugh back in the '60s and '70s?

Anyone notice how it looks like everyone's sort of edged away from Coulter? Maybe it's cause she's wearing a skirt ending above the knees!

Yeah Felicia, I noticed that. Now I'm waiting for Ann Althouse to call her on it. *snicker*

Sheesh, I just loved the "cheesecake" shot of Coulter that was on the same page. ¡Ay, Mostruo de Espagueti me proteja!

If that's espanol for "Im going to crawl into a corner and claw out my eyes now" then I'm right there with ya, Diego.

Yeah Felicia, I noticed that. Now I'm waiting for Ann Althouse to call her on it. *snicker*

Ick,ick,ick,ick. No that's not my cat having a furball, that's my stomach doing flip-flops.

(Hmmm, weird inexplicable double-post.)

LOL @ Diego y Cujo

They're all blank, white,

hey now, don't forget Clarence Thomas.

:p

oh and, as an addendum:

...and hanging from a roll in my bathroom.

from the site:

"The conservative movement starts here."

indeed, that's why toilet paper was invented.

Yeah, what's the deal with the "cheesecake" anorexic-unmarried-childless-slut/Christian values image Coulter's managed to sell? In the words of Michael Bluth: "Her?"

Damit, I'm from Canada and I am still gagging from having to look at that. Should not have clicked that link.

Shivers.

You know, when I was younger, if you had told me that someday I'd be repulsed by the sight of a tall, leggy blonde, I'd have said you were crazy. But fortunately I've grown some perspective, and yeesh... I'd rather have the furry pictures than this. Far less disturbing.

Ichthyic, or Condi Rice for that matter. Has she ever been photographed without a scowl on her face?

https://marketplace.yaf.org/cfwebstore/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.dis…

oh dear!

I hate to say it, but I am sorely tempted to get one of those just to see what interesting things I can do to it.

Someone ought to tell these guys that their website is handing out the shipping and billing information for people who are ordering these things.

Felicia Gilljam (#8):
She has a new book, , guess what she's wearing on the cover. I always wonder how often that outfit sees laundry soap, maybe poor personal hygiene is why everyone is backing away.

I like the part that says "Hang the leaders of the Conservative Movement."

But they mean in effigy. Or poster, I guess.

AGH! NSFW! NSFW!

God, that Ann poster. It looks like it was taken right before she unhinged her jaw and ate the photographer.

See? No gender-based insults here! What do I win?

Entirely unrelated Bloom County reference... Lola Granola's mother, trying to talk her daughter into putting on makeup for her wedding:

LOLA'S MOTHER: Here. Take this.

LOLA: A picture of Tammy Faye Bakker?

HER MOTHER: I thought it might help.

LOLA: Help what? Scare roaches?

Waldorf and Statler:
"Look Ma! No Brains!"

The Twist:
"No Education Is Complete Without Us Denigrating It."

LOLconservative (Via Boingboing):
"Were on ur wallz makin u cry"

Pop culture:
"Join us, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete".

Defensive:
"Buy our poster, featuring the greatest minds of conservative... STOP LAUGHING!!"

Snarky:
"Featuring the greatest heroes of the conservative moment, and six token minorities!"

I was okay with the first part of the description:

Hang the leaders of the Conservative Movement...

It was all downhill from there.

I'm not sure if PZ hasn't already noticed it, but that link looks like it has some kind of unique code for someone's account on that site... maybe it should be taken down?

Or maybe I'm just really confused and that's a problem with the site...

That's it? These are your luminaries?

Sheesh, no wonder the country's so bollocksed.

My favorite (in a limited sort of way) is the last poster at the 'posters' link with Bush doing a 'Sieg Heil' salute.

@Lago (#3):

I saw them all standing there and all I could think is, "Where the hell is a run-away bus when you need one?"

well, there's your proof for the non-existance of god right there.

Not just gagworthy, but gag-giftworthy! Usually I wouldn't buy something like these as a joke because the money supports an evil cause. But in this case, I'd actually be spending their money to line my friend's birdcage! (Assuming they don't take a cut of shipping and handling.)

The piece of "art" featuring PZ and Darwin is less disturbing.

For true style points they should have parts of the constitution on the opposite side of these posters.

Isn't "conservative movement" an oxymoron?

