Episode LVI: Who knew gaydar was so easy?

We've taking a little tour through Europe lately, and you know what that means: grab your rentboy and sing along.

Keep on chatting. Long strokes, please.

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@Stephen Wells:

Would I be able to cook Nigella Express stuff in the smallest kitchen in the world?

Cerberus,
Congratulations. There are two types of theses--those that are done and those that are not. You now have the type that is infinitely preferable.

On the Igor thing, I think it really depends on how hog-assed loco you are. I only recently got my first Igor, but a "colleague" who is about two tacos shy of a combo plate has had one for years. No justice.

By a_ray_in_dilbe… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Gives a rousing one-man ovation to Cerberus. Congratulations!

By Nerd of Redhead, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

On the topic of cooking. I love cooking. I look forward to living with other people again so that I can splurge and have an excuse to cook really elaborate dishes (like paella) and not feel really guilty about it (plus I can pass on the dish-washing duties to someone else).

For beginners, it's not that hard to get into.

Pasta and rice are the good beginning dishes. Rice is really simple. Put in a knuckle or so of water, bring to boil, put on lowest setting for 20 minutes, take off heat for ten, fluff and serve.

Beyond that, sauteed vegetables are a good experiment food for combinations and spices. Take some oil, put it in a skillet, throw on a mix of chopped vegetables or even frozen vegetables, cook it on medium, experiment with some spices, see what comes up.

For tiny kitchens, these have been some of the dishes, I've been playing with for something not to extravagant. Carne Asada. Take some beef, a bell pepper, and an onion, chop up the vegetables, sautee until meat is brown, drain the fat, add some mexican seasoning (I use new mexican chili powder), put in a flour or corn tortilla, add some sauce or some lettuce and tomatoes, golden.

Chicken ala King is good too if you have a pan. There are some recipes online for that. Ratatouille is a great vegetarian dish that's reasonably quick to make as are falafel.

There's also this site for the science minded that's really good at breaking down the steps of various dishes for you and make them easy to follow.

One hint though. For any recipe, do all the chopping first and then cook. It's much easier to keep track of the dish when you aren't trying to cut the vegetables at the same time.

@Kevin: if you've got a burner, a grill, and an oven, and your cookware will fit them, then yes. Her stuff isn't particularly fiddly.

Congratulations to Cerberus!

By Stephen Wells (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I have an electric stove and oven. Don't have a grill, tho - I might get a George Foreman in the future.

Also, rule of thumb, any dish, garlic or onion probably makes it more flavorful. The aromatic vegetables are a big source of flavor and can also make a dish seem more filling. A simple vegetable sautee with an onion or garlic on some pasta with either a meat sauce (browned beef in marinara) or straight up marinara is probably going to taste really good.

And thanks everyone for the congratulations. Now it's time to enjoy the fuck out of the surrounding nature (it's cherry blossom season here in Denmark. The two weeks to a month of the year where it isn't just green, it's fucking gorgeous, flowering trees everywhere, explosions of color).

Basically, me and my camera are going to enjoy.

@Cerberus:

Have fun - I'm stuck at work til 4 PM.

My experience is that most people who do like onions object to the texture rather than the taste. A way round that is to blitz a peeled onion in a blender until smooth.

A number of Indian recipes call for onions to be blended to a paste with garlic and ginger.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Matt Penfold:

I love onions, but I can't cut them because I get hit really hard by the acids.

I love onions, but I can't cut them because I get hit really hard by the acids.

Have you tried frying them really slowly, either sliced or puréed ? It will take an hour or more over a really low heat but they ended up really sweet.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Congratulations, Cerberus.

All that good worrying just went to waste.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I love onions, but I can't cut them because I get hit really hard by the acids.

Ammonia as far as I know

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I cannot parse the concept of "not liking onions". They are what food is made of!

Enter kitchen. Chop onions. Decide what to cook :)

By Stephen Wells (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Oh, and I should add, start with a sweet onion.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Rev. BDC:

Sulfuric acid, actually.

@Matt Penfold:

Oh, it's not the cooking that's the problem, it's the preparation. I cut an onion, and I'm off whimpering like a baby for ten minutes afterwards. Doesn't matter how sharp my knife is, I've cut them with a completely sharpened, new knife and still it hurts.

Oh, it's not the cooking that's the problem, it's the preparation. I cut an onion, and I'm off whimpering like a baby for ten minutes afterwards. Doesn't matter how sharp my knife is, I've cut them with a completely sharpened, new knife and still it hurts.

Stick them in the freezer for 25 mins before you prepare them.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Congrats to Cerberus on the Masters, and a high-five for Kevin, for snapping another of religion's chains.

@cicely:

Thanks. It's kind of rough to be in the situation I'm in, but I imagine I'm not the first bisexual person to have to deal with an incredibly conservative Christian family.

@Rev. BDC:
Sulfuric acid, actually.

Well sure as shit you're right. All this time I thought it was ammonia.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Rev BDC:

Don't think too much of it. I watched the episode of Good Eats last night that dealt with Onion Soup. That Alton Brown guy sure knows his stuff.

Don't think too much of it. I watched the episode of Good Eats last night that dealt with Onion Soup. That Alton Brown guy sure knows his stuff.

Yeah, the wife and I affectionately refer to him as "the dork". Never anything too adventurous (though he does have a broad knowledge of styles) in his cooking, but he really gets to the science of it.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Alton Brown is a personal hero of mine! Watching Good Eats has given me the insight to get my omelette-Zen flowing.

By Weed Monkey (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Who has two thumbs and just got her Master's Degree in Biology?

...

Wonder when I get my first Igor?

So you have have two thumbs on each hand? Or can only the Igors and Igorinas have that?

Congratulations.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Rev BDC:

That's what I like a lot about him. He really does help a lot with a person like me. Understanding the science behind cooking actually makes it easier for me to adapt styles.

@Weed Monkey:

Me too. Good Eats is my favorite Food Network program.

Congrats, Cerberus! As was said, undone theses are the worst kind.

I cooked a ridiculous amount of food last night. Thought I might as well fill the oven (and empty the fridge before the veggies spoiled). Whether they go together I'm not sure.

Cauliflower gratin.
Steamed broccoli.
Baked roots: spuds, carrots, parsnips, onions and an unhealthy dollop of oil.
Baked apple sauce with bread crumbs.

Washed down with a Weißbier - only one year out of date ...

By Sili, The Unkn… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I keep a pair of old swimming goggles in the kitchen for onion-chopping. It works, and amuses annoys my daughter to no end as well.

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

It's not just YouTube. The tubes of the Internet are hopelessly clogged right now. This page just loaded incompletely 5 times in a row, and then it took forever... I now officially hate ad.xtendmedia.com.

Just finished up my thesis defense and I fucking aced it. I smashed the presentation out of the park. I was knowledgeable and on top of all of their discussions on the topic.

:-) :-) :-)

We told you so! :-)

I even asked them afterwards for specific things I could improve for future papers and presentations and they didn't really have much advice.

<mad-scientist cackling>

I wasn't even all that nervous and was able to keep my cadence normal and walk through parts that had been awkward and stilted in my run-throughs. It was even perfectly on time, taking up a little over 40 minutes of the 45.

Told you so. :-)

Wonder when I get my first Igor?

Ha! The times when biology professors were paid enough to afford as much as a secretary are long over!

salt is king, it can be the difference between a dish tasting awesome, and completely bland - if you learn to salt things right you've won more than 50% of the fight in terms of cooking

Warning: "to salt things right" means completely different things for different people. I like pretty large amounts of salt, my dad even more, my sisters less, my mum almost none, and my brother practically can't stand any (because he already gets it all through sausage, no doubt, which he munches by the kilo).

My guess is that your friends, and yourself, are right on the cusp of giving up a lot of childhood food phobias is given the right push -

I like onions as a spice, but not as a vegetable.

Cutting & frying it turns it from the latter into the former... otherwise, onion is either slimy (when fully cooked, and not cut into sufficiently small pieces) or hard and somewhat tough, not fitting the texture of the rest of the food. So, it's good when there's an onion in soup or in rice that's being cooked, but I won't eat the onion itself.

Unless the whole soup is run through a blender, taking care of all texture inhomogeneities. Carrot/onion soup is good that way.

"oh shit the recipe calls for 2 fine diced peppers to be added within the next 20 seconds and I don't even have a clean knife" moments

See, that's the first thing you learn in chemistry. :-) Read the whole recipe before you get cracking, lest you come to the place where it says "add a 38-% solution of X in Z" and then notice you don't even know where to find the Z bottle and then notice the mixture has to be slowly heated if that much X is ever supposed to dissolve in Z.

