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Randy Pausch, Carnegie Mellon computer science professor, passed away early today. If you haven't watched Pausch's last lecture, you should:
This lecture, when I first saw it, reminded me how important humor is for teaching. In other words, my students from last term can blame all my silly jokes…
The Bottleneck Years
by H.E. Taylor
My thanks go to Marlene for listening and to Kaeren and Rick
at the Sal's for their many helpful comments.ISBN: 978-0-9881321-0-8
Copyright(2012) by H.E. Taylor
Table of Contents
Chapter
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Date
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0
Edie
May 11, 2055
5
1
The Burning…
We knew that the Discovery Institute was wrong about evolution. They recently set out to prove to the world how wrong they are about global warming, having also shown how poorly they grasp the difference between weather and climate, how little they understand about tsarist Russia, about Social…
It's influenza-like illness ("ILI") season again. We just call it flu season but in fact there are a lot of respiratory viruses running around besides the flu virus that look like flu. Recently we discussed one of the others, the human metapneumovirus (HMNV). It's been around infecting us for over…
A good lecture is a good performance, it's true.
So young. Cancer sucks.
Yikes. That sucks... that really sucks.
Saw him and talked to hem when he came to UVA....he seemed to be filled with incredible joie de vivre.
PZ, you've been listening to NPR haven't you?
For the story of the "adventure" as Dr. Pausch called it, go to his web page:
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/news/index.html
The world has lost another of the good guys, but lots has been left behind for us all to learn from.
It's very sad to see such a magnificent educator taken from us in his prime. Wonderful video.
I watched that earlier this morning. I am sad this is my first introduciton to him (on the day we lose him).
Fabulous video.... it is worth the hour of your time... really.
I wish I could think of more to say than how very sad it is that the world has lost such a bright light so young. Thanks for the video...
I agree cancer sucks, he was way too young. However he touched so many people's lives and will be long remembered for it. What better legacy can you leave behind?
It's always the good ones who leave us too soon.
Earlier this month, I lost a friend who was only six years older than Pausch to cancer as well. And I'd been following the blog as well. I knew it had to be getting close because he'd lost a lot of weight, well past the point he'd been to before, but man, so sad.
"Last Lecture
I hope that Pausch was a good (or perhaps great) computer scientist because he's a lousy performer. I found his "Last Lecture" to be...shallow.
I've been composing my "last lecture" for a few months now.
It's short and simple:
Life is nothing more than just going about your business;
And getting there is no harder than putting one foot in front of the other.
I also have my epitaph done:
"And the sky cracked open,
and terrifying forks of lightning split the earth,
releasing deafening explosions of roaring thunder.
And the mighty wind blew,
creating a maelstrom of fury and rage...
And then all was quiet, and the gentle sea serenely rolled on,
as it has since the beginning of time."
CEW
I couldn't read his book because just thinking about it made me choke up. I'm wondering if I can read it now, though. That's a terrible thought, in a way.
:(
Why Must We Die?
(words and music A. McGarrigle, K. McGarrigle, J. Zifkin/Garden Court Music ASCAP, J. Zifkin, SOCAN)
We are meat, we are spirit
We have blood and we have grace
We have a will and we have muscle
A soul and a face
Why must we die?
We have eyes and intuition
A DNA code and a name
Some tend to logic, some superstition
We have an aura and a frame
Why must we die?
We are human, we are angel
We have feet and wish for wings
We are carbon, we are ether
We are saints, we are kings
Why must we die,
Why must we die?
We are men of constant sorrow
We'll have trouble all our days
We never found our Eldorado
Where we were born
We are meat, we are spirit
We have blood and we have grace
We have a will and we have muscle
A soul and a face
Why must we die,
Why must we die?
We are men of constant sorrow
We'll have trouble all our days
We never found our Eldorado
Where we were born
We are men of constant sorrow
We'll have trouble all our days...
Shallow as you may believe it was, it was his way of dealing with the knowledge of his immanent death. You deal with your death as you will and I will deal with my death in my own way. The way each of us deals with death is private and personal, none of us can, nor should, comment on others' process of coping.
