Freethinker Sunday Sermonette: Bill Donohue and I agree

Bill Donohue is a demented, mean (evil?) and bat shit crazy head of a nasty coven called the Catholic League. Donohue's organization claims to represent 350,000 Catholics (yeah, right; and we're the Andrews Sisters), but since there are an estimated 67 million Catholics in the US and Canada, even by his own inflated estimate this is only 0.5%. You wouldn't think there would be much we would agree on. But I just found one. We atheists -- and it turns out, lots of Christians -- are out to get him and his mob of crazies:

Catholic League President Bill Donohue presented a paranoid side of his personality to Fox News Monday morning, declaring that “militant, dogmatic” atheists are “out to get” Catholics and dismantle American society.

“I’m talking about the extremists within [liberal] ranks who have become very, very vocal,” Donohue said. “And over the last several decades what we’ve seen is an all-out assault. This kind of new atheism. This militant dogmatic fundamentalist atheism out there to get us.” (David Edwards, Daniel Tencer, Rawstory)

Bill Donohue only has one side to his personality -- the paranoid side. It's not just atheists (most of us consider him good advertising for our point of view). Everyone is against Bill:

“And not just atheists — I’m talking about people who are disaffected Catholics and Protestants who are mutineers within their own religion, trying to change things,” Donohue argued.

And guess what? He prefers Marxists to the 99.5% of Catholics who are disaffected from the One True Religion (as represented by Bill Donohue's own Catholic League):

“Whatever you might say about the Marxists, they wanted to tear down society to put something new in,” Donohue said. “But the new radicals are the nihilists, all they want to do is tear down the cultural edifice of American society. They are intellectually spent, they have nothing to offer.”

So isn't a Marxist atheist better than your average Catholic? One thing for sure. Penn and Teller aren't. They're Nazis:

Donohue also discussed a recent episode of the Showtime series Penn & Teller: Bullshit! that focuses on the history of the Catholic Church, and in which Penn Jillette concludes: “If your morality is governed by anything personal, ethical, rational or humanitarian, then the Vatican is bullshit.”

“This was the most Nazi-like assault,” Donohue said. “The most unrelenting half an hour of bashing I’ve ever seen.”

It's unclear what bothers Donohue about this. The fact that a person could have a personal, ethical, rational or humanitarian belief, or that if he or she did have one it would put them in contradiction with the Vatican. I'd be willing to bet that if Donohue were asked point blank if he thought a person could have a personal, ethical, rational or humanitarian belief system he would assert that this contradicted Vatican teaching You aren't allowed your own personal, ethical, rational or humanitarian belief system in Bill Donohue's world. The Vatican supplies it for you. So Penn and Teller are Nazis because they disagree with Bill Donohue.

Demented and nasty old men like Bill Donohue like to call people Nazis because they know it's bad although they really don't know much about Nazis. If they did, they'd also know about the collusion of the Vatican with the Nazis during World War II.

Of course Donohue is also hawking his book, Secular Sabotage: How Liberals Are Destroying Religion and Culture in America. I wonder if it has a chapter on pedophilia.

Yes, Bill. We agree. We're out to get you.Not because you're a Catholic. Because you're a douchebag.

Addendum: Several commenters have suggested that "douchebag" is both too gender specific and not sufficiently explicit of the odor emanating from Donohue and his tiny gang of brownshirts. Enema bag, manure pile and cat litter box have been suggested as alternatives. I invite commenters to weigh in on the most appropriate description.


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Not only are douche bags feminine products, but they are soooo much warmer, kinder, gentler than Bill.

"Enema bag" is much more fitting.

Shouldn't the phrase be "nasty coven called the Catholic league"? And BTW, don't you need a minimum of thirteen to have a coven?

One more thing, which Andrew Sister wrote this, and how do you achieve such tight harmonies?

Donahue is a blowhard, one of PZ Myers' arch nemeses.

And it's "Andrews sisters."

I didn't read the link, but I think you would have mentioned this if it were addressed in there: Does he think that the sex abuse lawsuits were/are part of a vast conspiracy to destroy the Catholic Church?

Actually a more fitting description of Donohue would be a manure pile or a cat litter box. Either way, the area is full of s%$# and reeks.

George.w -- A douche bag is a useless relic of a patriarchal, misogynistic past.

Say what???

There's nothing misogynistic about a douche bag -- unless it's used to denigrate or flog a woman. Nothing useless or relic-like, either. (I'm not sure about the patriarchal part, though no authoritarian male ever demanded that I use or not use one or said I was "less than him" because I do use one). In fact, douche bags are still very useful for treating those pesky yeast infections that women get every so often....

Actually a more fitting description of Donohue would be a manure pile or a cat litter box.

Not accurate, either. Manure is useful as fertilizer - it has lots of things that help plants grow. Not true of Donohue. Maybe he is more like the odor of a manure pile. And cat litter boxes are usually useful by limiting the number of little surprises found in nooks and crannies and reducing the kinds of Donohueodor associated with manure piles.

