Speaking of Mr. Vonnegut...

So I'm in the midst of trying to write a book, with a genetics theme and all. And so far, things look pretty good. I'm having fun anyway. But this is not what this post is about. This post is actually about a previous attempt to write a book, which was tentatively entitled "Towards Hannah: an Unusual Primer on Genetics and Biotechnology." Anyway the main pitch behind that book project was to focus on about a two year period of my life and use it as a backdrop to talk genetics.

It even got representation which was neat at the time (and includes the Dr. Phil episode), but ultimately, the book idea never got any attention, most likely because in order for that type of pitch to work, you kind of have to be a celebrity or something. Anyway, it was at a point halfway through the 3rd chapter that I discovered McSweeney's and started doing the whole trying to write some humour pieces thing, which I guess has led to all sorts of nice bonuses (including working with Ben, this blog, etc, etc).

Anyway, I did manage to churn out 2 and a half chapters of this first book, before letting it rest. And in truth, a good chunk of this half of the third chapter eventually made it to the SCQ as BREAFAST OF CHAMPIONS DOES REPLICATION (hence the connection to Ben's earlier Vonnegut nod).

But below was the putative beginning to the third chapter which is here for record keepings sake. If I get brave enough, maybe I'll put the first two chapters up one of these days ((in case you're wondering, the personal aspect of the book went into my wedding, honeymoon, genetic testing, going to nepal, training for nepal, genetic testing results come back negative, not going to nepal, finally going on a cruise during which Kate discovers she's pregnant, the 9 months, welcoming my first child Hannah - or something like that).

- Chapter 3. Summer 2000 -

To start this chapter, I am going to begin with what may be conceived of as a tangent. This is how you can draw a tangent:

However, the above is a picture of the mathematical definition of a tangent, which is straight line, curve, or surface that meets another curve or curved surface at a point, but does not intersect. In our case, I'm going to use a different definition whereby a tangent can also be described of as something that diverges from a previous course of action or thought. Anyway, here goes...

Kurt Vonnegut is a distinguished and celebrated author that has written some pretty interesting novels in his career. In fact, one of my favourites is "Breakfast of Champions," which is deftly composed using silly pictures (like above) to emphasize its somewhat disconcerting story. Because of this, it turns out to be a fairly entertaining read despite the somewhat darker undertones it has in its text. It's also a work of pure fantasy, as the story follows the tribulations of one Dwayne Hoover, a Midwest car dealer who slowly descends into madness as he takes on the fictitious words of another character, a writer by the name of Kilgore Trout, as an all encompassing truth. In essence, this book is an enjoyable rambling of words that provides the author with a medium for airing some of his views on any number of topics. Not unlike the book you are holding now.

I bring up "Breakfast of Champions" because it happens to be the book that was brought along to our designated "training" trek in the Canadian Rockies. This turns out to be a fortunate coincidence, because the use of silly illustrations also greatly aids in the descriptions used in this chapter. For instance, our training trek involved a serious hike to Mount Assiniboine is often referred to as the Matterhorn of the Rockies, since it has this distinctive facade that looks a bit like this:

Anyway, this mountain holds several meanings for me, not to mention that this is the site where we would subject ourselves to the physicality of a reasonably strenuous backpacking trip. Our first glimpse at training for Nepal, so to speak. It also happened that we would be doing all of this physical stuff in the midst of our first year wedding anniversary. Traditionally, this inaugural anniversary should involve the act of giving something made out of paper. I figured that I could upgrade this tradition, and instead provide Kate with stuff made of wood (trees) and fur (bears). This later was to become acknowledged by all counts as a marital mistake of monumental proportions. It further went to desecrate my reputation as"the husband that doesn't take his wife on fancy cruise vacations."

That said, Mount Assiniboine National Park is also a place of remarkable natural beauty. So much so, that the United Nations has even been included it in its distinguished list of UNESCO world heritage sites. This stellar list, which comprises areas or monuments of immense natural or cultural importance, is the sort of thing that boasts of members like the Grand Canyon, the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids, the Vatican, or even the Great Barrier Reef. It is simply not the sort of thing that would appreciate well-meaning applications from overly ambitious landscape artists or interior decorators, so you can put any thoughts away about submitting that lovely row of begonias you planted last year, or that automobile where you lost your virginity. This is natural and cultural beauty of a completely different order.

You can therefore imagine our excitement as preparations for this trip to Mount Assiniboine took form. Both Kate and I are ardent admirers of mountain scenary, and this place was suppose to be one of the best in the world to experience nature at its finest...

Ah... brings back such memories...

Anyway, the new book idea is much different. Think a covert genetics textbook with a McSweeney's + Believer tone, and all sorts of Weschler or Burke connective tissue going on. Which I'd like to talk more about once I know I can talk more about such things. As always, stay tuned...