That should be 'imminent'
I hadn't heard of this guy before, but I'm going to have to watch this lecture when I get home from work. Reading about his fight with cancer and how he continued to live out his remaining months with such energy and enthusiasm fills me with a mix of emotions... primarily sadness and anger. Cancer is such a shitty way to go, knowing all along that you are going to suffer and die. I felt the same way when Tony Snow died - despite the fact that his job was to tell lies for a corrupt administration, he still seemed like a really nice guy, and nobody should have to suffer like that.
"Only the good die young..."
(Not true, but it's the only thing that comes to mind right now.)
I lost my father to pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago (he was 67). He died only 3 months after his diagnosis. It's an insideous disease.
A person I know, who is a physicist (and an athiest/skeptic), wrote the following about death, which I like to read when I think about our mortality:
Your consciousness will remain every bit a part of reality, even in the most atheistic sense. The distinction between future, past, and present is somewhat misunderstood -- they're all a part of the same state of the universe. You should not think of death as 'an event which causes you not to be' -- you should think of death (along with conception) more as a boundary to the little region of spacetime defining your existence. That corner of spacetime will always be yours; you do exist -- you have been granted reality along with the rest of the universe -- and nothing can ever change that.
Great presentation by Mr. Pausch. The book is fantastic.
"You deal with your death as you will..."
As I am...
My way of coping is keeping connected to the world.
And listening to music...
I was commenting on the substance of this lecture, not on the circumstances that effectuated it.
I have been fortunate to have lived a full life and I have no regrets. It just seems to me that someone in our (Pausch and I) situation could come up with something more substantive to say.
My epitaph will also be from a song popularised by Kate and Anna McGarrigle:
For he goes birling down a-down the white water
That's where the log driver learns to step lightly
It's birling down, a-down white water
A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.
St. Michael the Archangel, have you met Bishop Pontoppodan? It would appear he also shares your situation.
I'm afraid this won't be very substantive at all, but I wish the best for you and your loved ones.
Naturally, the LA Times had to gum it up.
Pausch explicitly refused to discuss religion in his talk, and you get the sense he's not one of the deluded ones in that respect. But the Times simply couldn't bring themselves to write a story about someone dying without dragging in some sort of religious blather, while noting that the talk didn't mention religion:
Some people believe that those who are dying may be especially insightful since they must make every moment count. Some are drawn to valedictories such as the one Pausch gave because they offer a spiritual way to grapple with mortality that isn't based in religion.
Sandra Yarlott, director of spiritual care at UCLA Medical Center, said that researchers such as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have observed that work done by dying patients "resonates with people in that timeless place deep within."
As Pausch essentially said goodbye at Carnegie Mellon, he touched on just about everything but religion . . .
WTF?
How did they manage to sandwich that stupid, vacuous quote, from a professional spiritualist, between two explicit statements that Pausch's talk wasn't religious? How did they name it "spiritual [but not] based in religion"? Is there some kind of stupidity quotient at the Times? Or is their reporter simply unable to grasp the idea that not everything involving death, or the "deep place", is religious?
I too lost my father from this disease. It really sucks and I would advise everyone to give to a charity for pancreatic cancer research. Randy was one of the great teachers and his tremendous talent and enthusiasm showed. He will be missed but never forgotten.
It seems to me that one of his big talents was to take advantage of opportunities when they came along.
And I'm curious about what a substantive lecture would include.
"St. Michael the Archangel, have you met Bishop Pontoppodan?"
I am him.
I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that these are pseudonyms and they know my real name.
This is not an attempt to deceive anyone. My real name is blocked by Paul's filters.
I rather like these pseudonyms. I hope Paul will not block them too.
Google "Mind's Eye" + the last name of the composer of "Ride of the Valkyries" to be taken to my website and blog. I should be the first entry.
What a wonderful man.
That's sad to hear, I first heard about him during my Death and Dying class earlier this year.
Sad, sad news. He was way too young, which makes it really hard to swallow. What a wonderful legacy he's left though.
Oh, NOW everything is clear! The inane Archangel is none other than the inane Charlie Wagner!
Good. Time to update the killfile.
If there were a God, I'd be dead and Randy would be alive.
Yep, that would be him. Still insipid. The Mensa Card is a nice touch. Arrogant ass. How many of us have Mensa IQ's and aren't members. Who gives a rat? Killfile it is.
Well, this incredibly innovating human being added three more humans to the planet. That should be a major contribution to a better future, right?