By natural cynic (not verified) on 06 Sep 2009 #permalink

George.w -- My mistake. I forgot to put on my swami hat before reading your post and I wasn't born until 1960. Considering those "icky women" ads stopped running ... oh... about fifty years ago and women still use douche bags today, you might want to update your reference collection and targets for misogynistic, patriarchal accusations -- (like the need for fair wages, for example, or that damned "glass ceiling," or "male as normative," etc).

Considering those "icky women" ads stopped running ... oh... about fifty years ago and women still use douche bags today, you might want to update your reference collection and targets for misogynistic, patriarchal accusations...

Fair enough.

Colostomy bag. Full of shit, leaks out shit. And the smell!

Cicely -- Now you're talking! Bill Donohue is a colostomy bag. That's it!

Douchebag is a male-specific insult. It refers to the appeal, potency, and desirability of the insultee's, um, nozzle. I find it entirely appropriate in this situation. I'll confess I have been known to apply it to my female senator - it may not be appropriate but it seems to suit her somehow.

MORON - a person that always has more to say on a subject, despite the fact that no one is listening.

BILLO - anyone with only half a brain (Bill O'Reilly).

BECK - brain (Glen Beck)

Have a look at Countdown with Keith Olbermann, I have not stopped laughing.

I go for kitty litter, although I have trouble framing it so that it's obviously insulting.

Constant shoveling of something smelly, and when I had two cats, it was a substantial portion of my household trash stream.

By Uncle Glenny (not verified) on 06 Sep 2009 #permalink

Uncle Glenny,

How about.......

CAT BALL - A ball ...... (No body wants to touch it)

Sure women still use douches today, but most doctors would agree that in most cases douching is not necessary and may actually throw the ecology of the vagina off more than it already is in the case of yeast infection or vaginitis. Douchebags are unnecessary, and can hurt women. Sounds pretty apt to me.

Linda -- thanks for the insight. Must be a male thing. I've never heard "douche bag" used as an insult before.

Beth -- Actually, a little plain yogurt diluted with purified water does wonders for a vaginal infection and also replaces healthy bacteria killed by antibiotics (which I have to take). Got the recipe from my GYN. I'm good with that.

As for douching just to douche... I agree with you. It is unnecessary and potentially unhealthy.

Donohue is such a whacko! Just look at all the destruction and chaos him and his 350K followers have brought to the world!

Imagine what he could do if had 1,000,000,000 followers, some of whom were trying to get to heaven the easy way - via suicide bombing!

Good thing suicide is a mortal sin for Catholics!


This thread is an example showing fundamentalist secular scientism to be no better than religious fundamentalism. Much of what has been said here is devoid of logic, not backed up by supporting evidence, and is essentially a venting post for hate.

Also, when you talk about other Christians, you are likely talking about a sect of Christian Fundamentalists who are modern day Huguenots still fighting the war against the 16th century church, same folks behind the KKK hate against African Americans, Jews and Catholics. Yes, they still exist.

Fundamentalists of any religion or secular science/philosophy are dangerous due to their intolerance and hate for differing beliefs, and Donahue may or may not be one. I have not seen any show of his for over 20 years. But his paranoia may be fueled by 3 centuries of anti-Catholicism in British North America and US. Many Catholics were sent to the colonies as indentured servants following the Cromwell genocide and ethnic cleansing in the 17th century, which was just another way of saying "white slave", main difference is they could be free after putting in their slave time. Catholics also could not vote in some states or run for office. Just providing a bit of historical background for better understanding.

As for this comment: "Penn Jillette concludes: âIf your morality is governed by anything personal, ethical, rational or humanitarian, then the Vatican is bullshit.â "

I believe this comment constitutes what is termed hate speech and other than just saying it is so, it seems not to be supported by much evidence (although I did not watch the show).

And if you want to talk about collusion with the Nazis, you need not looks so far across the ocean as the Vatican. You can look at some of Americas leading corporations, such as Standard Oil, and bankers which included Prescott Bush. And if you want to look across the ocean, you can look at BIS in Switzerland, today some call it the central bank of all central banks (does not create money, just sets the regulations for other central banks to follow today, including the Fed). The UN called on it to be disbanded after the war due to it's toll in financing Hitler, this call was ignored.

The Vatican collusion with the Nazis is largely a myth perpetuated by Communist Propaganda in any event. They had no power to stop Hitler and speaking out publicly would have been suicide given they were forced in 1933 to agree to keep out of politics and separate church from state. Hitler would simply have just called the Catholic Church Communist activity centers and shut them down.

FDR on the other hand stood aside and did nothing as USD and technology were flowing out of the US during a Great Depression and helping Hitler buildup his military from the post-Versailles ruins. During the war, he refused ships holding Jewish refugees admission and forced them to head back to Europe or Palestine (where British were themselves restricting immigration).

PFT - I fear you are wasting your time trying to share the truth.
Joe Kennedy Sr is(was) a prime example of one person's actions being used against a religious (and ethnic) group. Still, he managed to get his sons elected to office and keep them there, no matter what.

I suggest "blivet", in the "10 pounds of manure in a five pound bag" sense.

I suggest "Democrat" as in the blowhard sense.

Locutus: You may suggest it to him. But he's a Republican of the far Right variety (which is most of the Party these days).

Bill D. sounds like the current crop running Congress - he and his followers are quite Borg-like.
After all, resistance is futile...just ask Rahm.