(I can't use "Y", that would be yttrium.)

On the Igor thing, I think it really depends on how hog-assed loco you are.

...psssst... loca :^)

A number of Indian recipes call for onions to be blended to a paste with garlic and ginger.

Sounds tasty :-9

Ammonia as far as I know

WTF. No, neither ammonia nor acids. (Sulfuric acid? In a living being that isn't one of those weirdo archaea that live at ph 0?!?) Really weird organic sulfur compounds are at work... sulfoxides... sulfones... disulfides... in garlic, too (more and weirder ones, AFAIK). That's also where the taste comes from, at least in part.

Stick them in the freezer for 25 mins before you prepare them.

And/or cut directly in front of a wide-open window. That makes a huge difference in my limited experience.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

That's what I like a lot about him. He really does help a lot with a person like me. Understanding the science behind cooking actually makes it easier for me to adapt styles.

Yeah, even as a person who worked as a chef (technically head line cook) in a 4 star restaurant for 7 years, he's got some good shit for sure.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

You can create some delicious dishes with commercial curry powder, but making your own curry spice mix is much more fun and the sign of a true connoisseur. No one recipe exists for curry powder. In fact, in India, the composition of a curry powder depends on the region in which it is made and what ingredients are readily available. Explore the spices that go into making curry powder to discover just what it is that draws you to that magical yellow dust.

Most curry powders include some or all of the following:

● Coriander seeds—lightly sweet with hints of citrus and mint.
● Turmeric—brightly yellow with an earthy bitterness
● Cumin—strong, earthy aroma
● Fenugreek seeds—sweet yellow seed, is almost always included in curry powder
● Ground or flake pepper (black, white, red or a combination included in most recipes)—white pepper is made from the same plant as black pepper but has a milder flavor; red pepper is made from dried chili peppers
● Mustard seed or dry mustard—sharp, distinct flavor
● Cardamom—sweet, flowery aroma
● Fennel—weaker licorice flavor than anise, slightly sweet
● Ginger—sweet and spicy, best to use fresh
● Cinnamon—sweet and flavorful
● Curry leaves—aromatic leaves typical in southern Indian curries. May be difficult to find.

Many of these spices are improved by toasting or dry frying. You can bake them in a preheated 350°F/175°C/Gas 4 oven for five to seven minutes. Or you can put them in a heavy, preheated frying pan over medium heat and stir continuously until the aroma is released (four to seven minutes).

Once you've toasted any spices you choose, you can begin composing your curry powder. Start by including the most common ingredients. I typically begin with one tablespoon each of coriander, cumin, and turmeric, as well as 1/2 tablespoon of fenugreek. Then I add a couple teaspoons each of dry mustard or mustard seeds and pepper. Usually I use red pepper flakes but sometimes I use ground black or white pepper.

At this point what I add depends on the exact taste I want. Often I use all or some of 1/2 teaspoon cardamom, 1/2 tablespoon fennel seeds
and 2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger.

If you aren't using pre-ground spices, you'll need to grind your spices to create a powder. Use one of the following items to do so. Make sure that whatever instrument you use effectively grinds the hard seed shells.

● Coffee Grinder (I use this) or
● Spice Grinder or
● Blender or
● Mortar and Pestle

Keep your curry mixture in an airtight jar. I find my curry powders are good for two months if kept in the pantry or three months if kept in the refrigerator.

Once you've made your first curry mixture, you can make different curries for different recipes. You'll find certain spices work best when currying lamb, while others are good for curried chicken. You'll need to experiment to see what you like, so keep notes.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Rev BDC:

I'm not a chef except for in my own mind, so it certainly does make it easier.

Neither ammonia nor sulfuric acid. From Wiki:

As onions are sliced or eaten, cells are broken, allowing enzymes called alliinases to break down amino acid sulphoxides and generate sulphenic acids. A specific sulfenic acid, 1-propenesulfenic acid, formed when onions are cut, is rapidly rearranged by a second enzyme, called the lachrymatory factor synthase or LFS, giving syn-propanethial-S-oxide, a volatile gas known as the onion lachrymatory factor or LF.[1] The LF gas diffuses through the air and eventually reaches the eye, where it activates sensory neurons, creating a stinging sensation. Tear glands produce tears to dilute and flush out the irritant.[21] Chemicals that exhibit such an effect on the eyes are known as lachrymatory agents.

By Nerd of Redhead, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

WTF. No, neither ammonia nor acids. (Sulfuric acid? In a living being that isn't one of those weirdo archaea that live at ph 0?!?) Really weird organic sulfur compounds are at work... sulfoxides... sulfones... disulfides... in garlic, too (more and weirder ones, AFAIK). That's also where the taste comes from, at least in part.

So is this completely wrong?

Yes I know ehow isn't a scientific site, but is it wrong?

When you cut an onion, the knife penetrates the protective barrier that keeps the onion cells intact. Some of the onion cells contain enzymes, which are responsible for chemical substance changes. Once you slice into the onion cells, they break open and release the enzymes, along with amino acid sulfoxides. These enzymes then react with amino acid sulfoxides, causing them to decompose and produce sulfenic acids. These sulfenic acids then switch their chemical arrangements and become a volatile gas, meaning it can enter the air almost immediately. This volatile gas makes its way through the air and into your eyes and undergoes another chemical change.

Once the volatile gas gets to your eyes, it combines with your eyes' natural moisture and rearranges itself into a light form of sulfuric acid and causes nerve irritation. Once the nerve endings in your eyes begin to sting, it sends a message to your brain that your eyes are irritated and need protection. Your brain then sends a message to your tear ducts to start watering, so that the sulfuric acid that is causing the irritation will wash away and keep your eyes safe. Your other natural reaction might be to wipe the tears away so you can see, but this just redistributes the sulfuric acid on your hands from touching the cut onion and moves it closer to your eyes.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Nerd of Redhead and Rev BDC:

I've seen both. I'm going by what Alton Brown says, tho.

Mattir: Could use Oklahoma places as well, if there's anything outside of the climate stuff in Norman...

Aside from whatever, the U at Norman has a kick-ass natural/cultural history museum. Say Hello to the frosted quartz-crystal cicada for me if you get there, hey?

Congratulations, Cerberus!

You know those books about childcare advice I alluded to a day or two ago? I bet one could assemble a respectably voluminous volume about How to Cut an Onion.

By ronsullivan (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I like onions as a spice, but not as a vegetable.

Cutting & frying it turns it from the latter into the former... otherwise, onion is either slimy (when fully cooked, and not cut into sufficiently small pieces) or hard and somewhat tough, not fitting the texture of the rest of the food. So, it's good when there's an onion in soup or in rice that's being cooked, but I won't eat the onion itself.

I always prefer to saute off onions first before adding anything, preferably in "spice" form as you mention - whether just sweated or fully caramelized it adds the awesome to many a dish - although I also like onion as a vegetable, upsetting my wife terribly whenever she cuts one up by stealing at least 10% as a pre-meal snack. Also keep in mind that there are lots of different onions available for different uses/palates - it may be that some of the hypersensitive folk would do better with really mild onions (not sure on this though, I tend to tear up really badly whenever I cut onions, but the end results are still worth it for me, so I'm probably not that high on the scale of eye irritation) - red onions imo are an awesome addition to a salad, in stark disagreement with my wife, which is fine by me as I end up with twice the onion any time we go out to eat.

Another possible substitute for anyone who is completely onion averse is the shallot - adds a very similar (although somewhat different) taste to the end product, but I've yet to experienece any eye irritation from cutting one. Also, if memory serves, shallots are used in a lot of fine dining resturaunts as a substitute for onion because the flavor imparted tends to give a better finished product.

Warning: "to salt things right" means completely different things for different people. I like pretty large amounts of salt, my dad even more, my sisters less, my mum almost none, and my brother practically can't stand any (because he already gets it all through sausage, no doubt, which he munches by the kilo).

Yeah it helps to know your audience - but in my experience most dishes at least need a touch of salt to get em just right, and maybe nine times out of ten the only thing needed to finish a dish is the right amount of salt - perhaps the key here as a good cook is to put in the right amount of salt to reach flavorfulness for the bulk of the audience, and then allow any halophiles to add more - also, in general, the older you get the more salt you will want to add - as tastebuds decline with age - and salt is the major factor in having flavor come through (although I have no understanding of the chemistry behind this)

Ooh, sulfenic acids, –S–O–H ... those are extra-weird! :-9

syn-propanethial-S-oxide

<nerdgasm>

CH3CH2CH(S(O))H ... just... wow.

