Okay, a break from all the serious stuff for a little pop culture. While doing a search for information on a restaurant, I came across this post on a blog I've never seen blasting the Food Network for many things. Now, the Food Network is quite possibly my favorite channel. I'm a serious food lover, particularly BBQ, as everyone probably knows by now, and yes I actually watch cooking shows. But the Food Network is definitely hit or miss. Some of it I like, some of it is awful. So herewith, the good, the bad and the ugly of the Food Network.
Let's start with the bad. Yesterday they showed Emeril's 1500th show and had this big celebration built around it. 1500 is a good round number, Emeril; I think it's time to go. 1500 shows means we've heard the same jokes about 150,000 times now. Yes, we know that where you get your water it doesn't come seasoned. We know that you could put (fill in the blank) on a bumper and it would taste good, we know that when you take things out of the oil they're "vulnerable" and that you season them to make them "happy", and we've heard your irritating "use your knobs" speech more times than we can count. And frankly, one more BAM and I'm liable to hit you with a tire iron. Either write some new material or get off the air.
Emeril is actually a perfect little microcosm of American popular culture, particularly the elevation of style over substance. He's so busy telling bad jokes and delivering hackneyed and worn out catchphrases that half the time he doesn't even finish the dishes he's supposed to be doing. And sometimes his cooking techniques are just terrible. I saw him cook babyback ribs on the show once where he put them in boiling water for 10 minutes, then slapped them on his cooktop grill for another 10 minutes. They didn't show anyone actually trying to eat them, of course, because it would have been like trying to chew through a piece of rubber. I'm not sure you could even get a knife through them cooking them like that. Yet, he's the biggest star in the place. I don't doubt that Emeril is a great chef. I've eaten at his restaurant in Vegas and the food was excellent. But it's time to get off my TV.
There are other annoying people on the network, of course. Raechel Ray seems to have about a half a dozen shows on the air, but they're all fluff. I think she's cute and all, but she doesn't seem to really have much in the way of cooking skills. And she's just too damn perky all the time. And stop with the "EVOO" already. Acronyms just ain't that clever.
The good? You have to love Anthony Bourdain, though he's now moved to the Travel Channel. And I totally disagree with the blogger I linked to above about Bobby Flay. I think Bobby Flay rocks, and that's probably because his shows tend to focus on BBQ so much. I like the Brooklyn accent and I just think he's a heck of a chef. I'm also a big fan of Mario Batali.
Both Batali and Flay are on Iron Chef America, a takeoff of the Japanese show. This is perhaps my favorite show, and I loved the Japanese version as well (despite the fact that they cooked a lot of stuff I wouldn't eat on a bet). The good thing about Iron Chef America is that it shows you who is just a celebrity chef and who is a real chef, and I was surprised by what I saw. Both Flay and Batali, despite owning bunches of restaurants, are not just names on the door - these guys can throw down in a kitchen. And Wolfgang Puck, who was one of the original American Iron Chefs before they put the series together and who I was sure would be just an empty chef's coat, was tremendous with a knife in his hand. And I'm happy to see Cat Cora as a female Iron Chef. This is a woman with serious credentials, apprenticing under two of the three living Michelin 3-star chefs from France and being the executive chef and owner of Postino (along with another Food Network star, the terribly pretentious Michael Chiarello), an incredible restaurant in San Francisco. And I love her southern drawl.
And who could not love Alton Brown? He appeals to the inner geek in all of us...okay, maybe just in me. Good Eats is probably the best and most informative show on the network. Yeah, sometimes the jokes are a bit hokey. But the amount of information he gives is staggering and he really helps you understand why you have to cook something a certain way to get the result you want.
The rest I just don't pay much attention to. Paula Dean is charming and amusing, but I'm sorry you're just not gonna make me like grits. Sara Moulton is boring beyond belief, as is the "Semi Homemade Cooking" lady. I've seen Everyday Italian a few times, and yes Giada DeLaurentis is gorgeous, but her teeth scare me. I swear, she has more teeth than a crocodile. And I'm not at all into baking, so I don't even stop when I see the Barefoot Contessa on the TV.
So what would I do if I ran the food network? Well, probably run it into the ground because I'd go for substance over style and everyone knows that never sells in this country. More BBQ shows, of course, and not just specials about BBQ competitions. I'd hire Steven Raichlen, the world's foremost BBQ expert, and give him at least an hour a week to teach people how to do real BBQ. I'd do a show just on wine (I know Andrea Immer has one on their sister network, but it really should be on the Food Network), and perhaps another one on other beverages. Show people how to mix a really good martini, ya know? But mostly I'd banish Emeril to the 7th circle of hell until he wrote some new freaking jokes.