"shipped in to the photo shoot by way of the short bus"

LOL!!! Making jokes about retards is funnay!!!

I wouldn't buy a thing from this site and would recommend even the most ardent conservative stay away. When I clicked on the link, I was immediately in somebody else's account with full access. Clearly their developers don't know what they're doing.

For true style points they should have parts of the constitution on the opposite side of these posters ...preferably in tatters, just like they are in the real world because of these clowns. So sad to see you lot losing your country to these people. I really thought the Reagan-Thatcher teamup was the looniest wingnut wetdream possible, but this crowd make them seem positively rational.

Great... I think I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. Thanks PZ! :)

This is the only poster of its kind that includes these twelve conservative luminaries: John Ashcroft, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Robert Novak, Ward Connerly, Dinesh D'Souza, Walter Williams and many more.

Well, I see counting is not a strong suit.

Ichthyic, or Condi Rice for that matter. Has she ever been photographed without a scowl on her face?

that's not really a scowl, that's her "thinking" face.

Give her a break, she has to work really hard to make sure the next thing out of her mouth actually makes sense (unlike our commander in chief, who apparently couldn't care less if he makes sense or not, which is why he always has that slack-jawed grin on his face).

doesn't always work, though.

:)

Since when did these clowns become "CONSERVATIVES"? They are so right wing radical it is truly scary. I saw this poster and choked. I don't know if it was laughter or revulsion.

While I admit that YAF mailings are a bit obnoxious, and they trumpet the party line rather well, with political figures you have to take into account their whole stance. Most of their science is pretty atrocious, their fiscal policy is usually pretty good, or when they stop trying to pretend they know science and tute the religious horn, some of their social stuff is good. [Though I remember a truly failed attempt to explain evolution to a hardcore Christian, and he got hung up on whales evolving from "tigers". Mesonychids are not tigers, dammit!]

And hey, none of them are completely, irredemably (I think I killed that spelling..) BONKERS like, say, Kerry, Dean, Kennedy, or Huffington (with the possible exception of Coulter). Don't blanket disregard true conservatives ... of which Bush is NOT a party.

After all, it was thanks to Clinton that the SSC (Superconducting SuperCollider) was cut, and the US essentially lost all its responsibility in ITER (International Experimental Thermonuclear Reactor)-- Dems aren't perfect by a long shot, but have pretty lousy fiscal policy to boot. [Its better than Bush's "Spend like a democrat, tax like a republican" strategy, though].

I'm a fiscally conservative, small goverment physical science student going to graduate school next year. Believe me, the folks in government who truly represent what I believe are few and far between. Whatever happened to "small government"?

I suppose this boils down to the fact that while I generally like your blog, don't make the mistake of blanket ragging on conservatives, the Godful blithering idiots [and really ... most of their issues stems from that religious base]. After all, which party is embracing nuclear power and which is rejecting it? Few individuals are doing it for the right reasons, but the Dems are just incompetant here, and have no idea what an MeV is, those masses have an implicit c^-2, and wouldn't know a nuclear reaction if it hit them upside the head -- and certainly know squat about its saftey.

*Sighs*. Ostracized by both parties. *prepares for the flaming*. As a precaution well learned from /., let me acknowledge this post almost certainly has spelling and/or grammatical errors. I'm an astrophysics major, not an english major! And a bit of a comma-whore.

their fiscal policy is usually pretty good

you mean it's not based on voodoo economics?

can't be neocons then, must be some new mutant form of conservative.

If you look around a little further on the website, you will find all sorts of other freebies, like a wall poster of GW Bush, and a copy of the 2007-2008 "Campus Conservative Battle Plan". Curiously, they still charge 4.87 USD for the Ann Coulter wall poster...

Looking over at this from the UK, it honest-to-the-FSM terrifies me that people exist who would consider Ann Coulter as any kind of `luminary', rather than a hate-filled troll more suited to annoying people on the internet.

Over here she'd be viewed as a little further insanely right than the BNP (bunch of crazy racists party).

I guess youse gets what youse pays for.

*pause humor*

I forbade my father-in-law from emailing D'souza links and "Christian Nation" spam to my teenage son. Now they refuse to speak to me, my wife or any of our three kids.

*resume humor*

That had to be photoshopped. That many major idiot in one place would have created an implosion of stupidity resulting in a black hole. Just a theory.

