Why Jade scares me.

OK, if you clicked through the links in my answers to the ABC meme, you know an embarrassing personal detail about me: I rather enjoy watching America's Next Top Model. (Truth be told, I wouldn't enjoy it nearly so much were it not enhanced by the reading of snarky episode recaps by Potes. And, as it turns out, regular commenter Uncle Fishy knows Potes from when he lived in Providence -- so I had to read the recaps.)

If you don't like wallowing in the depravity of others (which is to say, my depravity), feel free to go read a classic post from the vault. Otherwise, read on.

So, Top Model is one of those shows wherein we learn that there is no obvious correlation between a pretty face and a healthy intellect. Nor, judging from the show, is there an obvious correlation between a pretty face and a lack of intellectual oomph. One of the contestants this season is a Georgetown graduate, and another graduated from college with a chemistry degree and is considering going into drug research -- as a scientist, not a subject -- if her dream of being a model falls through. Despite what you might infer from some of the poses into which they are being coaxed, their heads are not empty.

And then there's Jade.

Jade's head is not empty, but it is scary. Week by week, Jade has been waging war on the English language. (The English language, sadly, has not seen fit to mount a resistance.) And, there are a few specific details about Jade that have been disclosed which really scare the bejeezus out of me:


  1. Jade's mom
    does "energy work" and "pulls the energy of the universe through her hands".
  2. Jade thinks elephants are part of the dinosaur family. (Yes, you read that right.)
  3. After being a supermodel, Jade is considering being a kindergarten teacher.

Parents of future kindergarteners, be warned!

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If you enjoy the recaps, you should check out http://fourfour.typepad.com. They are excellent, and although I've stopped watching it, I still read him with gusto.

By Liz Tracey (not verified) on 04 May 2006 #permalink

*sigh* Yes, yes, I did a post on Jade myself... well sort of. I don't know that she's so much scary as sad. To be that vapid and unaware of said vapidity, (or "vapidness" as she would undoubtedly say) *shaking head* is a tragedy. I think her mother should be brought into court for intellectual neglect. Poor thing. Why would you fear someone so harmless. If she should corner you, just say, "WAIT! Your epidermis is SHOWING!!!" That should give you enough time to run away.