Right?
RIGHT?
Thecla
"Some people believe that those who are dying may be especially insightful since they must make every moment count. Some are drawn to valedictories such as the one Pausch gave because they offer a spiritual way to grapple with mortality that isn't based in religion. (LA Times)
Horseshit....
The truth is that right up to the very end, no one REALLY believes that they are going to die. It must be some coping mechanism that is hard-wired into the brain on a sub-conscious level.
It's unusual what Randy did. Perhaps it will become a trend, talking about one's impending death to others, videotaping it for the Web. We need to take the skeleton (so to speak) out of the closet. In the west, we still are unable to talk about death easily.
I bet his last lecture pushed buttons in people. How can Randy be so positive, downright cheerful in the face of death; how can he be so hopeful that his legacy will inspire others to spread hope and fulfillment? He is supposed to be glum, frightened, moody, and angry, and instead, we get this charmingly goofy guy being direct, honest, and somewhat silly.
And simplicity--the ability to enjoy life and accept its limits while flourishing within those limits--is not shallow. Randy was a champ in this regard.
Every person who has ever lived has died. That's good enough for me to believe that I'm going to die.
Yes, I REALLY believe it. As firmly as I believe anything else.
Now, what occurs afterward is of course beyond my clear understanding. I suspect we simply cease to exist but I can't pretend to know for sure.
A Brown alum. That place does select for a lot of people who are really excellent human beings.
The world loses this man who did wonderful things with his life and faced death head-on but Dick Cheney still lives. WHY??
On my birthday a hero dies. I was dreading this day for multiple reasons, but you know, Randy wouldn't want our pity, our sorrow. He was a nice, good, happy, loving person.
Let's try to remember how awesome he was instead of that he's gone. By doing that, his true legacy will live on.
Funny thing, though, I was just thinking about him a few days ago, wondering how he was doing. I guess the answer was along the lines of not too good.
#38 "Every person who has ever lived has died."
Not true. Every single person alive today has not died! :P
Personally, I plan to live forever. So far, so good!
OT, but I think an interesting update (not that I want to turn this into another cracker thread, just an update):
I wouldn't complain about Johnson's response.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
#42--
Wow, can't believe I missed that.
Heh, touche.
I first saw his lecture almost a year ago. It resonated and stayed with me, and when I saw this post, I didn't exhale for a couple of moments. It was inevitable, it was expected... and it is still very very sad.
It seems that he did the best he could to live a good life, to be happy, to be kind to those he loved and to make the world a slightly better place through example and through teaching.
I don't know what more we can attempt to do. I hope they'll say the same of me, when I go.
I graduated from Carnegie Mellon in 2004 and I regret never meeting him. My heart goes out to his family. They should be proud. In the end we'll all die, but few of us will get to impact people nearly as much as Randy did. He was taken too young, but he did more with his time on this planet than most.
Bishop @ # 13
Perhaps the talk was shallow for you... but also perhaps you missed the "second head fake": The talk was not for you (nor for us), it was for his kids.
Bravo Randy Pausch!
-DU-
I saw Randy's lecture a few months ago and passed it on to all my friends. Such humor, warmth, and positive ambition--I dearly wish there were more like him. I'm a really freaking bummed at the news.
"Every person who has ever lived has died. That's good enough for me to believe that I'm going to die."
I dunno, how does that old joke go? "They say there are as many people alive on earth now as have ever lived before. So that means so far it's only happened to about half of us."
I'll have to find the time to watch this. I've been leery of it since learning that Oprah had him on her show. That usually sets off the alarm bells of woo.
"Some people believe that those who are dying may be especially insightful since they must make every moment count."
Newsflash, LA Times ... we ALL die! Now let's go and make every moment count.
Very inspiring talk.
I have been curious about Randy Pausch's video for several months. Perhaps it's because we both went to Brown - he graduated 18 years after I did so I never met him - or perhaps it's because we both made our livings dealing with computers. (I worked on a much more mundane level than he did.) Something about him resonated with me.
I started looking around the internet reading what people had to say about him and I found a curious phenomenon. Everybody has detractors but Randy seemed to attract an especially rotten one. There is a nasty piece of work who calls himself "de Selby" and who comments on all the blogs that mention Randy. He asserts that Randy's pancreatic cancer is a fraud, that Randy is doing it for the money, that Randy will live for a long time and that Randy will write other books that will make him a lot of money.