Now they refuse to speak to me, my wife or any of our three kids.

consider it a bonus you don't have to undo the damage they inevitably would have caused your kids.

I'm a fiscally conservative, small goverment physical science student going to graduate school next year. Believe me, the folks in government who truly represent what I believe are few and far between.

Hail, brother!

Whatever happened to "small government"?

The bureaucracy acted to perpetuate itself, with predictable results. Also, Roosevelt. The less people are willing to think and maintain control of their government, the more the government has the opportunity to control - and the more the government does, the less people want to think. It's a vicious cycle.

Yeah, you conservatives. Government control is a bad thing. Except when it's George W. Bush wanting control over all of your communications with anybody. Then anybody who rails against that government control is probably doing something wrong and should probably be waterboarded, right?

My favorite of their posters is the "Great conservative books":

"This colorful poster includes images of the must read conservative books and a quote about the importance of books by Winston Churchill."

Presumably for conservatives who want to show off their knowledge of "must read" books without having to ... you know .. read.

I like the blurb on:

"Intellectual Morons On Sale!

THIS BOOK IS TEMPORARILY SOLD-OUT.

How people can be so blinded to reality by the causes they serve that they espouse bizarre, sometimes ridiculous, and often dangerous positions...
More..."

This doesn't apply to Neocon ad fundie's how?

I'm not sure what Diego said, but I think I agree 100%.

Anthony wrote:

Isn't "conservative movement" an oxymoron?

Sounds more like a euphemism. Change 'conservative' to 'bowel'...

The bureaucracy acted to perpetuate itself, with predictable results.

Indeed.

The less people are willing to think and maintain control of their government, the more the government has the opportunity to control - and the more the government does, the less people want to think. It's a vicious cycle.

Ditto. Plus, we rarely see anyone over-valuing freedom. The so-called "conservatives" want to control our personal lives and are happy to create more bloated bureaucracy (redundant and repetitive!) to do so while the so-called "liberals" want to control our economic lives in much the same way. The key factor behind the health and prosperity we enjoy has been and remains relatively free markets. At least "conservatives" claim to believe they're a good thing....

Isn't there some company out there that prints custom toilet paper? Sounds like an obvious combo....

A little late to the party, but...

Myself, I don't need one. I already have many copies of pictures of my conservative heroes. They're all blank, white, and hanging from a roll in my bathroom.

Thank you. I needed a laugh this morning.

I definitely owe you one.

LOL. A paradox. Its my new MSN avatar.

I love how all the 'heroes' are talking heads. I was thinking, would it be some fireman from 911 or a Marine who raised the flag at Falluja. Nope, a bunch of bullshit artists. Frankly I would think some of the creationists are more heroic in their sacrifices and devotion to their insane cause then say Ann Coutier.

BTW I want my toilet paper to remove shit, not add to it.

TigerhawkVok: their fiscal policy is usually pretty good

I think you misspelled "rhetoric".

none of them are completely...BONKERS...(with the possible exception of Coulter)

Do not make us post the video of Malkin in her cheerleader costume.

You're at least correct in that some of them (Williams, Novak, D'Souza) are entirely rational in the way they lie and defame others for a living.

Is it a bug or a feature that clicking on "next poster" on that website inevitably gives a recommendation of an Ann Coulter poster after every 2 clicks?

Sheesh, will women ever get a hawt-conservative-guy poster?

Conservative movement, is that similar to a bowel movement?

Isn't "conservative movement" an oxymoron?

Of course it is.

That's part of the reason why they aren't conservatives but reactionaries.

their fiscal policy is usually pretty good

Tax cuts for the rich?!?

Surely you don't belong to the 19 (nineteen) % of Americans who believed, in 2001, that they belonged to the richest 1 (one) % of Americans and would therefore profit from the tax cuts?

After all, it was thanks to Clinton that

Not so fast. Remember, you're talking about the best Republican president you've ever had. :-)

[Its better than Bush's "Spend like a democrat, tax like a republican" strategy, though].

Oh, so you don't belong to the abovementioned 19 %. So... what do you consider good about Reptilian fiscal policy...?

I'm not sure what Diego said, but I think I agree 100%.

He was crying for the [Flying] Spaghetti Mo[n]ster to protect him.

And Bob L gets a Molly nomination...

