Dover Trial Movie

It looks as though Paramount is indeed going to make a movie out of the Dover trial. They had someone there taking notes the whole time and now they've hired Ronald Harwood to write the script. Harwood is one of the more prominent screenplay writers in the world, having written such movies as The Pianist, Cry the Beloved Country and Being Julia. One commenter at PT is suggesting that Denzel Washington play the role of Nick Matzke. He's obviously never met Nick, who, despite being a Californian, makes Nicole Kidman look like George Hamilton (and I can say that because I share the same shade of pasty).

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Well I didn't think Nick Would mind. I'm lily white myself, but I wouldn't complain about Denzel Washington playing me. Anyway, I'm just disappointed that shiva told me Amrish Puri is dead, so he can't play Behe. Hmmm...how about that Heaven's Gate cult leader? He still around? He could play Behe.

The casting game sounds like fun. A few suggestions:

Bruce Willis as William Buckingham
Danny Bonaduce as Alan Bonsell
Felicity Huffman as Tammy Kittzmiller
Jill Hennesy as Barbara Forrest
Patrick Stewart as Judge Jones
Ari Fleisher as Eric Rothschild
An Empty Chair as William Dembski
Richard Dreyfuss as Michael Behe

and

The Taco Bell Chihuahua as Pat Robertson

See, I thought that Eric Rothschild looks like Ari Fleisher too. But he's not an actor. Ed Harris would be a good choice for him. Richard Dreyfus as Behe is perfect. Phillip Seymour Hoffman should play Nick. And Barbara Forrest absolutely has to be played by Holly Hunter. Barbara is a tiny little southern belle with a fierceness that belies her appearance; only Holly Hunter could play her. And I think the three missing DI witnesses - Dembski, Meyer and Campbell - should be played by the guys who played Larry, Daryl and his other brother Daryl on the Newhart show.

True, but you can't tell me that Fleisher didn't have to have a heck of a lot of natural acting talent in selling the Bush agenda as Press Secretary. :) But yeah, Ed Harris is good too. And Holly Hunter would be excellent as Dr. Forrest...she's been great since Raising Arizona. I still like Hennesy for that role too, although she lacks the southern accent.

Hennesy is just too big. I doubt Barbara weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and carrying a brick. I weighed more than her as a fetus.

I LOVE it! Here's a scene for the storyboard. Inside the courtroom. Dembski, Meyer, and Campbell suddenly realize they'll be called to the stand to testify. A la the Three Stooges, they all bolt for the courtroom door at the same time, and the three of them get jammed in the door together. Accompanied by the appropriate Three Stooges dialogue, of course. "Out of my way, porcupine." "Whoop, whoop, whoop."

Also, can I play Thompson? I think I can handle it, since I'd only have one line, right?

"This is persecution of Christians!"

"This is persecution of Christians!"

"This is persecution of Christians!"

I think I've got it down. I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.

There MUST be a part for Jessica Alba!

Hennesy is just too big. I doubt Barbara weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and carrying a brick. I weighed more than her as a fetus.

Ahh, I see. I only ever saw her from the next up. The hair is deceptive. :)

There MUST be a part for Jessica Alba!

She can play the part of my girlfriend. :)

And I'll play the part of the slightly balding if semi-literate blog commenter. Not writing the blog mind you...just commenting on the blogs of others.

As a potential ticket-buyer (or, more likely, DVD renter) I have to wonder: where's the drama? I mean, "A Civil Action" was a courtroom drama about toxic water, and it still was pretty lifeless.

As we know, "Inherit the Wind" had to stretch the truth a bit, though it had the advantage of a juicy story. A former presidential candidate and Secretary of State, hired as a litigator, is put on the stand! That's drama!

Phony experts lying about whether their books were peer reviewed, not so much.

The only hope: Get Charlie Kaufman to write it. Weave the docudrama with illustrations of ID arguments. Have ILM actually animate a tornado building an airplane in a junkyard!

Inherit the Wedge?

I believe the suggestion of the legal team was that I be played by the guy who played Sam in Lord of the Rings.

Steve Fuller should definitely play himself.