Latest Nixon Tapes: Targeting PBS

Is this a real transcript? Or is this an onion production?

what bob said.

i mean... really? sesame street...?

No, but it's not too far off from the real thing:

* We're going to [put] more of these little Negro bastards on the welfare rolls at $2,400 a family â let people like Pat Moynihan and [special consultant] Leonard Garment and others believe in all that crap. But I don't believe in it. Work, work â throw 'em off the rolls. That's the key.

* I have the greatest affection for them but I know they're not going to make it for 500 years. They aren't. You know it, too. The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like.

* Archie is sitting here with his hippie son-in-law, married to the screwball daughter. The son-in-law apparently goes both ways. This guy. He's obviously queer â wears an ascot â but not offensively so. Very clever. Uses nice language. Shows pictures of his parents. And so Arch goes down to the bar. Sees his best friend, who used to play professional football. Virile, strong, this and that. Then the fairy comes into the bar.
I don't mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don't think you glorify it on public television, homosexuality, even more than you glorify whores. We all know we have weaknesses. But, goddammit, what do you think that does to kids? You know what happened to the Greeks! Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo. We all know that. So was Socrates.

* But it's not just the ratty part of town. The upper class in San Francisco is that way. The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time â it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco.
Decorators. They got to do something. But we don't have to glorify it. You know one of the reasons fashions have made women look so terrible is because the goddamned designers hate women. Designers taking it out on the women. Now they're trying to get some more sexy things coming on again.

* There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape.

"I don't mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don't think you glorify it on public television"

So he's more liberal than the current Republican Party on that particular issue!

Right. As EMJ says, this is a spoof, but one of those spoofs that looks so real that it is more of a fake than a spoof.