There are some things I never contemplated before, but in case you need a list to be really sure, here are
Eight Reasons You Should Keep Coke Away From Your Vagina. Heed them!
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There are some things I never contemplated before, but in case you need a list to be really sure, here are
Eight Reasons You Should Keep Coke Away From Your Vagina. Heed them!
Unfortunately, it's all the vaginas that are currently staying well away from my coke.
I've used coke to get near vaginas befor.... OHHHH you mean coca-cola.
nevermind.
Actually I've found coca-cola works pretty well if you add vodka or rum to it first.
I'd be more inclined to keep Dr. Pepper at arm's length.
We joke about this but wait until Mississippi starts requiring this list to be stamped on their science textbooks.
I didn't get the reference in your title at first (I'm English) and I thought you were talking about cocaine. Until I read the article I thought "Women are trying to delay orgasm? We just can't bloody win!"
It could become the Vatican's new approved method of birth control.
sweet spaghetti monster. This is scary stuff!
Information = power.
Or in this case, disturbing mental imagery.
Now while I realize that Coke bottles have been used to replace the real real thing (evidence is on the internet if you really need to see it), I'd never really considered it might be used as a replacement for Summer's Eve or a "morning after" douche.
Hmm... putting a fluid containing sugar in a place that's already warm and moist (and letting it seep into areas that are difficult at best to clean) seems like a good way to get a bacterial infection.
Has anyone tried 7UP ?
2 girls, 1 coke bottle?
Snopes, which has an entire section devoted to "cokelore," says that coke "has little or no spermacidal effect." The recommended use for Coke™ as a contraceptive "is to use it to wash down your daily birth control pills."
Has anyone tried 7UP ?
I hear Snow White may have given it a go.
You win PZ.
I've heard of lots of weird birth control methods (as I told my kids, standing does not work!), but this one makes my nether regions cringe.
PZ, that was so funny you made Coke shoot out my... um... never mind.
Cruithne @ #14 FTW!
A little late to help Bristol and Levi.
Mountain Dewche?
I'm always getting mouths and vaginas confused,.
Ha ha! Did you know that Dr. Anderson actually won a 2008 ignobel for that research?
Mango juice makes a tasty lubricant.
Does this still happen? If the blogger felt the need to post this entry, that would imply that this information still needs to be disseminated. I'd like to say people can't be THAT stupid anymore, but having grown up under a mother who worked at Planned Parenthood for many years, I know that they can in fact be much stupider.
"Unfortunately, it's all the vaginas that are currently staying well away from my coke."
Me too. I'd stop keeping my cases under the bed, but I live in a studio and there's no other place to put them.
Coke really does work!!!
You just squeeze the bottle between your knees.
'disseminated' - *smirk*
Yes, people can be this stupid.
9. Coke will make vazhin hang like sleeve of wizard's robe.
Yes, people can be this stupid. Especially when they get their sex education from ignorant peers behind the bicycle shed. Proper sex education matters.
Oh wait, do US schools even have bicycle sheds? Behind the bleachers, perhaps.
I actually prefer Pepsi to Coke, since it pleases my sweet tooth more, but it doesn't appear to matter, since my vagina is missing! Hmm. Now where did I put it? It must be around her somewhere! Say, what's this ... ?
Oh.
@26
Damn. You beat me to it.
Then what are those cups in that sidebar ad for?
Slightly off topic...
I worked as a line cook for a Mexican restaurant...one afternoon one of my many minions decided to attend the ladies as a matter of some urgency.....she had been salsa preping with red chillies...she neglected to wash the mits before the resolution... which subsequently was revealed to be a matter of sanitary hygiene ...I can still here the screams when I close my eyes ;-)
I'm not sure how I survived to adulthood without Pharyngula to guide me...
Old joke:
Parishioner to Pastor: "Is there a church approved method of birth control?"
Pastor: "Of course - lemonade."
Parishioner: "Before or after?"
Pastor: "instead"
I never thought of other than oral applications before.
Fortunately there are tireless heros out there who do this kind of research so you don't have to.
Next week: vegetables and your anus.
And all this time I had bought into the slogan "Things Go Better With Coke".
Zeno
"actually prefer Pepsi to Coke, since it pleases my sweet tooth"
Seems like your taking the long way. To the tooth I mean.
Blondin
"Next week: vegetables and your anus."
Next week: vegetables and Uranus.
Made it sound more sciency.
So this is why I'm not getting any action. I drink coke zero.
What about Mountain Dew? Carbon dating reveals that Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TthHltjrvA
This is a good idea for a post, actually, because one of my friends still believes coke is good for douching. She believes all kinds of other things, too, like you can tell if someone's a virgin by looking at their face. People can be very naive.
I wonder when the FDA will force the soft drink industry to include warnings not to use said drink as birth control?
Coke won't stop you from becoming pregnant, but rum and Coke often lead to the opposite.
