Offline, oh gods!

For the next few days, my beloved Mac 12" Powerbook is going in for intestinal surgery - it seems to have lost connection with its wireless, DVD/RW and microphone, which indicates Major Problems (although I do recall a desktop that had dust gathered on a particular point and shorted it out once, so who knows?). Hence I will be stuck with (I can hardly bring myself to say it) Windows XP (quick, nurse! The soap!). So I won't be configured to post, or read mail, or do work, so I may as well go for a walk or exercise or eat chocolate. This probably means I'm offline until Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I might even have to speak to actual people.

I know! I'll take up smoking again. It worked so well for me before...

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Hey, now John is offline, we can trash his blog. Bwahahahaha!

Anyone for a game of Mornington Crescent?

Bob

Oxford Street

NO! You may not do this unless and until you explain what the hell Mornington Crescent actually is and how it is played. I have heard mentions of it for years. But If I can't do it, neither can you...

Hyde Park Corner

John - just follow, you'll pick it up as we go along. Or check to see if it was played on the repeat of ISIHAC this week.

Bob

I'm going for the Angel Islington Option:

Kensal Green!

How is John supposed to pick it up as we go along if you play the Angel Islington Option?

Oh well.

Monument (for Bank)

Oh, just to help John:

Blackfriars

(it also helps us: we won't have to explain why I was able to cross when below the line)

Bob

This whole game is just going west; Notting Hill Gate

Actually, I think John may understand it better if we DON'T simplify the game too much. So:

Charing Cross

"I know the rules of Calvinball."

I think that this statement is an oxymoron!

And anyway not knowing the rules to Calvinball is in no way equivalent to not knowing the rules to Mornington Cresent.

Well, before anyone else does it:

Dollis Hill

Bob

As it's the second Tuesday of the month (at least, it here in London), I can use the South London doubletwist gambit and play:

New Cross Gate

Now what you gonna do?

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 08 May 2007 #permalink

Aagh. Sneaky. OK, about all I can do is

Elephant and Castle

Bob

Before this goes any further are we playing the 'Baader-Meinhof Variation' or is this strict '1891 Modified Blavatsky Death Rules'?

Bob

Well, I'm going for Kennington, obviously - and you know where I'm going next, don't you?

Thony

Isn't it obvious? It's May, after all.

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 08 May 2007 #permalink

Thony

Isn't it obvious? It's May, after all.

Sorry, that should have read "It's May of a non-leap year, after all".

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 08 May 2007 #permalink

Robin - I know where you want to go. But you're on the wrong escalator after I go -

St. John's Wood.

Bob

Damn - missed that!

Having said that, I'm not sure it's permitted under the rules we're using; but rather than call on John to make a ruling (we don't want a repetition of what happened nearby last year - and it was an Aussie making the ruling then as well), I'll keep going.

Since the Angel, Islington option has been invoked, I think I can play a safety move.

Amersham.

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 08 May 2007 #permalink

Amersham? AMERSHAM?

Oh, well. Ickenham, I suppose.

Bob
P.S. of course my move was allowed: we're on BST. Of course, that's what always confused the Aussies.

Letting an Aussie arbitrate in a game of Mornington Crescent is like asking an evilutionist to judge a beauty contest.

Clapham Common.

It has to be:

Tooting Broadway.

Well, we might be on BST, but it's last quarter moon today - there's an argument that has to fall on the same calendar day as the move, not just within 24 hours. On the other hand, letting an Aussie decide whether it's the same calendar day introduces a further level of variability. They can only be expected to get it right half the time.

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 08 May 2007 #permalink

For John's benefit...

You're probably wondering why I was allowed to play Tooting Broadway after the Amersham-Ickenham sequence (there's a reason I called Amersham a safety move); that's because having previously played the Angel Islington Option, when Thony moved to Clapham Common he cleared the ban.

By Robin Levett (not verified) on 09 May 2007 #permalink

You are all awful, awful people and I don't like any of you. Mocking the foreigner. How very... British.

Only Australians are allowed to mock foreigners. When we do it, it is cute.

Mocking? No, no. If we were mocking we would ask for the back-payment on the rent.

Oh, and East Acton.

Bob

"Only Australians are allowed to mock foreigners. When we do it, it is cute."

Do Australians know how to mock? I thought that which passes for humour in Australia goes from the mild i.e. brutally rude to the heavy i.e. totally insulting but what do I know I'm just a whinging POM!

One to make the Aussies feel at home; Earls Court.

Westbourne Park.

Bob

Whoops, Thony! Looks like you got distracted by your Australophobia. After Earls Court, in a backwards Hammersmith situation like the one we're in, it's all over bar the shouting, isn't it? There was really nothing Bob could do except postpone the inevitable by maybe a couple of moves. He wisely chose to cut to the chase. So now I can move

Mornington Crescent.

Jason

I adjudicate this to be the winning move. Besides I have my Mac back now, and the blog will resume shortly...