Freethinker Sunday Sermonette: movies that will put your Soul in danger

So many movies. So little time. What I needed was a guide to tell me what I can safely watch without putting my immortal soul in danger. And I've found just the thing: Movieguide: A Biblical Guide to Movies, Entertainment and Culture for Families. But to my horror, I've already seen some of the movies that could damn me to eternal suffering:

Ever since the critical and box office success of movies like Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine" and "Fahrenheit 9/11," the atheist, left-wing elitists in the mass media have stepped up their attacks on the patriotic, traditional and orthodox values of America and Christianity, say officials of "Movieguide: A Biblical Guide to Movies, Entertainment and Culture for Families."

[snip]

According to the Biblical Guide, not only has there been an increase in the number of explicitly left-wing, anti-American, anti-Christian documentaries in the last two years (such as "The Road to Guantanamo," "Jesus Camp," "Jimmy Carter Man from Plains," and "For the Bible Tells Me So"), but there has also been an increasing number of anti-American, anti-Christian, anti-American mainstream movies such as "The Da Vinci Code," "Brokeback Mountain," and the recent box office bombs "In the Valley of Elah" and "Rendition."

[snip]

[Robert] Redford's new movie, which we have seen already, contains a slew of shallow arguments against the Republican Party, the War in Iraq, the Vietnam War, and the United States military, spiced with a vague secular humanist call to political action, presumably against those "evil" conservatives in the Republican Party and their supporters, the so-called religious right.(newsmax)

Thanks be to God for the warning. Here are the new movies you simply must not see:

In the Valley of Elah
Rendition
Lions for Lambs
The Golden Compass.

Let me repeat: don't see any of these movies! (even if they look terrific). The other movies are now on DVD. Don't rent them!

Especially don't see the Nicole Kidman film for kids and adults, The Golden Compass. The Word is that while the movie is innocuous to Souls of All Ages, it is likely to entice the tots -- or you -- to get the Philip Pullman series His Dark Materials, of which it is Book 1. Movieguide warns me the movie is just a shill for Pullman's atheistic children's books, said to be truly wonderful. Even adults find them entrancing. Better than Harry Potter. I don't care if the book got 4.5 stars in 1363 Customer Reviews on Amazon. It promotes an atheistic world view. Read it and it's One more Soul for Satan.

Brought to you as a public service.

More like this

Robert Redford's new movie Lions for Lambs is struggling at the box office. It's also been getting largely negative reviews. But since I saw Bill O'Reilly and other right-wing outlets bashing it for its supposed anti-American bias, I felt honor-bound to go see it. I guess there's no accounting…
It's already got the fundamentalists up in arms. Apparently, one of them managed to read something outside the accepted cannon of Christ-like books and now they're all bothered about the December 7th release (see trailer) of the first installment of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy -…
It must come with the name that Revere has to sound the warning — we've got anti-god/anti-religion movies available now, and more on the way. I'm a little surprised that movies that preach moral responsibility (don't torture people, don't imprison them without trial, don't ship them off to…
Oh, no…not Easterbrook. Haven't I dealt with him sufficiently in the past? He's got along-winded column in which, while quantifying the nudity in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, he also whines about those godless authors that have offended him so much. Regarding the "Golden Compass"…

The AFA is all a twitter about The Golden Compass

American Family Association -- is alerting Christians to the potential dangers of The Golden Compass. Because of Pullman's clearly articulated anti-Christian motives, AFA is warning all viewers to run from the film.

My guess is they recognise their Christian faith isn't all that secure.

By Gene Goldring (not verified) on 04 Nov 2007 #permalink

Oh, no! I've already promised my daughter to take her to The Golden Compass! And I bought her the book because she likes to read books that movies are based on! And I've seen Brokeback Mountain and Fahrenheit 9/11! And I've bought the DVDs! I'm doomed, doomed!

This really dates me, but when I was in catholic high school we were told it was a mortal sin (we would go straight to hell, don't pass go) to watch movies on the "Index". I took my chances and saw "And God Created Women" with Bridget Bardot. Back then the big sins were connected with sex - now they are political. What's next?

