Uh oh...not again

Tonight on WXYZ Channel 7 in Detroit, the station that brought us the irresponsible health reporting of Steve Wilson, there will be a report on the HPV vaccine Gardasil. Given this station's recent history, I'm not very optimistic.

The Gardasil issue has been a unique crank-magnet. It has attracted a an interesting mix of religious zealots, antivax cultists, consumer advocates, and conspiracy theorists. It's even got Oprah! It's also damned interesting science.

Stay tuned.

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Right now, I'm looking out my window to see the spreading pall of burning stupid rising over Channel 7's tower in Southfield. And the stupid isn't just for Steve Wilson anymore. What reporter Carolyn Clifford lacks in adiposity, she easily makes up for in credulity. Her "investigative report"…
I used to teach at a hospital downtown. While on rounds, I'd often ask my residents and students where they were born, and get answers such as, "Alabama", "Kerala, India", "Damascus, Syria". Inevitably, they'd ask me where I was born, and I'd point to the floor and say, "Right here". "You mean…
GARDASIL®, the vaccine intended to prevent infection with href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papilloma_virus" rel="tag">human papillomavirus (HPV), was controversial even before it was href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/18/health/main1628221.shtml">approved by the FDA…
What is it with the local news media in my hometown? You might (or might not) remember when I noted back in February that there was one Detroit station that did an unbelievably, hilariously dumb and credulous story about "orbs" in photos and whether they are ghosts or spirits manifesting themselves…

Great. Just great. So, let's see how many of these pop up tonight:

1) "There are nearly 8,000 reported adverse events relating to (over 8 million) injection so far". Conclusion: all 8,000 events are directly attributable to the use of the vaccine...no other sources of adverse events can be considered.

2) "There were 4 deaths since the vaccine has been used". Conclusion: the deaths were a direct result of the vaccine. Forget that one of the persons had congenital issues. Perhaps the vaccine caused the congenital issue.

3) "Only 3,000 women die of cervical cancer a year in the U.S.". Conclusion: 8,000 adverse events (over all years the vaccine has been in use) is more than 4,000 deaths, therefore, it's better to not vaccinate and avoid the larger number of problems. As for the other 6,000 women diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer each year, since they are not deaths, the fact that their numbers are greatly reduced is not important.

4) "Adverse events...." Conclusion: pain, suffering, and death. Forget pain at the injection site (duh! It's s needle), tenderness, and fainting (because we know stressed girls never faint...why just look at fainting for blood donations, they never...wait a minute, scratch that).

5) "One girl suffered from pancreatitis after receiving the vaccination". Conclusion: 1 girl out of 8 million getting pancreatitis confirms that a mechanism exists. Just ask her lawyer involved in the lawsuit.

Makes perfect sense. Did he also mention that the vaccine contains toxic chemicals with scary sounding names?

Like sodium chloride and sucrose?

I think sodium thiopental is better for everyone involved.