At last, the Showdown returns: Team General Relativity beats Team Boson (we think)

Teams have just returned from Sagittarius A*, situated pretty much at the centre of our own galaxy. This was where the final game of the Sweet Sixteen was played in a last minute venue change implemented by the tournament organizers to generate some buzz.

Regrettably, special relativity nuances weren't factored in these logistics, despite the traveling distance needed to be covered (about 26,000 light years one way). Consequently, even though the teams were only traveling for microseconds (i.e. really really fast), and the game itself lasted for a little over 40 minutes, space-time curvature meant that about 3 weeks had actually passed here on Earth.

In any event, details of the game itself are a little vague, as only one instance of footage was able to escape the gravitational pull (see below):

The event horizon of a black hole (the bright area at the centre of the image) completely absorbs emissions from matter behind the black hole when viewed from Earth. The result is a darker circle that could be seen in a sufficiently high-resolution image. In the case shown here -- a theoretical calculation of the event-horizon shadow of the source Sgr A*, which is the subject of Shen and colleagues' study1 -- the black hole is assumed to be rotating rapidly. The tendency of photons to be flung around the black hole in the direction of its rotation brings about an event-horizon shadow that is off-centre, to the right in the image. A brighter ring around the shadow is formed by light rays that are strongly deflected by the gravitational pull of the black hole without being absorbed by it. (Figure courtesy of Eric Agol, Univ. Washington.) link

Furthermore, only the most seasoned of journalists were able to have the wits to leave this black hole and report back, and unfortunately, all of them were only armed with Arts degrees, and basically were at lost with regards to the scientific aspects of the game involved.

This was one of toughest assignments I ever had to do. I couldn't even lift my freaking camera to take pictures there, nevermind have a freaking clue what was going on. Everything was so heavy, something to do with gravity and stuff, apparently, and I was pissed that I forgot my sunglasses. But oh man, I have to say that the cheerleaders, in particular, looked the most upset. (ESPN)

All who returned were reported to be in an almost "entranced" state, and strangely unresponsive to questions overall. Rumour has it that under the very unique conditions available at the event (i.e. the particular team rosters present, playing the sport of basketball, and under an intense gravitational pull), all participants were given a glimpse at the solution to the Grand Unified Theory (GUT), and apparently, this has affected them in such a profound way, to the point of them being "numb."

In any event, Team Boson has left the tournament, whereas Team General Relativity has elected to stay, so we can only surmise that General Relativity was victorious in this case.

So there you have it, the Final Eight have now been finally determined. Stay tuned for further coverage...