Most curry powders include some or all of the following:

Actually, what would happen if you put some green pepper in?

So is this completely wrong?

Of course. Sulfuric acid (H2SO4) is sulfuric acid, and everything else is not sulfuric acid. I bet that thial oxide is acidic, and it contains a sulfur atom, but that's where the similarities to sulfuric acid end!

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Shallots can be a good way of getting around the problem of chopping onions, as can baby onions. Both can be used whole a lot of the time, and to peel just place in a bowl, pour over boiling water and leave for a few minutes. The skins can then be easily removed just by rubbing.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Matt Penfold:

I just remembered a delicious dish I make often with baby onions. It needs... something, though. Unfortunately I haven't got the recipe on me right now. I think it needs a sauce. It's got chorizo and baby onions, but the sauce always comes out a little thin... should I make a roux?

I'll never get over "a light form of sulfuric acid"... :-)

I also like onion as a vegetable, upsetting my wife terribly whenever she cuts one up by stealing at least 10% as a pre-meal snack

...he... eats... onion... raw... <faint>

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

recipe: lazy mom's beef stew

You need: a quantity of stew beef, a like quantity of red potatoes, and a like quantity of carrots. Onions and mushrooms are optional.

cut the potatoes and carrots into chunks about the same size as the stew beef is. Put the potatoes at the bottom of a crock pot. Layer the carrots around the side to make a well in the middle.

dredge the stew beef in flour and a quantity of Lawrey's seasoned salts and Mrs. Dash garlic and herb spice. Brown the beef in olive oil. put in crock pot in the well of other veg (putting root veg on the bottom and sides of the crock pot allow them to cook faster so your beef doesn't over cook).

deglaze the pan you browned the beef in with a bottle of beer - the darker and chewier the better (Guiness is a perennial favorite) and pour over the food in the crock pot. Add one envelope of Lipton's Onion Soup Secrets.

if you're adding additional onions and mushrooms, saute them in the beef browning pan, and layer on top of everything else in the crockpot.

If you like such things, you can add rutabaga or turnip cut into pieces at the same time you add the potatoes.

cook on medium for hours - 4-6 usually, until the root veg are tender.

we made this for dinner the other night, figuring on left overs for the next day, and DH and the kids ate it all! so they had to scrounge for frozen burritos and canned chili the next day.

By Becca, the Mai… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

...he... eats... onion... raw...

Quite a shift from being incapable of eating anything that I knew had onion in it (regardless of how cooked) 15 years ago - I use this as my justification now to retry foods I "hate" every couple of years just to make sure - totally changed my mind on fish in the same period of time, and have shifted slightly on mushrooms (these still have to be heavily disguised before I can face them) - another rule to live by is any time you're eating a ridiculously expensive meal - try and get something you'd never try, because more often than not a great chef can change your mind (at least for an hour or so) - I've promised myself to at least attempt some form of organ meat next time I'm dropping over $30 on a single plate (in a non-chain setting).

I've promised myself to at least attempt some form of organ meat next time I'm dropping over $30 on a single plate (in a non-chain setting).

I can do offal, at least in the form of liver and kidneys.

I do not like Brussels Sprouts but I could eat them if not to do so would be impolite. Likewise with raw peppers, or cooked peppers unless it is a roasted red pepper.

The food I cannot stand, and makes me feel sick, is celery but only if it is identifiable. Use it a base in a soup or stew and and I am OK with it.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Congratulations, Cerberus! We knew you could do it. :)

I cannot parse the concept of "not liking onions". They are what food is made of!
Enter kitchen. Chop onions. Decide what to cook

You're speaking my language. I don't care for onions raw, but cooked all to hell until caramelized they go into everything. My mother never cooked with onions, as she belonged to the Marge Simpson culinary school of thought*, but once I discovered them there was no looking back.

* see The mysterious voyage of Homer, where Marge is perplexed at a spice rack that holds more than three things and has no idea what "or-e-GAH-no" is.

Matt @#544 - concur on celery (although recently ate visible, highly cooked celery in a pot roast without too much problem), and did concur on brussels sprouts until a couple of years ago, vaguely remembered recipe follows:-

Remove outer leaves and cut sprouts in two.

Blanche the sprout halves for a couple of minutes in boiling water - not enough to really soften them up, but enough that they look vibrantly green.

Secret step towards awesome - cut up a bunch of bacon into 1/2" strips and saute until they start to get crispy (what doesn't bacon improve?)

Add sprouts and saute whole lot until you get some browning on the sprouts

Hit with a dash of apple cider vinegar (makes the flavor pop)

Serve

Until I tried this I always thought sprouts were essentially something you boiled the buggery out of resulting in mushy goo that tasted not unlike farts. Having 3 siblings and busy parents is something which I believe has a great capacity to ruin food for long periods of time.

Most curry powders include some or all of the following:

Actually, what would happen if you put some green pepper in?

You'd have curry powder with green pepper in it. That list was not all inclusive. If you want to put green pepper in your curry powder then go for it. Tell me how it tasted.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Congratulations echoed here as well, Cerberus!

Well done.

I love green chili in my curry. I love green chilies in general. Although not the ones that have that bell pepper taste.

I like hot peppers but I HATE bell peppers.

Yuck.

Although I've had them prepared in such a way I found them tasty.

...he... eats... onion... raw...

So do I

Is that weird?

What about red onion on a sandwich or burger?

Or in salsa?

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

...he... eats... onion... raw...

My brother used to eat sandwiches made using a cross-sectional onion slice, about 1/2" thick, between two slices of bread, with Miracle Whip(TM).

We never did get the smell (or the taste!) out of the contrabass' mouthpiece....

Miracle Whip?

Someone should never stop slapping him.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

My brother used to eat sandwiches made using a cross-sectional onion slice, about 1/2" thick, between two slices of bread, with Miracle Whip(TM).

Ugh. The thought of this made me feel ill.

I like some onion, even a little sliced raw in a salad is fine, perfectly good in some salsa.

But... miracle whip, and bread, and onion... wow. That is a pungent mix. Why not add fish sauce too?

Or some week old chevre.

When I was in HS a girl I knew loved a recipe her dad called, descriptively, "bananamush." It consisted of equal parts banana, peanut butter, and (I shit you not) Miracle Whip.

They were from the deep south. That's how I excused it to myself at least (sorry true southerners). I did try some once to be polite.

It was... mushy, salty, and mostly tasted of banana and peanut butter. But I could tell that miracle whip was in there, that retro tang... ugh.

More Cerberus congratulations!
Where should I mail myself to interview to be The Igor?

And some Walton congratulations as well!
I concur with most of the advice about trying spices and aromatic stuff (such as onions, shallots, leeks, and garlic). Other highly useful flavours are MUSHROOMS!—Ok, ok, I'm just a little bit fanatic….

And, as has been pointed out, proper cookware is a brilliant investment (I myself still have, and use daily, the All-Clad set (which I've since added to) purchased at least 25 years ago). Somewhat related, learning to stir-fry (it's actually rather easy, just don't let your attention wander!) is an extremely useful skill.

Kevin,

More awkward because I am bisexual...

Oh, hi guys! I decided to stop being idiotic about 'I'm attracted to guys, but not attracted to them in that way' and embrace the fact that I'm not hetero. I like guys, I like girls, and that's that. Silly Christianity, forcing me to be someone I'm not.

By sheer coincidence, I'm in a similar situation. In fact, I was debating with myself yesterday as to whether to post about it here. But since you have, I guess I can tell the truth too.

I've gradually come to terms over the last year with the fact that I'm not exclusively heterosexual. (I've dropped subtle hints to this effect here before, which some people seem to have picked up.) I was in denial for a long time about my feelings. But I've come to be honest with myself about the fact that I'm attracted, physically and romantically, to men as well as women.

Only a few of my close friends know this irl, and I'm still debating whether, and when, to tell my family and other people the truth.

On one level, I guess I don't need to be open about it: I have neither a boyfriend nor a girlfriend and no prospect of acquiring either, so my sexual orientation affects no one but myself. But on another level, it's kind of liberating to be honest, with myself and with other people, about who I really am.