I'm already double doomed, Revere, but many thanks for the warning which will hopefully save future souls from the everlasting fire.

Funny - I intend to avoid "The Golden Compass" precisely because it stripped out all of the edgy stuff to make it safe for mass consumption.

By Caledonian (not verified) on 04 Nov 2007 #permalink

Have you seen Plugged In, the media review department of Focus on the Family? This is how they advertise themselves:

A Christian perspective on what to see at the box office, which TV shows are worth your time, and what music comes up clean.

And in their review of The Beatles Anthology 2, they say,

"Help" and "Got to Get You Into My Life" confess the need to rely on others for support.

Dude. Everybody knows that "Got to Get You Into My Life" is about acid. "I took a ride I didn't know what I would find there / Another road where maybe I could see some other kind of mind there." Come on! If they'd actually read the Beatles Anthology book, they would know these things.

Blake, the Beatles Anthology book is most likely black listed so they aren't allowed to read it!

By G in Indiana (not verified) on 04 Nov 2007 #permalink

http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/11/03/4995/
Can you encounter God by watching a movie, and be informed about your eternal soul, and should films be censored? The answer is yes.
I would like to add one more film that should be censored. It is a fictional account of the arrest US, transport to a prison in a foreign country, and torture by CIA operatives, of a terrorist suspect; who was later released and proven to be innocent. The film is entitled Rendition by Gavin Hood, and is based on the real life story of a Canadian citizen Maher Arar, who was arrested in Canada by the CIA.
This film should be censored because everyone knows we live in a Democracy, and the film is a lie. The US is only in Iraq to spread Democracy and help the people. The report that the US has killed over one million civilians in Iraq should also be censored, since it is a lie. Of course our God is superior the the God of Islam, period.
When the CIA or FBI arrests you as a terrorist suspect because you checked out a book on Islam in your local public library, sends you to a Haliburton built detention center in the US, then shoves an electric probe into your genitals; let us see if you do or do not pray to God for the suffering to end. When they put you on a waterboard, put the cloth over your face, and start pouring water into the cloth, which cuts off the oxygen to your brain, and causes you brain damage; let us see if you do or do not pray to God for mercy.
After Bush orders the use of tactical nuclear weapons on Iran within about 6 months; more or less, and Russia and China respond, firing their nuclear weapons at the US; let us see if you pray to God in the few seconds before you die.
Actually Science is the supreme good. It provides mankind with many blessings, and will save your soul. When nuclear weapons destroy most of humanity, and leaves a few survivors living in caves underground, these few survivors will praise Science as the absolute truth, which creates eternal progress.

herman: Already on the list. I hope you don't watch it, although you seem to know a lot about it. Very suspicious.

New Robert Redford flick? You mean the Cosmic Collisions planetarium show now playing at the American Museum of Natural History?

Also, nevermind, apparently, that they took out all references to "the Church" in the Golden Compass just to appease this kind of moron.

Revere,
Thank you for placing this film of the list. With this action I am now assured it is forever censored. We may have saved humanity.

Announcement to all readers,
Please be advised that Revere has now placed the film Rendition by Gavin Hood on the censored list. Therefore you are not allowed to go see it.

The fundies co-opted Harry Potter. If The Golden Compass becomes successful, they'll do the same.

...an increasing number of anti-American, anti-Christian, anti-American mainstream movies such as "The Da Vinci Code," "Brokeback Mountain," ...

That says "anti-American" twice, so these movies must be pretty bad.

Wait, um ... "The Da Vinci Code" was anti-American? "Brokeback Mountain" was anti-American AND anti-Christian?

For Halloween, I watched Roger Corman's The Masque of the Red Death (1964). It should be required viewing for atheist film fans. It starts by pitting the Satan-worshipping Prince Prospero against the good Christian villagers, but in the end [SPOILER ALERT], the Christian heroine is redeemed only when she loses her faith, and then The Personification of Pandemic Hemorrhagic Fever shows up to tell the Satanist Prince that there's no Devil and no God, only the certainty of death.

