Here's a fun one from the archives--Modern Drunkard Magazine's advice on how to beat an intervention. It includes this gem:
Counter Attack
Now that you've blunted their savage assault, it's high time to launch your own vengeful attack. The only people bold enough to conduct an intervention are those who consider themselves very close to you, so you most likely will know more than a little about their habits. And everyone, even Mother Theresa, has bad habits. Attack these flaws with a strident, yet deeply concerned tone.
More like this
Whenever there's a documentary about shark attacks on the Discovery Channel or a popular press article involving the supposed "alarming rise" in shark attacks, the International Shark Attack File (ISAF) is usually mentioned.
After I linked to a posting by Cypren that attacked Fox News, Lott read the posting, construed it as an attack on himself and complained about it.
I hope the Democrats are successful in stopping the Iraq atrocity. Out of Iraq. Now. But I must once again disagree -- strongly disagree -- with the notion that Iraq has distracted us from the "real" war against terrorism, the one in Afghanistan.
As a man with a history of heart concerns, I know what to be aware of in me, and know what symptoms would send me off to the hospital (or to the phone — don't exert yourself if experiencing heart attack symptoms!) But there are women I care about too, so it's useful to know that
Modern Drunkard's writing staff includes Boyd Rice - Tiki fan, industrial musician, Charles Manson obsessive, Satanist, associate of fascists, subcultural maven.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyd_Rice
Ahh, Satanists. They're like atheists who just love Paradise Lost too much to let go of the remaining shreds of dogma.
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
<grin>
Probably got the idea from the Bitterman strip in Mad Magazine. In one installment Bitterman is confronted by his friends (yes, he has friends) who are concerned about his drinking. Bitterman cuts them off and reams each of them a new one. It's funny in a soul crushing sort of way.
Yeah, definitely been on the receiving end of that one...