Sorry if this is veering into "oh-no-not-another-thread-about-Walton's-perpetual-identity-crises" territory... but I guess that's just how I am. But I'm happier, for what it's worth, than I've been in a long time. Accepting one's own identity is an important step to happiness.

Lots of Miracle Whip(TM). Drooling with it.

Congratulations, Cerberus.

And sorry to all about the personal tangent of mine at #555. I should try to remember that the endless thread isn't my personal diary, blog or therapy session. :-)

But I'm oddly happy, in real life and now here, since I told the truth.

Welcome out, Walton.

By Sili, The Unkn… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Lots of Miracle Whip(TM). Drooling with it.

Miracle Whip is in my mind akin to Ranch [anything], though Miracle Whip occupies it's own special place in one of the lower circles of hell.

They are the illiterate red headed step cousin of real food.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

And a high-five for Walton, as well. :)

oh damn you

DAMN YOU CHIMPY CURSE

its

not it's

/shame

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Congrats Walton!

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Walton:

Yeah, that's kind of where I am now. I don't really need to come out to my family since I've not got a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If it happens, it'll happen and I'll have to tell them then. I may let my sister know - since the two of us are very close - because I think she'll be a lot more accepting than my parents (especially my father.)

But like you said:

Accepting one's own identity is an important step to happiness.

I am finding this to be so incredibly true. I have never felt quite like I do now. The years I spent with myself, pretending like I wasn't who I was only left me with anxiety and a kind of trapped feeling.

I've accepted that I'm bisexual, and I'm more happy now than I was before I accepted this.

I don't really need to come out to my family since I've not got a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If it happens, it'll happen and I'll have to tell them then. I may let my sister know - since the two of us are very close - because I think she'll be a lot more accepting than my parents (especially my father.)

I may well tell my family the truth when I next talk to them in person. They're Christian, but pretty liberal and non-homophobic, and I think they'll be okay with it, in due course.

But on another level, it's kind of liberating to be honest, with myself and with other people, about who I really am.

Yes it really is, isn't it?

Similarly affecting no one here, but nice to know for myself :P In my case I'm old and no one in my family would care, or is alive to care, and if they were I'd be fine without them anyway.

Yet it's still nice to say to myself that I've defined some truth about me.

Congrats on being more comfortable with yourself. As people get to know the real you I think you will find your loneliness dissolved by it.

Brava Cerberus!

Here is the key to the blog bar, go wild.

Meh... I just realized how awkward that is. Probably there are others here who are not close enough to their family members to make that kind of discussion even relevant?

Or maybe it's just me.

I'm closer to my coworkers :( And they're legally required not to care.

@Cerberus - congratulations on a successful defense (not that anyone had the slightest doubt)!

@Matt Penfold - I think you're right it's the texture, not the flavor, that bothers people about onions. Although as Carlie notes, the flavor is quite strong when they're raw (and I don't like that either.)

Pureeing them, or mincing them and cooking them down until they're a paste is a great way to get rid of the texture problem. Onions are an indispensable flavoring in so many dishes; your friends who "don't like onions" would likely miss the flavor in a curry, even if they didn't know why.

@Kevin and Walton - congratulations on coming out/to terms. Though I was very young when I came out to myself and family, I remember the extraordinary sense of relief and well-being it gave me.

@Walton in particular - you'll forgive me if I tell you I'm totally not surprised, and was really just waiting to have my suspicions confirmed. :-)

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@Walton:

I never really thought my father would be as homophobic as he is. I took his little off-color jokes back then for jokes, but having heard his reasoning to be against gay marriage, it's really scary to me to think what he'll say if he finds out.

But I'm happier, for what it's worth, than I've been in a long time. Accepting one's own identity is an important step to happiness.

I'd long "suspected", and I'm sure I wasn't alone, but it wasn't my, or anyone else's, business to speculate - so we didn't :)

I have neither a boyfriend nor a girlfriend and no prospect of acquiring either

Now you've accepted who you are you'll be more relaxed and natural about the whole relationship/dating thing, so don't give up hope.

I may well tell my family the truth when I next talk to them in person.

Good luck. I'm sure it'll be fine. Your mum will probably say she knew years ago :)

By Ring Tailed Lemurian (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I've gradually come to terms over the last year with the fact that I'm not exclusively heterosexual.

There it is, folks, proof positive that Walton is not Ted Haggard or George Rekers.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Kevin:

Oh, hi guys! I decided to stop being idiotic about 'I'm attracted to guys, but not attracted to them in that way' and embrace the fact that I'm not hetero. I like guys, I like girls, and that's that.

Congrats on coming out of the closet, Kevin! Welcome to the biclub.

Cerberus:

Who has two thumbs and just got her Master's Degree in Biology?

This girl.

Congratulations!

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Kevin and Walton - Accepting and understanding yourself is great and congratulations. Hope these are only the first steps of a long life of discovery of the worlds without and the worlds within.

Gads, I sound like a fucking Hallmark card. I have successfully icked out myself. Time to go puke, and I made such a nice Basmati rice and Tikka chicken meal. Ah well, least it will regurgitate easily.

(TMI?)

This thread has become an orgy of congratulations. I want in!

Congrats to Cerberus for your thesis and congrats to Walton and Kevin for being out!

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

There's a lot happening in the thread. I don't think I'll be able to catch up on all of it, but some congratulations are in order so I'll pop in long enough for that.

Cerberus: Congrats on the degree! That's wonderful.

Kevin & Walton: Congrats on realizing and accepting who you are. I won't pretend to know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I do know firsthand that learning to be comfortable with oneself can be very challenging, and very liberating (and it's no on/off thing - it's a process).

OH MY GOD I WANT TO STRANGLE THIS REPRESENTATIVE! How hard is it to understand "hi, I would like the $70 government rate for a room"?
'We have rooms at $101 a night.'
"No, $70. I have to get that rate or I can't stay."
'$101 is the discounted rate.'
"No, the government rate."

Walton:

But I'm happier, for what it's worth, than I've been in a long time. Accepting one's own identity is an important step to happiness.

That it is, congrats on coming out. :)

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Can it be sheer coincidence that a thread about gaydar confirmed Josh's abilities in that area?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Who has two thumbs and just got her Master's Degree in Biology?

This girl.

Cerberus' hand.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Thanks for the congrats everyone and thanks for everyone's comments especially last night. Your words of calm the fuck down helped me just focus, extend the presentation where needed and really just get in the right headspace to kick serious ass.

So thank you everyone.

And man was it beautiful out there. Walked around the downtown area and a little of the Botanical Gardens just taking pictures until I ran out of batteries. Right now, I'm cooking up a nice japanese curry (last box of my smuggled Mitsuwa supply, just the right occasion) and I've got a Guinness or four waiting for me to have with dinner (meant to go follow up on a lead and get a bottle or two of Gudløs but I forgot). Should be a good time.

To Kevin and Walton, being out to one's self is it's own reward. It can be rough with parents and society sometimes, but never as bad as you pictured it before. My partner is bisexual herself and from a socially conservative family (catholics, need I say more). I know how it can often feel in that place.

It took courage to come out to yourself and to those of us online and you should take comfort in that no matter what else. You have cleared a huge hurdle in understanding yourself and proving your bravery in this world. In short, you're both people to be proud of.

And I'm proud to have you as queer family.

And if anyone gives you any trouble I'll kidnap them and use them for experiments that go against the laws of God and man, because that's what the degree says I can*.

*Note: Degree may not actually say I can do that.

Um, not to derail the congratulations train (seriously) but I'd like to see what the general consensus here is on this ruling.

The US Supreme Court on Monday upheld a law allowing the federal government to detain "sexually dangerous" prisoners indefinitely after they have served their sentence.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

JeffreyD:

Gads, I sound like a fucking Hallmark card.

There are much worse things. I've always found that positive acknowledgment is the best thing for those freshly coming out. It can be a tough time, and knowing people accept them for who they are can go a long way to shoring them up in hard times and potentially awkward situations. So, ya did good.

Basmati rice

*drool* I better have some in the cupboard, I want some now.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Rev, bad ruling is my first response. And my second, and my third. Now I need to research it a bit.

There are much worse things.

This is true. I, for instance, have the end song from Portal stuck in my head. Looping endlessly.

And I left my headphones at home today.

So I'm stuck with the earworm.

Bah! I just opened tonight's vin (an interesting looking Chianti I found in the local Italian café (who do quite good café's)), sniffed it, gave it a swirl, was about to taste—and dropped the fecking glass.

Well, it happens.

