Keith Richards snorted his father!

Not to be outdone in ridiculousness by the younger generation, Keith Richards has admitted to inhaling his father's ashes:

Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84. (Emphasis mine.)

I have a question. Are there other people in Keith Richards' lungs? Maybe a brother...a cousin...who knows what else is in there. I feel like when Keith Richards dies -- and I am not certain he isn't already -- it is going to be like one of those autopsies they do on Great White Sharks where they find suits of armor and Spanish dubloons inside them.

By the way, to all of my relatives out there, I am specifying in my will that under no circumstances can either of the following two eventualities occur:

1) I am not to be made Mormon posthumously.

2) I am not to be snorted by Keith Richards (or any other member of the Rolling Stones...except Ronnie Wood...Ronnie Wood would be acceptable).