-
"You must never drink any more than slightly less than two drinks. Beyond that state of mildly intoxicated perfection lies drunken madness, 3rd pints, kebabs, and destruction."
-
"There were three different bears, in all. Happy Bear, who was happy; Brave Bear, who wanted to be brave ("Dear God. Please make me BRAVE like a lion! RARRR!"); and Thankful Bear, who was thankful for everything that Happy Bear was happy about.
They were only supposed to pray when you pressed their paws together in true praying style, but after a few weeks they started activating spontaneously when you walked past them. You'd be putting Jesus Pens in the pen containers, and suddenly a whole row of teddy bears would start praying loudly right next to you. We called them the Possessed Teddies, and hoped we'd get rid of them soon.
But I started wondering about them.
Why were we selling them?
Did they really help kids?
Where was Depressed Teddy? And Identity Crisis Teddy? And Guilty Teddy? Or could the teddies only teach you to pray about your problems if you didn't have any real ones?
And what on earth did they have to do with Jesus? "
- Log in to post comments
More like this
Throughout most of the world humans have exterminated carnivores in order to keep their places of habitation safe, and while large carnivores still exist in patches we have a sort of "You keep to your side, I'll keep to my side," sort of attitude towards them. The problem, however, is that we keep…
Smaller government, smaller dreams, smaller people | slacktivist
"Consider this account of the rebuilding and re-engineering of Galveston. Consider the scope and audacity of the project -- the cost, the labor, the years it took. Does any American city, or America itself, still have the courage,…
Roger Ebert's Journal: Archives
"In my case, I haven't taken a drink for 30 years, and this is God's truth: Since the first A.A. meeting I attended, I have never wanted to. Since surgery in July of 2006 I have literally not been able to drink at all. Unless I go insane and start pouring booze…
Turn or go straight? Quick! : Dot Physics
This is a classic problem. You are in a car heading straight towards a wall. Should you try to stop or should you try to turn to avoid the wall? Bonus question: what if the wall is not really wide so you don't have to turn 90 degrees?
(tags: physics…