ID and the Arts ... featuring designed poetry

Back in July I reported on the "ID Arts Initiative" - an attempt by Access Research Network to establish the relevance of their particular brand of creationism to the fine arts. Well now they have a website and a blog featuring some fairly horrific poetry. Witness "GIGANTOPITHECUS, WE HARDLY KNEW YE: IN SEARCH OF MISSING LINKS" by
Robert Voss (shouting caps in the original):

BUILT UP FROM A SKULLCAP AND ORANGUTAN'S JAW,
IN MANY OLD TEXTBOOKS, PILTDOWN MAN WE ALL SAW,
TEETH FILED TO LOOK HUMAN, AND STAINED TO LOOK OLD,
HIS LESSON FOR US: DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU'RE TOLD.

TEN YEARS LATER, NEBRASKA MAN WE SALUTED.
FROM A SINGLE PIG'S TOOTH HE WAS RECONSTITUTED.

AND WHO CAN FORGET JAVA MAN'S FEARFUL LOOK?
A BIG GIBBON, FINAGLED FOR YOUR SCIENCE BOOK.

DEPICTIONS OF "NELLY" AND "LUCY" STILL SCARE US.
SADLY, BOTH ARE PREDOMINANTLY PLASTER OF PARIS.
THEIR DRAWINGS AND SCULPTURES BOTH BIASED CREATION,
MAN-LIKE FEATURES ENSUE FROM RICH IMAGINATION.

THE OPPOSITE'S TRUE FOR THE MAN FROM NEANDER;
APISH LOOKS AS THE ARTIST'S PEN TENDS TO MEANDER,
DESIGNED TO IMPRINT IN THE POPULAR MIND,
A CREATURE, NOT MAN, BUT A WHOLE DIFFERENT KIND.

NOT ONLY APE-MEN WERE DOCTORED, LORD KNOWS.
"PILT DOWN CHICKEN" AND MINIATURE HORSIES WITH TOES.
STILL IN SOME TEXTBOOKS, AS FAR AS THAT GOES,
ARE HAEKEL'S FAKED DRAWINGS OF CRITTER EMBRYOS.

FISH EXTINCT FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS, SO THEY SAID,
WASHED UP BY TSUNAMI, BUT UH-OH, FRESH DEAD.
AND COELACANTH, MOST RESILIANT FISH YET,
KEEPS SHOWING UP LIVE IN THE FISHERMAN'S NET.

SOME FRAUDS, SOME SINCERE, BUT ON EVERY OCCASION,
STRONG DEVOTION TO THEORY TRUMPS GOOD OBSERVATION.

Can a Nobel Prize for Literature be far off?

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Anyone else reminded of Vogons?

Anyone else reminded of Vogons?

That was my first thought actually. My second was, if the Bulwer-Lytton Contest*** had a poetry category, Mr. Voss would most certainly win.

*** "...a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."

My what a lovely poem!

And so versatile....it could as easily been entered as part of an old fashioned "Creationism Arts Initiative", without changing a word.

Very poorly designed. Was this a Jr. High contest? Typical ID Creationist drivel.

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NEO-DARWINIAN DITTY
by
Jonathan Vos Post

It was no fun being an atom
and life was a drag as a cell
if you want my personal datum
evolution is hell

DNA is a drug, see?
and the dreams that it brings are swell
but this is what really bugs me
evolution is hell

Walking on land is a marvelous feat
the ocean's too fishy, it's time for farewell
below the salt has become obsolete
evolution is hell

I know it won't come on a platter
or a bottle of cheap muscatel
but these are the facts of the matter
evolution is hell

If dinosaurs are extinct, then
for whom are they ringing the bell?
Just pour me another drink, friend
evolution is hell

0445-0505
25 April 1976

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But that can't be bad poetry... there's no mention of the "silvery Tay"!

By Craig Helfgott (not verified) on 07 Mar 2007 #permalink