He does this without a shred of evidence. People who attempt to argue with him are belittled and insulted. He claims higher knowledge that he and only he is aware of. Most posters to blogs seem to be appalled by the troll's tirades but they are polite to him anyway.
Here are a couple of web pages with some of de Selby's posts
http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/randy-pausch-will-be-in-new-st…
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/16/a-professors-farewell-sparks-a…
Anyway...
De Selby reminds me of some of the religionists who post here. They state TRUTHS before which all of us must bow down. They have no evidence. Whatever evidence there is on a subject goes against them. They get angry when challenged. They belittle people who point out the weaknesses in their arguments. They claim higher knowledge of which we are not aware and they are.
Luckily people here are very impolite - I like that about the Pharyngulistas - and go after them with all guns blazing.
The point is that, if de Selby shows up here, we should treat him the way the usual suspects and give him hell.
I feel compelled to clarify my earlier post.
An earlier post stated flat out that no one "REALLY" believes that they are going to die (this is an extraordinary claim without evidence). I just wanted to state that I, at least, do in fact believe that I am going to die based on the track record of previous dead people. So that individual's absolute statement falls short. In fact, it seems like it'd take a considerable amount of mental blocking to deny the fact of death.
Perhaps before we die, someone will invent some means of preserving the conscious mind? Or perhaps the religious nutters are right and our "soul" lives on?
But I have no good reason to suspect either course is correct, so yes, I REALLY (again, his caps for emphasis) believe it is a safe bet that I and every other person here will ultimately die.
I can't believe this would be a controversial matter. Does someone know something about immortality that they care to share?
Wow. What fire he had for life. I don't know how you truly listen to that lecture and not feel at least some inspiration.
Posted by: St. Michael the Archangel | July 25, 2008 4:55 PM
A great many of us, regardless of the time given, could never come up with something even close to substantive. Certainly nothing like saying, "Hi, I help make dreams come true."
That's not a bad epitaph: I made dreams come true.
JBS
Wow, now I need to go spend more time with my kids. Visiting Pittsburgh next weekend (where I grew up), I think I need to surprise them with a visit to Kennywood and let them win some big stuffed animals.
I fell in love at the deathbed conversion, started crying at "Happy Birthday" and was completely flooded by the second head fake. I am SO a tough broad!
Whether I believe in it or not, anyone who says a bad thing about this man should go to Hell.
Judith,
Same here on all three... and I'm not even a broad!
-DU-
So, I had no idea who this dude was... but I figured what the hell, I was intrigued at the title and saw that he died today. Ended up watching the whole talk and, yeah, getting teary at the surprise "example" (not to spoil it for others...) and all out bawling by the time he exposed the second head fake.
Judith,
Same here on all three counts... and I'm not even a broad!
I also liked that his mom never even knew about his dads bronze star for valor.
All that and the line from his mom when Randy was getting ready for his theory qualifier and was having a touch of anxiety: "We know how you feel honey. When your father was your age he was fighting the Germans." (about 0:56 in).
Just to put things into perspective.
-DU-
That was entirely too surprisingly cathartic.
I have to pause in my viewing of this, from a combination of a sense of deja vu and finding out how Tom Sawyer felt attending his funeral, or at least the post mortem on a project I left before Randy showed up at it. If I had met him before I had decided to leave the VR project at Imagineering, I might have stayed on longer than I did.
I was intrigued because I looked at the screen, and saw a guy roughly my age (I was born three months to the day before Disneyland's opening day) wearing an Imagineering badge and a black shirt with the Imagineering Sorcerer's Apprentice shirt, and I still own mine too, so he's got my attention, but I didn't know what to expect at all from it. Hearing him talk about Aladdin's Magic Carpet Ride in public is kind of freaky, because it was such a black project, I couldn't even talk to my former teammates across the street at Feature Animation, when I ran into them at the cafeteria what I was working on, even if it was their character I was modeling in 3D and animating for the attraction. When the head of Imagineering's R&D brought in some big consultant guns early on in the project, especially Danny Hillis and Marvin Minsky, I got to hog a lot of Minsky's time because I was the only team member familiar with his work, but when he violated his NDA and announced the existence of the project in the pages of Scientific American, it was as if he had broken some sort of Omertà . So, to see this guy talking about it, to see the image of my basic journeyman's artwork of the Mickey Mouse hands on the Magic Carpet as part of the interface I helped solidify, flying through Gary's 3D Agrabah, it's a strange feeling, especially hearing him talk about my old boss Jon Snoddy, with whom I've only recently been able to speak amicably, since we've both been so averse to growing up.
