I know! How about if we redefine homophobia as a disease?

Sadly, an Indian health minister has gone on record calling homosexuality a "disease".

For the Union health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad, men having sex with men (MSMs) is not only "unnatural" but also a "disease."

According to Azad, "this disease has come to India from foreign shores", and Indian society needs to be prepared to face it. Unfortunately, he said, the number of "such people" is increasing by the day.

All gay people are alien immigrants from Gaydonia, I guess, and no natives of the subcontinent could possibly be gay. Unless maybe they're from Pakistan.

I think we could make a legitimate case for calling homophobia a disease or mental illness, though. All you have to do is browse this sampling of homophobic comic books to see that there is something just wrong with those people. The bizarre, crude work of politician Brent Rinehart alone makes a disturbing case for institutionalizing the wackaloon.

I had no idea that gayness gave you superspeed and that rainbows trailed behind you wherever you went, but if it were actually true, it would be awesome. Except for the children of the corn who'd be pursuing you all the time.