Oh, and, for the record, it is unparsimonious to assume that Coulter is anorexic. Look at her knees -- the bones are what's narrow there. It's a quarter past 1 at night, and I got up early today yesterday, so I feel like saying "morphological species concept"...

An opened instead of closed blockquote tag. A sign del Monstruo Espagueti Volante that I should go to bed.

completely, irredemably (I think I killed that spelling..) BONKERS like, say, Kerry, Dean, Kennedy or Huffington

I understand political disagreement, but this is a bit much. Can you provide support -- any support -- for your contention that any of these people is "completely, irrede[e]mably BONKERS" in any way comparable to Coulter?

I wait with bated breath.

After all, it was thanks to Clinton that the SSC (Superconducting SuperCollider) was cut

You mean like this?

I think PZ tends to single out conservatives because of their affinity for intellectual dishonesty, such as you have demonstrated.

I fell into the standard trap of blaming the president for what Congress decides. More accurately, it was under Clinton's administration that the SSC fell through and the US initially drwe out of ITER (though GWB's re-insertion into it was basically at Blair's insistence, so that's not a point in GWs favour).

SSC:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider

Cited reference:
The project was canceled by Congress in 1993. Many factors contributed to the shutdown of the project, although different parties disagree on which contributed the most. They include rising cost estimates, mismanagement by physicists and Department of Energy officials, the end of the need to prove the supremacy of American science with the collapse of the Soviet Union, belief that many smaller scientific experiments of equal merit could be funded for the same cost, Congress's desire to generally reduce spending, and the reluctance of Texas Governor Ann Richards [1] and President Bill Clinton, both Democrats, to support a project begun during the administrations of Richards's Republican predecessor, Bill Clements, and Clinton's Republican predecessors, Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush. However, in 1993, Clinton attempted to prevent the cancellation by requesting that Congress continue "to support this important and challenging effort" through completion because "abandoning the SSC at this point would signal that the United States is compromising its position of leadership in basic science..." [2]

IE, its kinda a mixed call, but generally attributed to the democrats. Thank you, come again.

And, for the record, I don't like GWs surveillance more than any of you. That kinda goes against the "small government" thing. Its fine and dandy to try to be secure and to want to be a moral person and all, but you have to toe the legal line while you're doing it.

Re: craziness of those mentioned: I can't justify Coulter's current positioning, because I got fed up with her about three years ago and thus cannot competantly argue the point. However, it shows how out-of-touch many democrats are when they call for universal, government-subsidized healthcare. As anecdotal as it may be, I spoke with several people in Europe when I was there about the same problem, and every single one of them (4/4, which isn't the best statistics) said they wished they had the US healthcare system. Perhaps the grass is always greener, but I'll make it or break it on my own steam, thank you. And I've had my share of "break it"s because of the neo-racist "diversity" measurements in place, and I refuse to use an accident of genetic history to dictate any aspect of my life. (In less verbose terms, I'm a minority who check-boxes "white" or "decline to state" or writes in "Homo sapiens sapiens").

I'm actually kinda surprised I follwed up on this, I usually don't in comments.

I suppose it's the closest we'll get to having them up against the wall.

Pity, that.

-- CV

Isn't "conservative movement" an oxymoron?

Of course it is.

That's part of the reason why they aren't conservatives but reactionaries.

their fiscal policy is usually pretty good

Tax cuts for the rich?!?

Surely you don't belong to the 19 (nineteen) % of Americans who believed, in 2001, that they belonged to the richest 1 (one) % of Americans and would therefore profit from the tax cuts?

After all, it was thanks to Clinton that

Not so fast. Remember, you're talking about the best Republican president you've ever had. :-)

[Its better than Bush's "Spend like a democrat, tax like a republican" strategy, though].

Oh, so you don't belong to the abovementioned 19 %. So... what do you consider good about Reptilian fiscal policy...?

I'm not sure what Diego said, but I think I agree 100%.

He was crying for the [Flying] Spaghetti Mo[n]ster to protect him.

And Bob L gets a Molly nomination...

Oh, and, for the record, it is unparsimonious to assume that Coulter is anorexic. Look at her knees -- the bones are what's narrow there. It's a quarter past 1 at night, and I got up early today yesterday, so I feel like saying "morphological species concept"...

An opened instead of closed blockquote tag. A sign del Monstruo Espagueti Volante that I should go to bed.