When we got the ride in the park at EPCOT, and had a version up for 1994 SIGGRAPH attendees, Brenda Laurel brought Terrence McKenna along to look at what we did, and she decreed that it was "slicker than snail snot." She noted the device that snaps on the guest's head (which Randy did not divulge was what I had dubbed the Mental Dam) had deftly solved the sanitation issues. "Sanitation issues?" asked McKenna, in his nasal, Poindexter on Acid drawl. "Yeah, cooties, scabies, head lice, snot," she explained. Some moments cannot be improved upon. But there have been few places where it's even vaguely appropriate to talk about that stuff. When I realized that I'd worked at Feature Animation, and at Imagineering, and had actually worked on a project that became an installed attraction, while many had labored for a decade only for Eisner to give it the thumbs down on a whim, I decided I wanted to work on other things, and intellectual property issues were also part of why I left. I understand why Randy left as well. So, after nearly 3 years on that project, I left Disney. The trophy wife and I got married, and we left LA to work on location based entertainment and video games in the Bay Area. Here I am doing things backwards in contrast with Randy, credentialing up to keep on the Professor track so I can continue to teach the things I love doing as an artist working in animation and 3D, especially now that the tools are ubiquitous and damned near free, and nobody has to strike any Faustian Bargains with Da Mouse in order to get access to tools. I'll have to be a bit better prepared before I can watch the rest of the video.
Thanks, PZ, for posting this.
;(....damn that shit is deep...
I've followed Prof Pausch's fame in part because we have shared the loss of another member of the Carnegie-Mellon community, also way too early. Thanks for reposting this lecture.
That was superb. I wouldn't file under "acamedics," because most academics just aren't that good.
File it under "Top 0.01% people." He explains everything a smart person needs to be sucessful and fulfilled. I would make this mandatory viewing for the VPs at my current firm -- honestly, hard work, thinking about others, situational awareness are what it takes to achieve what you want.
And he even talks about luck and karma. These are real things: if you've done all of the above well, stuff just magially happens when you are in a bad situation and need some help.
It goes to show how much of a class act Randy Pausch was. It's unfortunate that death doesn't recognize the least productive members of society first (looking at you Donohue), but a man is defined not just by the way he lives his life, but by the way he faces his death (especially an untimely one). In his life, and now, I'm sure after his death, his brief presence on Earth helps to enlighten us all. His life lives on amongst his family, students, and humanity in general.
Thank you for posting this.
I'd never seen it before and so it was a first-time privilege for me. Some points I can't forget:
"No one is all evil."
"Never lose the child-like wonder."
"Have a big family."
"I'll take an earnest person over a hip person any time."
And, of course, right near the beginning, the deathbed "conversion:"
"I've switched to a Mac." :-)
Requiescat in pace, dear teacher.
What an incredible man!
Yeah, I loved the "deathbed conversion". LMAO! That's awesome!
To hope that I can be so light hearted when I'm at death's door.
fuck macintosh
WOW. I could only wish for half the optimism and bravery that he had when its my turn.
Totally irreligious myself, I am also personally glad that Dr. Pausch declined throughout to publicly discuss his own religion and spirituality, or lack thereof (except for a late conversion leading him to a Macintosh). I am unaware of anyone else who has spoken authoritatively for Randy in this regard, and I remain, respectfully, curious about it and have my suspicions. As much as I enjoy Pharyngula, I suspect that had he chosen to discuss this aspect of his life publicly that, regardless of "The Last Lecture" and/or anything else he achieved or stood for, that he would not have been recognized and celebrated here.
And wouldn't that have been a shame.
I saw this one some time ago, and thought :"Now there's a man who is going out with style. "
Not how I plan on going out. . . like my grandfather, in my sleep, not crying and screaming like the passengers on the bus he was driving at the time. . .
