Amusing Article on Keyes

Bruce Walker of the inaccurately titled intellectualconservative.com has an amusing little essay up virtually begging conservatives to help convince Keyes to move to Illinois and run for the senate against Barack Obama. And you've just got to love this beginning:

Black conservatives are treated abominably by the Left. Dr. Thomas Sowell is the most brilliant social thinker and one of the best writers alive today. Where are his Nobel prizes?

Um, Bruce....what would you like him to get the Nobel prize for? Sowell is an economist, so he might be qualify for the Nobel Prize in Economics, but only if he has contributed a major new economic theory or concept to his field, which he has not. In fact, he doesn't work as an economist at all, he works as a syndicated columnist. I don't know how to break it to you, but they don't give out a Nobel Prize for Brilliant Social Thinking, or a Nobel Prize for People Bruce Walker Really Thinks are Cool.

Alan Keyes is the most brilliant public speaker in American politics today. Anyone who has listened to him debate an issue or argue a point can only honestly compare his eloquence to President Reagan, who elevated Keyes to national prominence.

Oh, give me a break. Keyes is an infinitely better speaker than Ronald Reagan, and it's not close. Reagan was a reasonably competent cue card reader; Keyes is a rhetorical tour de force who is, I agree, unmatched this side of Jimmy Swaggart. And like Swaggart, almost everything he says is nonsense, but he says it so eloquently that you still wanna cheer. But here's my favorite part:

Disheartened by a bad Republican governor two years ago and then a Senate candidate tainted with scandal, Keyes could enable Republicans to regain the moral high ground in Illinois.

Bzzzt. Sorry, that's bullshit. Given that he declared that Hillary Clinton's campaign in New York as a carpetbagger was representative of the "demise of federalism" and that he swore he would never do what she did, if Keyes accepts and runs in Illinois it will destroy all claim he has to the moral highground. It will prove that he is just another con man willing to throw principle out the window in pursuit of political power.

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Hey, nice article. I really enjoy your blog, Brent. Great mix of sarcasm and satire.

Keyes' carpetbagging will be covered over by his appeal to the flags/fags/Jesus wing of the GOP. They'll overlook it.

By bear,the (one each) (not verified) on 07 Aug 2004 #permalink

"Keyes' carpetbagging will be covered over by his appeal to the flags/fags/Jesus wing of the GOP."

Oops, you left out Abortion, which he did in fact use in his first rhetorical volley against Obama. But none of it will fly, and the Illinois GOP won't even have the consolation of setting up a viable candidate for the future. The GOP will be crushed statewide. Hey, this could be a fun election!