I would like to say I have never used any of these statements in my papers but...
| Statement | Really means | |
| It has long been known... | I haven't bothered to look up the reference. | |
| It is thought that... | I think so. | |
| It is generally thought that... | A couple of other people think so, too. | |
| It is not unreasonable to assume... | If you believe this, you'll believe anything. | |
| Of great theoretical importance... | I find it interesting. | |
| Of great practical importance... | I can get some good mileage out of it. | |
| Typical results are shown. | The best results are shown. | |
| Three samples were chosen for further study. | The others didn't make sense, so we ignored them. | |
| The second sample was not used. | I dropped it on the floor. | |
| Results obtained with the second sample must be interpreted with caution. | I dropped it on the floor but managed to scoop most of it up. | |
| Correct within an order of magnitude. | Incorrect. | |
| Much additional work will be required. | This paper isn't very good, but neither is anyone else's. | |
| These investigations yielded highly rewarding results. | My grant will be renewed. | |
| This research was supported by a grant from... | I wonder if the taxpayers know they're paying for this? | |
| A line of best fit was drawn using least-squares regression. | I drew it by hand. | |
| A non-linear relationship was found. | I drew it by hand and I didn't use a ruler. | |
| Stringent controls were implemented. | My advisor was watching. | |
| I thank X for assistance with the experiments and Y for useful discussions on the interpretation of the data. | X did the experiment and Y explained it to me. |
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The original source is:
A glossary for research reportsFrom Metal Progress 71, 75 (1957)
C D GRAHAM, JR. You can read it here.
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My favorite is missing from this particular version.
"Samples were treated with extreme care" = NOT dropped on the floor.
I've always liked "Accidentally strained during mounting" as yet another euphemism for "Dropped on the floor".
STATEMENT: Equipment crucial to our experiments is not available,and important experiments must be delayed until the equipment can be obtained.
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