Spamming me doesn't work, OK?

I know you're out there, and I'm laughing at you. Something happens to me occasionally: some clever dick decides that they'll torment me by signing me up for all kinds of internet newsletters and advertising, so that my in-box will get flooded, or they sign me up for magazine delivery and then presumably chuckle at my discomfiture at receiving unwanted mail.

What they don't understand is that I live in spamville.

I get several thousand emails a day right now. Putting me on an acupuncturist mailing list, or the newsletter of a chiropractic cult, simply throws a few more drops into the torrent. I click on it once, add it to my list of software sorting rules (all mail from this address→trash), and it's gone and never reappears. I can do this far more quickly and easily than you can sign me up. I have skills honed in an incident with Catholics a few years ago.

So sure, you can get a company to send me something like this a thousand times, and I'll see it once, and forevermore, that company is dead to me. Meanwhile, what I've got is blog fodder.

Acupuncture loons are churning out software to calculate magic points to poke the gullible? That's just hilarious.

As for those who burden my poor mailman with pulp, that goes in two directions. Most of it just gets recycled, like the church newsletters and letters telling me to pay for prayers on their magic prayer rug. Some of it I rather appreciate: the person(s) who signed me up for those gay men's magazines, for instance. They actually had intelligent analyses of political issues, with fashion tips. I felt guilty about taking those in and depriving a quality company of revenue, and cancelled those, but any others, I just recycle their money into the big blue boxes.

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention to the delusional harasser that yes, I noticed your recent effort to make a dent in my mailbox…for about 30 seconds.