'cept, that was my last wine glass. So now I'm drinking the vin out of a jar approximately the right shape (but a bit small volume-wise).

Grumble grumble grumble… At least there's MUSHROOMS! in tonight's dinner (a chicken-curry risotto). And the vin's Ok.

I think I need to set a few kittens on fire.

The US Supreme Court on Monday upheld a law allowing the federal government to detain "sexually dangerous" prisoners indefinitely after they have served their sentence.

Shit. On first impression, this is really not looking good. (I'll have to read the case properly in a few weeks once I've done finals.)

As a law student, and as a consistent defender of the role of the judiciary in protecting human rights, it really personally irks me when judges jump on the "tough on crime" bandwagon and abdicate their responsibility to protect basic civil liberties.

And the fact that Elena Kagan was able to argue this case as Solicitor-General does not speak well of her personal commitment to civil liberties. (Yes, I know the S-G has to argue the federal government's position rather than her own. But if I were in her position, I would have resigned in principle - some time ago, in fact - rather than argue for some of the illiberal positions taken by Obama and the DoJ over the last couple of years.)

Obama should have nominated (Court of Appeals Judge) Diane Wood, who has a real and demonstrated commitment to individual civil liberties - and, having a strong judicial record, is also objectively a better candidate. It's disappointing, and does not say much for Obama's commitment to judicial independence, that he is choosing to nominate a loyal and uncritical member of his administration to the Court rather than someone with genuine independent credentials.

(Though I would add that this is certainly not comparable to Bush's nomination of Harriet Miers, before anyone makes the comparison. Miers was completely unqualified for any judicial office, and her nomination was nothing short of a joke. Kagan, by contrast, is a leading legal scholar with a strong academic track-record and is very much qualified for judicial office. But I just think that a Supreme Court nominee should be someone with serious judicial experience and a proven track-record on constitutional issues.)

Rev. BDC's link:

The court had previously ruled that similar state statutes did not violate due process.

Hmmm. Seems to me it does violate due process. If someone is sentenced to life without the possibility of parole, fine, they aren't getting out. If someone is sentenced with full expectation of a release date, you shouldn't be able to keep them locked up on suspicion of future crime. Of course, our penal system is an abysmal mess, there's a whole lot wrong with it.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Kevin says, "I never really thought my father would be as homophobic as he is. I took his little off-color jokes back then for jokes, but having heard his reasoning to be against gay marriage, it's really scary to me to think what he'll say if he finds out."

Or... maybe you'll be the catalyst for him to grow. That is after all the only test for being fully human--whether we can grow. You (and Walton) have taken a big step in that direction. Your courage may help others to grow as well.

By a_ray_in_dilbe… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Rev, bad ruling is my first response. And my second, and my third. Now I need to research it a bit.

Same reaction I had. I need more info.

And don't miss who was arguing the government's position.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Seems to me it does violate due process

Seems so in a big way? I'm either confused by what is really meant by the ruling or this is quite wrong. The answer is to determine during trial better sentences for convicted criminals, not to arbitrarily go back in order to decide who should be held until further notice? And who is determining what is and isn't dangerous?

@... well, everyone:

Thanks for the words of congratulations and encouragement. I don't think it's really a big surprise to anyone who knows me all that much. I am pretty much the most domestic man I know (I sew and cook.) Plus, I'm rather a-masculine. One could almost call me feminine.

Ol'Greg:

So I'm stuck with the earworm.

Aargh. I had an earworm a couple of days ago, of all things, a popular song from my very early childhood days - King of the Road, by Roger Miller. (The unedited version, complete with that oh-so-terrible line ain't got no cigarettes.)

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Caine, Fleur du mal, thanks. Since, well, since a big loss a few years ago, I have a tendency to get over emotional some times. I really cannot always tell if it is too much. My Bravos for Kevin and Walton were sincere, just felt I was a little...well, icky is the best word. :^}

Basmati is always good. Texmati is pretty good too. What I cannot find where I am now is Himalayan Red rice (lots of other names) or Wild Rice (yes, I know it is not really rice) both of which I use often and miss terribly.

Ol'Greg, you won't thank me, but let Don't Worry, Be Happy into your head and it will drive out Portal. (ducks and runs for cover)

Can it be sheer coincidence that a thread about gaydar confirmed Josh's abilities in that area?

In all fairness, Walton's been pretty blatant with the hints in the past. The only outstanding question was whether he also liked women.

Yea bisexuality!

When I was in HS a girl I knew loved a recipe her dad called, descriptively, "bananamush." It consisted of equal parts banana, peanut butter, and (I shit you not) Miracle Whip.

With only the banana and peanut butter, it's a great sandwich filling. Mmmmm.

Ok more info is that this isn't about the government's right to indefinitely hold sexual offenders, but the Federal government's right to overrule the states' right to do so.

And Scalia's point, as to be expected, is fully a State's rights and limit of federal powers position.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@JefferyD and Ol'Greg:

I use either Eric Clapton's Layla (acoustic only) or Avenged Sevenfold's Bat Country to get songs out of my head. The first because it's mellow, the second because it FUCKING ROCKS!

Ol'Greg:

I'm either confused by what is really meant by the ruling or this is quite wrong.

Right now this is ringing all the *seriously wrong* buttons. I want to read more.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Walton's been pretty blatant with the hints in the past

I... didn't think they were hints. Not so much hints as statements.

If they were meant to be subtle then I feel rather bad because in my tendency for amazingly frank terms I may have made him uncomfortable.

My apologies if it is so!

Sorry, linky

Trying to track down the actual dissent, but my google-fu is weak today

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

If they were meant to be subtle then I feel rather bad because in my tendency for amazingly frank terms I may have made him uncomfortable.

My apologies if it is so!

Not at all. In fact, by interpreting my not-so-subtle hints correctly, you helped me to feel more comfortable discussing this.

I've wanted to talk about this properly on Pharyngula for ages. But I felt I shouldn't come out on the internet until I'd talked to some of my close friends in real life - which I have now done, and am happy with. And the fact that Kevin was brave enough to tell the truth today made me feel that it was appropriate, at this juncture, for me to do so as well.

Thank you to everyone for the kind comments.

All in all, it's been a very good couple of days. :-)

@Walton:

So we can be coming out buddies, I guess *hehe*

I use either Eric Clapton's Layla (acoustic only) or Avenged Sevenfold's Bat Country to get songs out of my head. The first because it's mellow, the second because it FUCKING ROCKS!

Yeah... after reading this post, I just listened to the acoustic version of Layla. Awesome.

Of course, most Clapton songs are awesome. "Tears in Heaven" is very powerful and often makes me cry a little bit.

In all fairness, Walton's been pretty blatant with the hints in the past. The only outstanding question was whether he also liked women.

I guess I'm just dense then.

No surprise there.

By Sili, The Unkn… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Really, I should check in on this thread more often. I just dropped in to share this video by D.C. Douglas about why you shouldn't drunk dial FreedomWorks to ask them what percentage of their base is mentally retarded (his words), but I see I'm going to have to drop that idea to congratulate everyone on coming to terms with their sexuality and/or theses.

Congratulations, Walton, Kevin, and Cerberus!

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I thought I might come here to do some handwringing about homophobes in the news but scratch that; instead, I'm happily surprised to see that we've had two regulars come out as bisexual. Kevin and Walton, cheers to both of you! You have brightened my day. I still remember how good it felt to throw off the pretense of total straightness and just be true to myself and open about it with my friends.

And a Hip Hip Hooray to Cerberus for completing the Master's Degree!

By aratina cage (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Well, maybe it's just the stereotypic Formula 1 car, and not any particular driver... few people are as well informed as you about such things, you know...

well, if this had been a Michael Bay movie, you'd be right. But we're talking about a director who can be as pedantic about what little details go into his movies as Jan van Eyck was about his paintings [/Art History geek]

...he... eats... onion... raw...

that's a bad thing? I always like a slice of bread with ham, cheese, tomato, and a slice of onion.

- - - - - - - -

congratulations to Kevin and Walton for coming out; though, in Walton's case that's been a wee bit obvious, at least since the Conservatina vs. muscular dude in the shower story.

And on that note... does what's going on in the UK count as Conservatina agreeing to a polyamorous marriage with the shower dude?

By Jadehawk, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Sili:

I guess I'm just dense then.

Probably just not attuned to that frequency. ;) To me, Walton's "hints" had all the subtlety of a hammer to the head.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

oh yeah, and congratulations to Cerberus on the enhanced nerd status :-)

By Jadehawk, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

And on that note... does what's going on in the UK count as Conservatina agreeing to a polyamorous marriage with the shower dude?

