OK we have room for one engineer joke:
A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.
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A mathemetician, a physicist and an engineer were standing ten meters away from a beautiful woman. They were each asked how many steps would it take to reach the woman if each step covered half the remaining distance.
The mathemetician quickly replied that it was impossible to reach the woman.
The physicist, after modeling the problem various ways, eventually agreed with the mathemetician.
The engineer replied, "The answer is five, for all practical purposes."
Q: How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Engineers aren't funny.
During the French Revolution, a priest, a nobleman, and an engineer were found gulty of crimes against the Revolution and sentenced to the guillotine. The priest was led to it first. He told the executioner, "I prefer to meet my maker face to face. Lie me down facing up."
This was done, the lever was thrown... and the guillotine blade refused to move!
"This is a sign from God," exclaimed the priest. The crowd called for his release, and he was led away.
The nobleman - thinking there may be something here - also insisted on being face up. The lever was pulled... and the blade refused to move!
The crowd called for the nobelman's release also, and he was led away.
The engineer also asked to lie facing up. As the executioner reached for the lever, the engineer said, "Hey, I think I see your problem."
I love it. Who says engineers have no sense of humor?
I am an engineer. I have three cats. OTOH, I have absolutely no sense of humour. None at all. Now excuse me while I go try out that cat yodelling thing....
Two engineering students are trying to determine what sort of engineer God must have been to have designed Man. The first claims that God must be an mechanical engineer, noting the levers of the bones and muscles. The second argues that God must be a mechanical engineer, for the Nervous system's computational abilities.
So they took their question to the Biology department, and asked the instructor what his opinion was. "A Civil Engineer" He replied;
"Who else would be run a sewer system through the playground?"