I've been thinking a lot lately, and it seems to me that I spend way too much time puking on other peoples' shoes and not nearly enough time prancing about in my own fancy high heels. So this past weekend I did some shopping. Here's one result:
Let me tell you, Mr. Zuska is happy about this turn of events! I also got these:
Of course, after an evening in those, I couldn't walk at all the next day due to my arthritic toes but it was all worth it, because I knew I had finally consumed my way into modern womanhood. I know this because I was reading Mechanical Brides: Women and Machines from Home to Office, a 1993 publication of the Cooper-Hewitt museum that accompanied an exhibit by the same name. And I came across this quote which explained it all to me:
A person articulates herself as female in part through the material objects and images that frame her daily activities. "Gender" is the set of behavioral norms and expectations that members of a given society attribute to the physical differences between women and men. In the words of anthropologist Gayle Rubin, who has analysed the difference between biological "sex" and cultural "gender," the making of a woman is a social process. Feminist studies of design and technology look at products, buildings, cities, and media in relation to women users. Although the built environment is designed largely by men, much of it is constructed with female consumers in mind; design thus contributes to the "making" of modern women.
I gotta tell ya, I am tickled pink to be articulating myself as female today!
Oh noes Zuska. Those shoes just scream "tools of the patriarchy!" Of course, I should talk. I've been prancing around in these all week. they'll be just perfect for my field lab this afternoon.
But think of the possibilities! You can puke on their shoes, and if they still don't get it you can drive your pointy heels into a vulnerable area!
Haha! So pretty and springlike... perfect for the first day of April, eh?
What the fuck is this, Zuska? Have you decided that your own cranky, hairy-legged feminism isn't working so you need to steal my schtick? I am totally un-fucking-amused.
I'm so relieved. I always thought maybe there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't "feminine" enough. But this post made me realize- if that's the case, all I need to do is buy more shoes!
If you're going to go, go all the way. Bondage AND femme, is what I'm talkin' bout.
Whatever, you women can all kiss my ass. Ping.
I realize now that these may indeed be the most appropriate for this post. Next year, I shall wear them in your honor.
Wait a second. Where's the leg hair? I thought you were supposed to be an angry hairy-legged feminist?!
How did you engineer your way into those in the first place?! I don't like the first pair - the gave me spots before my eyes, but the second pair are a shoe-in....
Happy April 1st to you too!
Those are cute shoes...and I like the kitchy feel, too - kinda sorta goth and punk. Hot!
Does anybody else think that Zuska and Isis seem to have switched personalities, in some weird sort of crazy, real world manifestation of The Hot Chick?
The articulations of my feminine toes hurt just thinking about hunting down the patriarchy in those stacked-wood heels.
who are you and what have you done with Z? I shutter to think what's hidden by those pumps? nail polish??!!?!?! PEDICURE!??!!?!
Ha Ha Isis can't take a joke. She'd rather hobble around in her crippling heels pleasing men to the bitter end....
Am I the only one who remembers that this is April Fool's Day?
Oh and: "Ha Ha Isis can't take a joke. She'd rather hobble around in her crippling heels pleasing men to the bitter end...."
Fuck you, Goodness & Light.
Those cherry heels are adorable.
Why, JC, you know I did shave my legs before going out shopping, and after buying all those shoes I thought, what the heck, and I DID get a pedicure! How did you know??!?!?
I'm not feeling up to sorting through the multiple layers of April Fools' jokes involved here, but those really do look horribly uncomfortable. D:
Some people can't distinguish male from female if a man's hair is too long or a woman's hair is too short. Some get genders confused if a woman wears pants or a man wears a kilt. Others if a man wears makeup or a woman doesn't.
With me, it's always been about heel elevation. If a woman's heel is flat on the ground, I just can't figure out what gender she is, no matter what else she's wearing. She can have the largest breasts in the world, a traffic-stopping camel toe, and a pregnant belly, but none of that registers if all her weight isn't thrown onto the ball of her foot.
Exactly! And I, for one, am no longer willing to continue sowing the seeds of gender confusion in everyone I greet. Thus the high-heeled makeover. At least for today!
You people are all stone crazy.
And a happy April Fools Day to us all
This is funny. *hearts*
hmm. Maybe this is why I increasingly find myself feeling un-female (and yet, still punished before being female at all!). Not being able to wear cute shoes just takes all the fun out of it. =-(