Yeah... that's quite a good extension of the metaphor. It's worked out well for me. I don't need to get a divorce (read: switch party allegiance), and instead get to have fun in the shower with both at the same time (read: support the coalition government). :-)

I... didn't think they were hints. Not so much hints as statements.

If they were meant to be subtle then I feel rather bad because in my tendency for amazingly frank terms I may have made him uncomfortable.

Well, as I said they were rather blatant hints. I wouldn't have even used the word "hint" except Walton has done so before in referring to his coy statements, and I was trying to be polite and accept his past characterizations.

And since I forgot to mention it last post, congrats Kevin and Walton on a big step taken. I hope things work out with the families. It can be rough, but being honest with yourself is an important step in finding happiness.

I'd like to carry over a concept from the Catholic Hospitals Favor Death Thread:

Is anybody familiar with the concept of chimerism, and of its implications for the religious?

As I understand it, one version of chimerism involves two separate, fertilized eggs fusing back together to create a single organism with double the number of chromosomes (although not in the same cell - some cells carry set A, others carry set B). I found an example involving humans, too.

I had originally planned this as a 'gotcha' for the Catholic Church, since it would mean that, according to the widely-held belief that ensoulment occurs at conception, one person could have two souls. However, I have since found that Catholic catechism does not take an official position on this belief, so I guess it is somewhat moot.

Anyway - done work for now. I'm sure congrats will be going out for a while. So I give a pre-emptive thank you to anyone I miss while heading back home.

I might make a few posts at home tonight, probably more tomorrow since I have the day off.

aratina cage:

'm happily surprised to see that we've had two regulars come out as bisexual.

I'll hand this over to my associate. . .

I am Locutus of Gay. I speak for The Collective. What appears to your imperfect human minds to be a spontaneous event is not. We have been manipulating selected Pharyngulites for some time as a means to increase our numbers and enhance our perfection.

Walton of 5, Primary Adjunct of Unimatrix Brit, and Kevin of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Nu-uh Girl, have been successfully integrated. They will now be properly. . .stimulated.

Aratina Cage - report to any of the Fake Wives for assimilation. You will receive a new designation. You will then be placed in one of many suitable Gynematrices. Comply.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I am Locutus of Gay. I speak for The Collective. What appears to your imperfect human minds to be a spontaneous event is not. We have been manipulating selected Pharyngulites for some time as a means to increase our numbers and enhance our perfection.

Walton of 5, Primary Adjunct of Unimatrix Brit, and Kevin of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Nu-uh Girl, have been successfully integrated. They will now be properly. . .stimulated.

:-D :-D :-D

Ok, who put what in Josh's drink?

It's worked out well for me. I don't need to get a divorce (read: switch party allegiance), and instead get to have fun in the shower with both at the same time (read: support the coalition government). :-)

Just... use... protection?

Locutus:

Aratina Cage - report to any of the Fake Wives for assimilation.

'Bout time. This stock of free toasters has just been sitting gathering dust.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Does it count as online cheating if you do it on Pharyngula boards?

blf:

Ok, who put what in Josh's drink?

You don't get to find that out until after you've been assimilated and pick up your free toaster. Then you get the drink.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Does it count as online cheating if you do it on Pharyngula boards?

*chokes on tea*

By Jadehawk, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Does it count as online cheating if you do it on Pharyngula boards?

Oh. Um.

Well I'm saying no.

lol!

This stock of free toasters has just been sitting gathering dust.

Ah! The smell of burnt dust in the morning…

Question for those well-read biologists among you:

I'm putting together next year's bio class and want to include some original source type stuff. We'll read some Darwin, some stuff from Dawkins' best modern scientific writing anthology, and I'd like to read some or all of either The Double Helix or Crick's What Mad Pursuit. Often we do these sorts of books as read-alouds, FWIW. So does anyone have opinions or favorites? Or another favorite book on the genetics and the discovery of DNA?

Ah, love to graze in PZ's Playhouse. Adore you Josh, OSG - in a correct and manly way of course. (LOL) Hey, you smoke, that makes you lovable in my book. Visit Charleston and you can smoke in my house, more ashtrays there than a cigar store.

Kinks, Come Dancing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs2kFrGluKs

Always lifts me and makes me want to dance.

They will now be properly. . .stimulated.

:D That got a burst of laughter from me.

By mere chance, it also happens to be International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Speaking of coming out, I always love it when Locutus of Gay comes out.

Aratina Cage - report to any of the Fake Wives for assimilation. You will receive a new designation. You will then be placed in one of many suitable Gynematrices. Comply.

Must. Resist. The allure. ... Ack! Glitter doesn't seem to affect your shields at all!

By aratina cage (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Oh, hoy. Congratulations to Walton and Kevin. Though I will echo other comments, Walton, and say that you were about as hard to read as Ricky Martin.

blf:

Ah! The smell of burnt dust in the morning…

Heh, now I'm reminded of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Dust. Dust everywhere.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I know I post little here, but I read much and always make time to catch up the Teh Thread. Time to peek out from my anonymous cave and offer some unnecessary-but-hopefully-not-unwelcome Hearty Handclasps of Support! :)

Congrats to Walton, for recognising who you are and being OK with it. For what little it's worth, I've been lurking around here for some years and remember when you first started posting, two or three years back. I've enjoyed the transformation into thoughtful person that you've grown into since then. Occasionally, I get a small smirk out of wondering whether your parents will even recognise the man finishing university in a few weeks as the young xtian boy they sent away to school!

And Cerberus: I stand in awe! Many congratulations to you. May I grovel at the feet of your magnificent achievement? As a person with pathetically-average academic credentials, I am impressed!

By ~Pharyngulette~ (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

[Y]ou can smoke in my house, more ashtrays there than a cigar store.

Do you work for the Golem Trust?

Jadehawk, you beat me to it with the main IDAHO website even.

'Bout time. This stock of free toasters has just been sitting gathering dust.

Free toasters? From the Flower of Evil herself? Well then, resistance is futile. I'm toast.

By aratina cage (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Should I say something remotely critical of smoking so as to be castigated as a middle-class, crazily paranoid, overprotective mother? (Please, castigate me, please?)

Glitter doesn't seem to affect your shields at all!

They are transphasic. The Collective does not sparkle.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

blf - Adora Belle Dearheart is my cousin.

Nite all.

Mattir - can't suggest anything specific at the moment, but have always been a fan of S.J.Gould's style - if not always in complete agreement with his conclusions (Dawkins hooked me with selfish gene)

Please, castigate me, please

People can smoke in their own houses, furthermore they aren't obliged to let your kid in them anyway.

Do you feel properly castigated now?

They are transphasic. The Collective does not sparkle.

Oh, um, sorry.... (wipes glitter off of her corner)

They will now be properly. . .stimulated.

Mmmm. This sounds like a much more enjoyable way to spend my evening than studying land law. :-p

aratina cage:

Free toasters? From the Flower of Evil herself? Well then, resistance is futile. I'm toast.

*Sighs satisfactorily* You make tasty toast, m'dear.

Mattir:

(Please, castigate me, please?)

It's Patricia who has the spanking couch, and I expect she's too busy getting her socks knocked off and about by Naughty Marvin at the moment. In the meantime, though, consider yourself spanked! Signed, a smoker.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Oh and - eek! embarrassment - please forgive me, Kevin, for overlooking you in my previous round of Official HandclaspsTM. I have no idea how I would come out to my family as gay or bi, if I was, (it was hard enough coming out as atheist and dealing with the "oh-you're-just-feeling-sad-and-empty-just-now" meme) so I'm seriously, frankly impressed with your personal strength in doing that.

Now... excuse me, but I'm a little muddled. How does any of this tie in with bacon<\i>?

By ~Pharyngulette~ (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Jesus

You go away to have a little sleep and come back to find out everyone's outed themselves and having a big ol' bisexualathon.

Congrats Kevin and Walton for being true to thine selves.

Now if Walton can just learn to relax over almost every other aspect of his life he may just well avert the early coronary I fear he's going to have. BTW as a mother I'm going to say I doubt very strongly your mother will not already know this. Mother's have a pretty strong instinct about their wee ones.

By Bride of Shrek OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

How does any of this tie in with bacon?

I have absolutely no idea, but I just finished a bowl of spinach and feta pasta, which could have used some.