But, I hope that if I ever have to walk down that road labeled "terminally ill" that I can stand up to it like Dr. Pausch did. Thanks for posting it, PZ.
Please forgive my cynicism and/or skepticism, but I have to wonder why he didn't have a wife and children at an earlier
age. Or was he just too busy fulfilling his own dreams? His children for whom he is giving his last lecture could have been grown by now instead of growing up without a father.
Great story, but most of us never get to publicize ours.
Now my sinuses are clogged. I cried a lot but I'm glad I watched it.
Thanks for posting this PZ. It's sad to lose someone with such a passion for helping others' dreams come true too.
Wow got in a big fight with my mother over this. Loved every minute of it!
Larry (#73),
Dr. Pausch readily admitted to having been an arrogant young person, and has said he waited so long to get married because it took that long for him to find someone he cared about more than himself. He seemed pretty honest about his shortcomings.
On my birthday a hero dies.
I am sorry for your loss. Truly. No sarcasm there. The good doctor's death leaves a gaping hole in the fabric of rational thought, humanity, and intelligent humor.
Speaking of birthdays, though . . .
On my birthday frakkin' Kurt Cobain shot himself.
Intentionally.
Not just as a random biological error like cancer.
So every aries-damned year I gotta hear his mindless atonal wah-wah-wah teen-aged angsty bullshit antidisestablishmentarianism but-I'll-take-your-money-anyway drivel on the aries-damned radio on my aries-damned birthday.
Feh.
Wow, that was simply amazing.
@49 Actually, it seems that the current world population would "only" be about 6% of the number of humans that have ever lived.
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_population :
According to one set of calculations based on 2002 data:[37]
* The number who have ever been born is around 106 000 000 000.
* The world population in mid-2002 was approximately 6 215 000 000
* The percentage of those ever born who were living in 2002 was approximately 5.8%
The referenced article is at http://www.prb.org/Articles/2002/HowManyPeopleHaveEverLivedonEarth.aspx
It was a fun watch, and never before have I seen someone dealing with their own mortality in quite the same way. Especially when he spoke about the importance of having fun and said "I'm dying and still having fun". Seriously, how many people can say something like that with a straight face?
In a year, I expect that I will owe a great deal of my happiness to this man and his lecture(s). After spending too long pursuing the wrong things, I'm finally working towards a life in science, just as I always dreamed of as a kid. =)
@DLC
Just to make sure I'm parsing this right: your grandfather was a bus driver, he fell asleep at the wheel and died? Or is the sentence a metaphor for someone dragging those around them down to the same depressing level?
chrisD: it's an old joke.
The internet is like this giant peanut gallery. People who have done bugger all in their lives hang shit on the people who have. "He should have had his kids when he was younger"? Larry, you're a jerk.
Nothing against the man, his lecture, or his legacy, but . . .
I am not impressed by this quote from the article PZ linked us to: "'If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself,' Pausch said. 'The dreams will come to you.'"
That's about equivalent to saying, "bad things only happen to bad people." I haven't had time to watch the whole lecture, but I don't have much respect for that naivete. I am sure Pausch deserves a lot of respect for many things, just not that.
Sorry if pointing this out offends anyone, but I think it deserves to be said.
@#85 - You're reading into that sentence the wrong way. The man got cancer and died at age 47-- bad things DO happen to good people. If you watch the whole lecture, "leading your life the right way" means not backing down when you're presented with a brick wall. Work your ass off, and yeah, good things are more likely to happen.
Why couldn't Paul Myers die of cancer instead?
We need more nice professors, not nasty ones.
Randy Pausch was interviewed on the Unitarian Universalist Association web site about the last lecture:
http://www.uua.org/news/newssubmissions/117142.shtml
When asked about his religious background and what attracted him to Unitarian Universalism, he said:
#87 You're a dick.
#87 Seriously, this is the comment you make after watching that wonderful video? Total dick.
Please forgive my cynicism and/or skepticism, but I have to wonder why he didn't have a wife and children at an earlier age.
Sheesh! What kind of a thing is that to ask? What was he supposed to do, plan in advance for getting cancer at an early age? My dad didn't have kids till he was 44. He got married at 37. I never asked why. People do what they do when they're ready.