Already compromised

Ken Ham is currently hawking his new book, Already Compromised, in which he whines about the way universities — even many bible colleges — don't take the Old Testament absolutely literally. This leads, of course, to students actually examining evidence and arguments outside the Bible, which inevitably leads to…atheism.

He preaches no compromise and accepting every single gosh-darned letter of the Bible in the plainest possible sense. This leads to logic like this at the Creation "Museum".

In Genesis 6:19-20, the Bible says that two of every sort of land vertebrate (seven of the "clean" animals) were brought by God to the Ark. Therefore, dinosaurs (land vertebrates) were represented on the Ark.

Well now, suddenly, the creationist gang behind the Ark Park have seen the virtues of compromise. They've done a few studies and have found, oh horrors, that wingnut craziness might scare away a few suckers customers for their giant Kentucky boondoggle, so they're thinking about leaving the dinosaurs off the ark.

So if Ark Encounter is in danger of straying from Answers and Genesis' literal interpretation of the Bible, a burning question must be asked: Will there still be dinosaurs on the Ark?

"(We're) not positive," Zovath explains. "The fact that it gets so much publicity is probably a good reason to consider having (dinosaurs) on the Ark, because people write about it. Just like in the Creation Museum, we get so much press and so much publicity and so much interest in the lobby where the dinosaurs and the kids are playing together. People get interested in it, and they want to know more about it, so that could be a strong reason to include that in the Ark itself. Again, we've got an awful lot of exhibits, and it's a pretty complex project, really large, as you can imagine, so we're kind of concentrating on the big chunks and then working our way down to the specific details of each exhibit."

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that Answers in Genesis is all about sucking maximum moolah out of the believers' pockets. I am also shocked that Ken Ham will be joining the rest of us heathens in Hell. I'm a nice guy, though, so I'll let him come to our orgies of the damned as long as he promises not to be a debbie downer.