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Thank you ED!!! I too love the Food network channel. This summer while on tour, i spent a great deal of time with my youngest son, who informed me how much he enjoyed the food channel, and particularly Alton Brown's show--"Dad he really knows the science of food and cooking". He watches it with his friends (one of whose older brothers is now at the west coast CIA in Napa) and they are more than familiar with all aspects of it (my son also was a guest on our friends' Santa Barbara based cooking show). If the Food Network is doing such a poor job it wouldn't be pulling the cross section of viewers that it does.
Complaints of me, interestingly enough(damn) include a similar distate for Emeril, the Contessa's head is simply way too big for her body, the 30 minute dinners are when properly evaluated enormously costly, and there are now new shows that just seem silly.
I too greatly enjoy Iron Chef (both Japan and America versions) and have learned some wonderful tricks and tasty recipes (Postino's food is really excellent btw). The addition of Cora and her all female crew encourages more gender diversity in that all too dominated male field. I also like some of the tours of restaurants and their kitchens, but what happened to CIA today?
Hey, great to see a post on the Food Network. I too am a big fan.
Mario Batali is my favorite. His show and Iron Chef America are filled with useful information and fun to watch. And you are quite right about Emril. When I click by his show I'm reminded of the situation network and cable news: they were better in every way when they delivered information and didn't focus on entertainment.
Andy-
I don't think information and entertainment are mutually exclusive. In fact, I'd say in this context that Mario Batali and Alton Brown prove that you don't have to sacrifice personality to have an informative show. They can work together quite well. With Batali, it's just a function of his own obviously whimsical personality. With Alton Brown, the entertainment bits are all in the service of the information, designed to make you remember important things.
But with Emeril, the schtick gets in the way of everything else because the schtick is pretty much the whole show. I can't count how many times I've seen him only get halfway through a dish by the end of the show because he's so busy telling the same stupid jokes, so at the end he's just rattling off the last 8 steps of the recipe and saying goodbye. Part of that is the limitation of having a live show, but it's not like they don't know that it's a live show. That's all the more reason why the host has to be on top of things.
Ed -
What works best for me is when the focus of the show is getting across something useful that you can use in your own cooking and the host has an engaging personality. Mario's show is nearly ideal, especially the series in which he has three guests sitting at the counter who ask some of the questions I'd like to ask. His set is visually appealing; he clowns around with the dropdown map of Itay, yet now I'm more aware of the geography of that country than I've ever hoped to be; and letting a little oil slop out of the pan to blaze up is always fun. (We all like to play with fire!) My wife discovered he has a new show to come out sometime soon where he'll be traveling around to other chefs' kitchens. Wonder if he'll still be in shorts and duck shoes?
You know, the early Emeril shows were a favorite of mine. When he first got started it was just him in a kitchen, no audience, and was pretty hilarious. He was so clearly not a TV type of guy, always bent over and talking into a pan or his cutting board -- rather endearing. Yet he was making things that were new to me so it was informative as well. Then he became a food star and the quality of information and entertainment took a dive.
If the Food Network would grant me one wish, I'd ask for the old Julia Childe's shows from the 1960's to be rerun.
I've been TiVoing Iron Chef America for its entire run, but I've never watched any since the first show. That, and the preceding specials, left me with the impression that the producers were emphasizing the wrong parts of the Japanese version. The floor reporter, in particular, was awful.
Is that guy still around? Tell me he isn't and I'll start watching. I'm hoping the show finally hit its stride.
If nothing else, it's an alternate version of AB's regular show, and that can't be too bad.
It seems like Emeril's show is less and less about cooking, and more and more about Emeril and some weird carnival that he barks for. He's a great cook, imo, and I wish we got to see more of that, but I guess cooking is boring to the wider audience.
And so we get the goofy Rachel Ray, instead. She's harmless; my wife likes her and laughs when she carries everything from the cupboard to the counter. Good schtick.
Being a middle aged guy, I rather enjoy turning off the sound and looking at Sandra Lee. Nice tatas.
Which brings us to Giada D. Thisclose to food porn is all I can figure. Not a great cook; maybe not a good one. Tonight she poured grated parmesan cheese on a cookie sheet and called them potato chips or some nonsense.
She wears tops that show off her cupcakes, such as they are. The teeth are truly scary, and the absurd expressions...I just don't know. I suppose the guys like her breasts, but isn't that what "Charmed" and "Desperate Housewives" are for?
Needless to say, none of these people are Jacques Pepin, but who is.
Good call, Ed.
Michael Chiarello is incredibly pretentious. I have watched his show a couple of times and have never learned a thing. Plus, he is just really boring.
I do like the Barefoot Contessa, especially for the French style recipes. However, I really don't get all the scenes of her driving a Mercedes. I agree with the Rachel Ray comments. Tack on "yum-o" as another nauseating gem of her vocabulary repatoire.
Anthony Bourdain is one of my favorites.