Sinners: You Caused the Drought

Never mind the debate on science. We've got a new approach cooking up here. It's all about sin.

A RADICAL Christian group with the ear of prominent politicians has blamed "sinful" Australians for the nation's record drought.

Catch the Fires Ministries, which has links to several prominent politicians including Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, has hired Festival Hall so 5000 of its followers can pray for rain on Australia Day.

Leader Danny Nalliah said moral decline, not climate change, was responsible for the drought.

"Australia has turned away from Almighty God ... the sinful condition of mankind has contributed to the stem of rainfall," he said.

[source]

Nalliah is famous in Australia for Muslim bashing. Too bad, because Muslims are really really good a praying, and maybe they could help. Indeed, another cleric, Mohammed Omran, of the Muslim faith, has also called for prayer to end the drought.

Anyway, we need to bring these people over to the American South, where there is currently a killing drought. And, they should fit in very nicely.

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This needs to be a contest to see which sect can actually bring on the rain. Have each sect pray for rain to show within three days. Three days later the next sect gets to pray. Let's see who can actually talk their god into it.

I'm wondering why they need 5,000 to pray. Is god deaf and can only hear the prayer if it's really loud? Or does he only listen to production line prayers from the masses? I guess that's why Catholic mass is so popular....

And you know what? They are amongst those who would be counted as sinners. Even if the country went to a flat-out Christian theocracy, they would still be a nation of sinners.

So really, they should just STFU.

Perhaps this will become the new explanation for global warming as well, if the "the sun did it" thing doesn't work out.

What's their major malfunction? Rain on Australia Day? And ruin my bloody barbecue? No thanks.

Now I'm going to have to double my sinning just to make sure I can listen to the Hottest 100 with some tinnies in the sun.

I'll begin by getting drunk and coveting my neighbours oxen. They're bloody good ones.