**** Four Stars!

This thread is funny and all, but am I the only one who finds it disturbing that there are really people out there this eager to connect everything to anti-Americanism, anti-Christianity and liberalism? It sounds so eerily fascist.

Of course, the author implies the tiny feeble brains of the christians shouldn't be expected to be capable making decisions for themselves. If your world view is not based on anything resembling common sense, then exposure to common sense may trigger a watershed event in your life, leaving them self empowered to seek a more fulfilled, moral, and happy existence. Certainly, its much more important to support a religious dogma from ancient times than to think for yourselves. Stay away from those movies dear christians, unless you're brave enough to open your eyes.

By The Stone (not verified) on 04 Nov 2007 #permalink

mollishka:

New Robert Redford flick? You mean the Cosmic Collisions planetarium show now playing at the American Museum of Natural History?

Ooh. I wonder if it'll be playing Boston soon.

My favorite movie / book that was banned was H. G. Wells ""The Shape of Things to Come"" (Book 1933 Movie 1936).

The book was banned for its depiction of Woodrow Wilson.

Arthur C. Clark urged Steven Spielberg to remake it but failed, as one of the principle villains (movie not book) was an artist.

While it is left of center (actually far left) it is a great book.

Since the Copy Wright has expired it?s available on line.

Revere: I would recommend this one for next summer?s beach vacation.
http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/w/wells/hg/w45th/

Quote from the film:
If we don't end war, war will end us.

I don't care if the book got 4.5 stars in 1363 Customer Reviews on Amazon

Quite right - I think all books get 4.5 stars on Amazon, don't they?

I just want to state for the record that witches are real.
I saw several elderly women on the bus lately that looked like witches, and they should be burned at the stake, just like they did in Salem.
Also, all religion is evil. Therefore all movies and books on religion should be censored.
Another thing that bothers me is Weiner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Princple, which states that it is not possible to simultaneously determine the position and momentum of a particle. I know what ultimate reality is; and therefore Heisenberg, and his nonsense regarding Quantum Physics is stupid. Are you going to tell me that the process of observing a photon determines whether it is observed as a wave or a particle?
What you see is what you get, period.
God does not exist because I was there during the Big Bang 14 billion years ago, and I did not see him at that time.
I recommend we burn all books on Quantum Physics.

The Stone,
Your post about the "tiny feeble brain of Christians" looks as stupid as my most recent dumb post about witches, to see if I could get a laugh.
You are obviously the source of absolute truth, sort of like the Wizard of Oz. And in your infinite wisdom, with your insight into ultimate reality; you know that you know that God does not exist.
Give me a break from the atheistic dogmatism, please; and state in a rational organized way the reasons why God does not exist.

Greg,
Dogma is an authoritative principle, belief, or statement of ideas or opinion, especially one considered to be absolutely true.

I remember when I was a youth that we took the list of banned movies put the Catholic church were the movies we should see if we could. list like that just make things more interesting to some.

I think that this may be the Robert Redford movie that is "bad"
Lions for Lambs
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0891527/

By uncle frogy (not verified) on 04 Nov 2007 #permalink

What a load of horse cakes.

Ban it, and they will see it!

What a bunch of bullocks!

A movieguide so they can remain in a zombie state of mind, what rubbish of a guide. How they judge the film is obsurd to say the least, I would not want to live my life in an environment of 'Soft Slavery' as religion is.

I hope THE GOLDEN COMPASS smashes at the box office!

How unsure of their religion they must be if they are so petrified of viewing or hearing of a dissenting view.

Jimmy Carter, Man from Plains is anti-Christian?

Yup, and Finding Nemo is anti-clownfish.

By Julie Stahlhut (not verified) on 05 Nov 2007 #permalink

Crap like this is why it's so easy for one to think that the Roamns fucked up BIG TIME when they stopped feeding Christians to the lions.

By Andrew Chase (not verified) on 07 Nov 2007 #permalink