I can't believe no one suggested "Squirt."
Only because we all know about the magical properties of grapefruit...
When I was in college I had a girlfriend who had heard that Coke was a great clitoral stimulate and was determined to give it try. I voiced my skepticism but she insisted and proceeded to apply some on her coffee bean in my presence with visions of erotic fireworks.
As we proceeded to explore various amorous activities I asked her if she could feel any difference. She pulled back eyes wide and blurted out "I can't feel anything anymore!". It was at that moment I could feel the numbness growing on my tounge.
I still laugh when I remember the look on her face.
spelling police:
"tongue"
#36:
Tsk, once again science tries to encroach on religion's domain.
#47
Moggie wins teh internets!
-DU-
The Science Pundit,
Turns out Prof. Anderson wrote the f/u article because she was concerned that, with all the publicity about her winning the prize, some people might actually think Coke is a valid bc method. Bwahahaha.
Try going to the bathroom after chopping habanero peppers. For a guy it can be better than Viagra. I doubt though that any woman that came into contact with it would appreciate it as much, considering the sensitivity of that part, so you're probably better off not trying it.
so THAT'S what the sexy straight-laced Melbourne newsreader and the fossil-fuelled rockstar were doing....
Now it makes perfect sense
Re MartinM @97 -
First they came for the neo-platonists...
Ooops, sorry. Opera Mini is not any substitute for a real browser.
Oh Please, we expect better tripe than this from our favorite blogger. Now if an ID/Creationist found a new life form in a bottle of coke. That would be something to blog about. Or some self-replicating molecules of some sort. hmmm. On the other hand @#20 might have made it all worth it. Carry on.
Coke really does work!!!
You just squeeze the bottle between your knees.
My Mother used to say soemthing simmilar about an asprin.... and ya know, if you really want to you can work around that with good effects.
There's a whole page of coke myths out there.
Oh, and the TV show "Mythbusters" did a segment on sodapop as spermicide. They added generic cola drink to sperm samples and counted the motile sperm. Turns out the cola drink was worse than the sterile saline solution they used as a control.
I note however that they did not blind the test, and so there's a mark against them. but then... it's television, and I don't expect too much.
I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned the good ole Fugs who rhapsodized about the virtues of Coke over 40 years ago (NSFW!!!): http://tinyurl.com/ayqr79
Back in hippie times, we used it as a backstop for when the Saran Wrap™ failed: http://tinyurl.com/98m82v
The way it was supposed to work, one would pop the cap of a warm bottle of Coke, put your thumb over the top, give it a quick shake, then plug it in and let the "foaming action" do the job. This was before there were Mentos. I never trusted it, and I sure was glad I wasn't a girl!
Wow. I am perpetually astounded at these things which just never would have occurred to me...I must not be hanging out with the right crowd.
I agree with #29 Cath the C.C.
The idea of coke as birth control is completely stupid but this was a popular notion back in the day when sex education in some areas was laughable (kinda like today) and abortions weren't an option.
#55 As long as one can bend over, that doesn't work...
I've never been a big fan of soda. Now I've got a picture in my mind that should scar me for life. Thanks in advance for the fewer cavities and health problems.
#47 Moggie wasn't kidding.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1876886.ece
My health science instructor in junior college (about forty years ago) actually lectured on the Coke douche in class. While we grimaced and squirmed in our seats, he calmly described popping the bottle cap, using the thumb to keep the bottle sealed while shaking vigorously, and then inserting the bottle for some fizzy lavage of the vaginal passage. Now do take some care, girls, because the bottle is made out of glass, you know!
We all wanted to die. The health sci instructor, by the way, was also the head of our PE department, where he undoubtedly lectured the men's sports teams on noncarbonated precious bodily fluids.
I actually heard about this in college. The student government (then called Community Council) put out a publication every year of helpful tips for incoming freshmen, including information about birth control. Douching with Coke was listed under "methods that don't work" (along with jumping up and down after sex).
Odd that they completely failed to mention the greatest risk of Coka-cola douching: vagina dentata cavities
I've heard about this, but I always filed it as an urban legend. Has anyone actually tried using soda for birth control? I'm talking documented cases, not "I heard about some chick in my cousin's high school tried it."
-jcr
Well, duh. Everyone knows that THINGS go better with coke!
I'm with you donna.
Im with the naked bunny here,mouths,vaginas,who can keep up??
As to Mountain Dew,there's evidence of its application for birth control available on G images,if one g'd it with the filter off....Just sayin'.
NSFW and all LOL
Honestly, who could ever think that was a good idea?
Never planned on putting coke anywhere near my vagina, but thanks for the extra incentive to stick to that plan.
You are doing it wrong. To be really effective (and pretty spectacular, I'm sure) you need to insert a Mentos, too.
Shoot, thanks for tellin' me!
No wonders I gots 10 kids.