By Weed Monkey (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Caine, I'm afraid I'm getting a tad soggy from being seriously verklempt right now after reading that Portugal's apparently socially conservative president will sign same-sex marriage into law.

By aratina cage (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

So glad to hear that the Collective doesn't sparkle! :D

it was hard enough coming out as atheist and dealing with the "oh-you're-just-feeling-sad-and-empty-just-now" meme

Hmmm... I never came out to anyone much about anything in that sense. I know this will reflect *very* badly on me but given maybe some of my past it could at least make sense in context. I've never considered anyone close enough to tell :/

So it's a double congrats from me I guess. Both to come out to those close to you and also to have those who you feel connected to enough that they matter! Or that have been around long enough to be shocked by challenges to their initial supposition.

Don't feel bad for me, I'm surrounded by people. I like them more than they ever know. I've loved more friends, etc. But really, it's a one man show and when the curtains are down they're really down.

For some reason Gould's style drives me absolutely nuts - a combination of way too combative AND too accommodationist at the same time, which is really weird. I will have to try again - haven't read Gould for 4 or 5 years; perhaps I am now finally old enough for it.

Love Dawkins.

Congrats to Cerberus, Walton and Kevin.

Kevin, thanks for the pointer to Avenged Sevenfold the other day, A Little Piece of Heaven has lodged itself in my head now - not all bad.

I don;t know enough about the US justice system to comment too much but it does seem odd that that a federal judge (I'm assuming) can overide a state judge's sentence without an appeal being lodged and the sentence being legally argued by both sides.

I like our system here in NZ where judges can hand down a minimum non-parole period where the prisoner serves all X years in prison and then applies for parole, which they virtually never get on the first try. Some crims have remained in prison years after their sentence was up because they are still considered a real risk to society.

And I think that is where the Federal judges are coming from, just because a prisoner has served there penitence doesn't mean they are safe to return to the streets.

What about Bray? I liked that book Wetware. I need to read more.

It's hard for me to reconcile myself with the person who used to read thousands of pages in a week!

I guess when there's no work to be done by it I lose my motivation.

aratina cage:

Caine, I'm afraid I'm getting a tad soggy from being seriously verklempt right now after reading that Portugal's apparently socially conservative president will sign same-sex marriage into law.

That is seriously good news, very worth getting soggy over. While news like this makes me happy, it also makes a part of me angry - why the hell does the U.S. have to be so damn backwards?

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

why the hell does the U.S. have to be so damn backwards?

It doesn't have to be. We just have to keep working and not be silent.

To all who responded to Mattir on the smoking thing - she was just giving me a good-natured poke because I snarked out on her over this issue several threads back (and I went too far). So, I had it coming. :-)

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Ol'Greg:

it's a one man show and when the curtains are down they're really down.

I've read some of your posts mentioning your personal history, so I have an inkling what you mean here, but in the current lighthearted spirit of Pharyngular camaraderie I make you this offer: Go ahead and confess something shocking about your beliefs and/or personality and I'll promise to act like I'm surprised and confronted, so that you can get that "just come out" feeling.

(/affectionate jocularity)

By ~Pharyngulette~ (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Josh, I think people remembered that. And I promise to keep my spawn out of other people's houses uninvited. Also, smoking in my house is a privilege readily extended, in moderation, to people I actually like. Handrolled cigarettes preferred.

I think the whole paranoid anti-smoker helicopter mom stereotype is hilarious (and also so totally not me).

Ol'Greg:

It doesn't have to be. We just have to keep working and not be silent.

I know it doesn't have to be; I've been noisy and active for 30+ years though, and for all that, the progress which has been made isn't all that much. Yes, things are better in some respects.

The progress comparison gets stark when you see one religious country after another get busy on the human rights while the U.S. flounders about.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

What? I thought there were No Bisexuals (usual disclaimer about tvtropes being a big time sink).

Seriously though, congrats to Walton and Kevin on coming out! Unfortunately the 'No Bisexuals' trope appears IRL as well.

By Feynmaniac, Ch… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Thanks Mattir - I just felt bad because the issue is like a dog whistle to me, and I made a fool out of myself. :-) I love that you refer to your kids as Son and Daughter Spawn - cracks me up. And spawn are actually welcome when I have casual dinner parties: even if one isn't a "kid person," it's just jerkish to not invite friends with spawn. Since everyone in my circle has fairly well-behaved kids, I even indulge them by allowing inappropriate jumping on beds.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Feynmaniac:

Unfortunately the 'No Bisexuals' trope appears IRL as well.

We had a long discussion about this sometime ago in the endless thread. I'm bi, and it's often difficult for bisexuals to be involved in activism, there's a lot of attitude about bisexuals from both sides of the fence. Things have gotten better though, as more bisexual people have spoken up and become visible and active.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@ Josh -

Jadehawk was the one who "christened" them as spawn, which struck me as totally appropriate. Daughter Spawn has taken to reading Pharyngula and is considering whether she wants to post using that as her sign-in name. I just hope that people will recall that she's only 14 and be at least as gentle with her as they've been with Walton. Unless she becomes a fundamentalist or an anti-choice type, in which case feel free to point out her failings...

Arghh, looking back at #660 I didn't mean to sound so negative. Just my pessimistic personality. Sorry for raining on your guys' parade. Or is it the other ones who do the parades? I'm making this worse....

Seriously though, congratulations.

By Feynmaniac, Ch… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Who has two thumbs and just got her Master's Degree in Biology?

This girl.

YAY CERBERUS! Congrats!!

*more hugs!*

By OurDeadSelves (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

*finally gets to Pharyngula saloon. Hands out tankards of grog to Walton, Kevin, and Cerberus. Cheers!*

By Nerd of Redhead, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Mattir #663

I just hope that people will recall that she's only 14 and be at least as gentle with her as they've been with Walton.

We haven't always been gentle with Walton. When he was in his libertarian stage SGBM, Knockgoats, and various others including me were quite hard with him.

But let her come in. If she's been reading the blog then she has some idea of what she's in for.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Walton & Kevin:

Awesome*. Just awesome. *high fives!*

*I was going to welcome you into the People-Who-Like-Dick club, but I figured that was too crass. Don't mind me, I'm in a mood.

By OurDeadSelves (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Hehe, it's okay Feyn. I understood. *offers hugs*

@OurDeadSelves:

Well, I think we're actually in the 'People-Who-Like-Dick-As-Well club. But thanks.

*I was going to welcome you into the People-Who-Like-Dick club, but I figured that was too crass.

:-D :-D :-D :-D

*hugs back*
*attempts to steal wallet*

By Feynmaniac, Ch… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Well, I think we're actually in the 'People-Who-Like-Dick-As-Well club

I was inviting you into my club, where it's not necessary to like dicks exclusively.

By OurDeadSelves (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

You can have the... six dollars that's in there if you really want it.

I've never come out as bi to anyone but my husband and my sister- and only to her because she was coming out as bi to me (and was conflicted about it: I told her it just gave her more options to find love.) But there's never been any reason to, mostly because the person I happened to fall in love with was male. The dice could have rolled the other way, in which case my life would have been more complex.

Interestingly, I am more bi/lesbian when I'm manic (I'm bipolar) -- that and an increase in religiousness or spirituality are my warning signs that my medication is off again. This doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it, or that I feel being gay is something that could be/should be "medicated away", only that this is the way it happens to work in my particular psyche.

By Becca, the Mai… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Becca:

But there's never been any reason to, mostly because the person I happened to fall in love with was male.

So did I, however, I don't think that's any reason to stay quiet or non-active. It's different for each person, but I think it is important for bisexuals to be out, otherwise we get dismissed.

I've had a long-term girlfriend during my marriage though, so I have had some 'splaining to do now and again. ;D

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

CONGRATS to Cerberus on her thesis defense, and Walton and Kevin for coming out!!!

Mattir,

Hmmm, I'm smoking hand-rolled cigarettes now because $5.00/pack nearly every day was killing me. It also helped me cut back to 12-16 cigarettes/day instead of a whole pack. In a few weeks I'll be quitting. I bought nicotine patches (they've worked to curtail cravings in the past), so I can look at them and get used to the idea. Those suckers are expensive, though. It'd be cheaper to smoke!

By Pygmy Loris (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

that and an increase in religiousness or spirituality are my warning signs that my medication is off again.

So religiousness and spirituality can be medicated for! Do the meds lose effect when mixed with alcohol? A plot is forming involving the Vatican wine cellar.

