Is The Friday News Dump A Pernicious Falsehood?

Member of the press are so cute. They evolve so slowly. They are like monotremes or something.

It is said again and again that a) government agencies and other entities, especially things like the White House, dump their news late on Fridays because this avoids the normal five-day news cycle and allows hot stories to cool off, and possibly be ignored by Monday and, b) that doesn't really work any more because of social media and cable news, but still c) we will repeat meme one endlessly anyway so that we can look very smart by then repeating memes b) which brings us to d) rinse and repeat.

Got that?

If not, just turn on any news show and watch it happening every few minutes before your very eyes.

This last Friday, during the encroachment by Harvey on Texas, there seemed to be a lager and stinkier than average Trump Dump in which a white supremacist mysteriously left the white house, Trump signed the official order to totally screw over transsexual people in (or planning to join) the military, and he issued the most controversial presidential pardon ever issued, even more controversial than the pardoning of Nixon (because at least Ford had an excuse for doing that, however lame).

Dear The Press: No. Three major (or at least one important and two major) news stories at once do not in fact get buried under a hurricane, or ignore because friday. Rather, the dump itself becomes a facilitating story. This compels all the news story to the proverbial front page, and it makes the front page as big as it needs to be to hold them. There is no diminution of the individual stories, but rather, they grow even bigger than they ever were.

So what is going on? Something that is right in front of the press but that the press has not yet noticed, amazingly.

I won't say that Trump is a mater of media. He is a master of nothing. He lacks the qualities people have to become a master of something, and he lacks the intelligence to retain mastery even if he gets close by practicing something a lot for half an afternoon.

But, he does have a lot of experience in media, and he knows how a media cycle works. It works like this: You work all week on a show, then the show goes on as scheduled, then you go on vacation for a couple of days (golfing), then you go back to work. For some reason, that he does not understand, the cycle in the White House has him working on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. So, show time is on Friday late PM, and you go golfing on Saturday and Sunday.

That's it. No strategic dumping, no planning, no outsmarting. Just a simple pretty close to Pavlovian process. Reminder: Almost all the Friday Trump Dumps are his, not from his staff or any group of thoughtful media managers. Even the description I give above is more planned out than that. Trump just builds up some material, and over time the urge to dispense with it comes and goes a little, then comes and goes a bit more urgency, then gets to a kind of point of no return and ....

Trump Dump.

And, it usually happens on Friday, and after he dumps, he feels like going golfing.

That's it. Nothing less simple. No mind at work here. Please stop assuming there is a mind at work here. There is not one.

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As a child, long before her sex-change operation, our future first woman president Donna Jean Trump loved to play with dolls and wear lipstick and dress in mommy’s clothing. She was fascinated with the story of Christine Jorgensen who changed from being a man to a woman. Trump always felt like Daddy’s Little Girl and longed to carry a purse and wear high heels. Now the president-elect has decreed that she will no longer need a military officer carrying “the football”, because she herself will schlepp the nuclear release codes with her at all times in a large, stylish purse to be a major facet of the Trump monetization of the American presidency. Trump’s daughter will continue to show off diamond jewelry at all major international meetings, and President Trumpette will market Trump Number Five as a perfume and Trump Mink Coats and Trump Scarves and Handbags.

The White House will have two first ladies, Donna Jean as First Lady Number One and whatever wife is in effect at the time as First Lady Number Two. Certain visiting world leaders, such as Xi Jinpeng of China, will be advised to undergo the same sex-change procedure as The Donald and become the woman that they always were. It is too late for Xitler to have his feet bound into dainty little mince-moccasins, but President Trumpette looks foward to going shopping for shoes and dresses with the re-gendered Chinese leader, Lady Xi Jinping. Ms. Trump will also order the renaming of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI headquarters as the Jean Seberg Building.

Oh, how eager Trump is to stop taking testosterone and to stop pretending to be a man. Instead of putting his manhood on hold for four years like President George Herber Walker Bush did in 1988, our first woman president Donna Jean Trump will chuck manhood forever and live out the lifelong erotic dreams of being a natural woman. Eating Wheaties as a child and seeing Bruce Jenner on the cereal box, little Donalda saw the future Caitlin trapped in the body of a man. Trump envies the hero worship bestowed on Bradley Manning and hopes to win the real love of the people by becoming the female that he has always been. After the sex-change operation, Trump hopes one day to marry Robert DeNiro or Brad Pitt. Trump will invite his fellow cross-dressers the Seattle She-Hawks to the White House every year, whether they win or lose or even play in the Super Bowl. Madame Trumpette rejoices in the idea of attending foreign head-of-state funerals dressed in a black gown and wearing a black veil of mourning.

Donna Jean Trump hopes to put the detested, deplorable and failed masculine Trump behind her and to blossom out as the heart-throb object of male desire that she has always imagined herself to be, with her swishy way of walking and her limp handshake. President Trumpette will abolish the White House Press Office and make all official presidential announcements through her Twitter account. After serving as the first woman president, Donna Jean will go on a trimphant road show holding up the Torch of Liberty in the flowing female robes of a real-life Statue of Liberty.

By White House Pr… (not verified) on 26 Aug 2017 #permalink

You got it loser that trump is for sure.

By Marge Cullen (not verified) on 26 Aug 2017 #permalink

Bravo Arthur :)

By Doug Alder (not verified) on 26 Aug 2017 #permalink

I get a wry laugh when I read the anti-Trump posts here and elsewhere but I would feel a lot better if I saw some evidence that anyone who voted for him would not vote for him again if another election was held. Most Republican voters I know don't seem too upset about anything he's said or done. Maybe they think it's all made up by the liberal media or whatever or maybe they actually like border walls, 2nd class citizenship for "certain groups", pardons for crooked sheriffs, and continued warfare that doesn't involve a draft of their children.

By Tyvor Winn (not verified) on 27 Aug 2017 #permalink

For a large section it's because of the colour of the gent who was there before. Until that legacy is removed and the taint of his skin removed from WASP America, they'll put up with him as "Better than the alternative".

"pardons for crooked sheriffs"

He can't pardon him. He can write the order, but it has no weight.

Unless it's done on leaving the whitehouse, he can't do squat other than write a letter saying "I don't want you to".

> issued the most controversial presidential pardon ever issued

Greg Laden appears to have been unhinged by Trump.

Mike appears to be writing in an alternate reality.

Is there anything that requires the court to obey trump? The federal judge could just throw the ex sherrif in jail anyway.

Trump pardons this racist to keep his base happy. Kelly agrees not to make a big deal out of it as long as Trump agrees to shitcan the Nazi sympathizer Gorka, getting his rancid views, fake degrees and fake credentials out of the White House.