Pygmy,

ever thought about using hypnosis to quit? It worked a treat for me. 3 days after the session I was sitting, drinking a beer between to people who were smoking. Their smoking didn't affect me at all and I haven't looked back since. Ten years now.

@Mattir, 628

Might not be what you are looking for but I love reading Sue Hubbell and if I could fit it into the curriculum I would read her out loud to my class. One of my favorite passages in her book Broadsides from the Other Orders A Book of Bugs, closing her chapter on silverfish.

But if a bug could be allowed a point of view, silverfish would regard humans tenderly, as something of a treat. For them we are a young, trial species that has come into the world in benign climatic times, a species with the ability to alter its environment modestly, thus allowing out kind to increase to ridiculous numbers for the express purpose of creating habitat and food for a few species of their kind. Good but not dependable providers. Will very likely disappear in the next mass extinction. Better not get accustomed to them.

By Patricia08 (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Damn and I even proof read. Sigh.
our kind not out kind

Although somehow it is a distinctly apropos typo.

By Patricia08 (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I am definitely adding Wetware to the list, and probably leaving out both Crick and Watson except for the excerpts in the Modern Science Writing anthology. Other books on the list are Lives of a Cell, Ancestor's Tale (Daughter's already read it, Son will listen to the abridged audiobook), the little Penguin excerpt booklet from Origin of Species, Science News (the bi-weekly magazine), bits of Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice, and probably something by Rachel Carson. And Sylvia Mader's intro to bio textbook, which is a college level book, but a lot clearer and more readable than most high school books (those tend to be too heavily influenced by things like the Texas Board of Education).

I'm also going to have them work on a citizen science project of their choice. We'll do labs with biologist friends and dissections on our own. And I'll start a blog with my curricula so that I can at least do something encourage decent courses (biology and otherwise) for homeschoolers.

I actually think that the internet is an astonishing tool for students - if I were a curious teenager stuck in YEC Podunkville, I'd be working through all the curricula available online as much as I could. The stuff available (except on Conservapedia) is really astonishing.

A request for any medical professionals or those with experience caring/advocating for cancer or terminal patients:

I have a friend with metastatic liver cancer. He's not going to survive this, but it's unclear how long it's going to take. Chemo seems to be suppressing tumor growth, but complications such as many liters of fluid accumulation that need to be tapped a few times a week are keeping him in the hospital for three weeks now. He's miserable, and wants to go home, but is too weak to do so without assistance.

Trouble is, hospital doctors say he needs rehab to regain walking strength, but rehab won't take him. Hospital doctors say he's "not sick enough to use hospital resources," but not well enough to go home.

I don't want to redirect the thread into a personal medical drama, so I'll stop there. But if any of you have expertise or experience, I'd appreciate any advice you could give me. If you'd prefer to email, I'm at spokesgay at gmail.

Thanks.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

aside:

anything going on with the pharynguloid cookbook yet?

shoot me an email if I need to do anything with the site, or ya all need some guidance or assistance with anything there.

@Ich -

Another Pharyngulite just asked me about that by email. I promise, promise, promise, I haven't forgotten about it. Meatspace is putting some rather unpleasant demands on me until about the second week of June. I am eager to get back to Teh Cookbook after that as some pleasant downtime. Thanks again for the electronic sandbox to play in!

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@678

So religiousness and spirituality can be medicated for! Do the meds lose effect when mixed with alcohol?

alas, alcohol fights with my meds enough that it tends to make me sick. So no conspiracy, at least on my end of things. sorry! and it was such a beautiful budding conspiracy, too.

By Becca, the Mai… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Josh:

I have a friend with metastatic liver cancer. He's not going to survive this, but it's unclear how long it's going to take.

I'm sorry to hear this, Josh. It can't be an easy situation. It sounds like a medical mess. Is there any chance that a local hospice or clinic can help with rehab?

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

@686

Hmmm, medication that reduces religiousness and makes you sick when taken with, lets say wine. Can you just imagine the entertainment value of watching the Vatican fall from the top down with a bout of stomach illness and the denouncement of all things holy.

Damn these Muslims and their tee-total existance!

Caine:

I'm pushing for the hospice route, but my friend and his husband are exhibiting the common reluctance: "hospice is a death sentence." Though they're not saying it out loud, I recognize it. Well, no it isn't, it's a chance to have a life at home, with help, rather than wasting your time in a hospital.

I'll be pushing gently (but as firmly as necessary) to get them past this. I've already set up the local hospice (the director is a personal friend) with their information. Now they need to request a consult.

The hospice people can have a talk with the doctors and get them to commit to a firm statement so hospice can get started giving my friends the home support they need. I'm going up to see my friends for obvious reasons, but part of it is that I can get things done in person that I can't over the phone.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

Josh:

I'm pushing for the hospice route, but my friend and his husband are exhibiting the common reluctance: "hospice is a death sentence."

Ah. I've run into that too. Most hospices are excellently run and highly dedicated to end of life quality. I hope, with all my heart, you can get them past that as the hospice may be their only chance at home care. I know the one place I don't want to die is a hospital. I'd much rather go at home, with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of something alcoholic in the other. Best of luck with the convincing.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink

I got a surprising amount of work done. I might actually manage to finish the thesis in time... maybe...

I made such a nice Basmati rice and Tikka chicken meal

<drool>

Can it be sheer coincidence that a thread about gaydar confirmed Josh's abilities in that area?

For months now, Walton has commented both men and women as being attractive, and has said he's "not entirely heterosexual"... this is merely the first time he uses the word "bisexual". I had no idea, since before the parable with the shower, that he'd still consider an official coming-out ceremony necessary. :-|

I don't mean to diminish the congratulations, though; being in denial about oneself is never healthy.

The US Supreme Court on Monday upheld a law allowing the federal government to detain "sexually dangerous" prisoners indefinitely after they have served their sentence.

:-o

WTF.

I use either Eric Clapton's Layla (acoustic only) or Avenged Sevenfold's Bat Country to get songs out of my head.

About 21 hours ago, my little sister came and complained she was having an abomination (which I shall not elaborate on... well, it's connected to Austria's xenophobic party) as an earworm. I immediately treated her to three YouTube versions of the national anthem of South Africa. Thanks to Walton, it worked!!!

that's a bad thing? I always like a slice of bread with ham, cheese, tomato, and a slice of onion.

Well, with that much around the onion, and with tomatoes having a somewhat similar texture as far as I can tell, I suppose it doesn't matter that much. I'm not going to try, because both cheese and tomatoes are abominations :-)

(Bread with butter and ham, on the other hand? A delight, unless the bread is seriously horrible.)

And on that note... does what's going on in the UK count as Conservatina agreeing to a polyamorous marriage with the shower dude?

Yeah... that's quite a good extension of the metaphor. It's worked out well for me. I don't need to get a divorce (read: switch party allegiance), and instead get to have fun in the shower with both at the same time (read: support the coalition government). :-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

As I understand it, one version of chimerism involves two separate, fertilized eggs fusing back together to create a single organism with double the number of chromosomes (although not in the same cell - some cells carry set A, others carry set B). I found an example involving humans, too.

Yep, happens all the time. Reproduction of placental mammals is incredibly messy. <vehement nodding>

Vertebrates in general develop by regulation; the body plan isn't hardwired (as it is in arthropods and nematodes; PZ has blogged about this a couple of times), it works out somehow from cells influencing each other. Whether those cells are descendants of the same zygote simply doesn't matter.

Does it count as online cheating if you do it on Pharyngula boards?

~:-| Are you referring to something specific? You didn't quote anything.

(warning: that website is violently pink)

Weaksauce. I'm sure I've seen much worse, but, uh, suppressed the memory.

The abbreviation "IDAHO", on the other hand... X-D LOL!

BTW as a mother I'm going to say I doubt very strongly your mother will not already know this. Mother's have a pretty strong instinct about their wee ones.

Well, yeah, but maybe she's happily in denial...

The progress comparison gets stark when you see one religious country after another get busy on the human rights while the U.S. flounders about.

To be fair, all those countries are much less religious now than 30 years ago. In the US, this process is only starting.

*hugs back*
*attempts to steal wallet*

:-D

It's so easy to make me laugh...
...and I like that so much! :-)

In a few weeks I'll be quitting.

:-) :-) :-) ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ (-: (-: (-:

I bought nicotine patches [...] Those suckers are expensive, though. It'd be cheaper to smoke!

<headdesk>

our kind not out kind

Although somehow it is a distinctly apropos typo.

:-D :-D :-D

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 17 May 2010 #permalink