I don't think I mentioned this, but I'm on a bit of a staycation this week. I figured, what the heck? After coming home from Skepticon I could do with a little R&R. Of course, fool that I am, I still can't resist blogging a bit. On the other hand, the day before Thanksgiving I realize I should dial it back a bit and keep it brief. Everyone in the US (which, sorry, international readers, still make up the vast majority of my readers) is generally busy getting ready and might not have time for checking in with their favorite blogs, particularly blogs of bloggers known for their logorrhea, as I am. Besides, brevity is not what I normally do; so challenging myself is sometimes a good thing. Also, there's a rather large topic I have to take on for my not-so-secret other blog on Monday, and I'm sure I'll have something to observe on Friday.
In the meantime, I saw a fun little bit of whimsy from Edzard Ernst that he calls Who wants to join in the fun and play BULLSHIT BINGO with me? Basically, it's an example of the most convoluted pseudoscientific language written in support of or about alternative medicine modalities. Kimball Atwood used to have a term for it, too. He called it the Weasel Words of Woo. Ernst's rationale was as follows:
One thing that has often irritated me – alright, I admit it: sometimes it even infuriated me – is the pseudoscientific language of authors writing about alternative medicine. Reading publications in this area often seems to me like being in the middle of a game of ‘bullshit bingo’ (I am afraid that some of the commentators on this blog have importantly contributed to this phenomenon). In an article of 2004, I once discussed this issue in some detail and concluded that “… pseudo-scientific language … can be seen as an attempt to present nonsense as science…this misleads patients and can thus endanger their health…” For this paper, I had focussed on examples from the ‘bioresonance’- literature – more by coincidence than by design, I should add. I could have selected any other alternative treatment or diagnostic method; the use of pseudoscientific language is truly endemic in alternative medicine.
No kidding. I used to have a whole weekly feature that more or less "celebrated"—OK, mocked—examples of this tendency. Unbelievably, it ran for a few years, pretty much every Friday, and I called it Your Friday Dose of Woo. In any case, Ernst's post, which you really should read because it has five hilarious examples of pseudoscientific nonsense, "inspired" me to look for some of my favorite examples of such language that I've encountered over the years.
Of course, any such "contest" would be nothing without at least one entry from Lionel Milgrom. Here we have, from an astounding paper that I encountered years ago:
L. R. Milgrom (2006). Towards a New Model of the Homeopathic Process Based on Quantum Field Theory. Forsch Komplementärmed 2006;13:174-183.
My favorite quote:
Quantum theory’s notions of non-locality and entanglement have previously informed attempts to model the therapeutic process. Of these, Weak Quantum Theory (WQT) and Patient- Practitioner-Remedy (PPR) entanglement are developing into mathematically- based models of homeopathy. Objective: The present study attempted to identify fundamental concepts within quantum field theory (QFT) that could be used to broaden the scope of PPR entanglement models, prior to constructing a more rigorous mathematical treatment. Methods: In QFT, particles and forces are considered as fully interacting relativistic quantum matter and force fields, respectively. These interactions are visualized graphically as spacetime Feynman diagrams. Further, these interacting field systems can have ground states with broken symmetry; the so-called Higgs field being responsible for this symmetry breaking. In the new model, patient, practitioner and remedy are imagined as fully interacting quantum-like fields; patients and practitioners in terms of quantum matter-type fields, and remedies and diseases as quantum interaction-type fields. Results: Disease manifestation by the Vital Force (Vf) could be an event similar to spontaneous symmetry breaking in QFT: the curative remedy acting to restore the broken symmetry of the Vf field. Entanglement between patient, practitioner, and remedy might be representable as Feynman-like diagrams. Conclusion: QFT demonstrates that quantum properties can be physical without being observable. Thus, an underlying similarity in discourse could exist between homeopathy and quantum theory which could be useful for modelling the homeopathic process. This preliminary investigation also suggested that key elements of previous quantum models of the homeopathic process, may become unified within this new QFT-type approach.
Ha! Top that, if you can! Oh, wait. Milgrom can. He always can, as I learned long ago:
"Torque-Like" Action of Remedies and Diseases on the Vital Force and Their Consequences for Homeopathic Treatment
The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, Nov 2006, Vol. 12, No. 9 : 915-929
Lionel R. Milgrom, Ph.D., F.R.S.C., R.S.Hom.
Department of Chemistry, Imperial College London, London, UK.
In this paper, Milgrom even takes the term "vital force" (you know, the "life energy" that the vitalistic nature of homeopathy ascribes to life, much like the qi of traditional Chinese medicine) and makes an actual mathematical variable out of it, Vf. Then woo ensues:
Based on this conjecture, it has been possible to develop a model of the Vf as if it behaved like a gyroscopic entity. This began life as a qualitative metaphor that used the well known properties of gyroscopes to illustrate the actions of the Vf in response to disease and remedies.18 Thus, once its flywheel is set spinning at high speed, a real gyroscope stands erect with respect to the Earth’s gravitational field and will strongly resist any external lateral forces that try to topple the gyroscope…A healthy Vf may be likened to a fully upright gyroscope with a rapidly spinning flywheel. Lateral forces, therefore, are akin to those stressors that can push the organism into disease states that are resisted easily by a healthy Vf and thrown off centrifugally to the organism’s extremities. Acute disease expression may be likened to the wobbling of the Vf gyroscope after being acted upon by a strong force, prior to the Vf gyroscope resuming its healthy upright stance. A weaker Vf, however, is more like a gyroscope whose flywheel has slowed down so that it is less stable in an upright position. In this situation, the Vf is less able to resist those stressors that push the organism over into disease states. Consequently, the Vf begins to precess (i.e., express symptoms of disease): The greater the amount of precession, the more chronic the disease state and the greater its symptom expression will be. And the slower the Vf gyroscope’s “flywheel” spins, the less able it is to throw off the disease.
Within this qualitative metaphor, the therapeutic homeopathic remedy can be seen as that force that, when applied to the Vf gyroscope’s flywheel, causes it to speed up, spin faster, and throw off the disease state. Also, the term “diseased” may be applied to those inherited and environmental stressors that could exert a braking effect on the Vf gyroscope’s flywheel. These would include constitutional factors that could give rise to “friction in the bearings” (e.g., inherited imperfections in the Vf gyroscope’s manufacture) and environmental factors giving rise to “friction on the flywheel” (e.g., poor diet, housing, and air quality, and dysfunctional relationships, etc.)
Wow. Just wow.
I'll limit myself to three, finishing with (of course!) the EPFX / QXCI Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface:
The EPFX/QXCI is a state of the art evoked potential bio-feedback system for stress detection and stress reduction, designed by a Complementary Health Practitioner, Professor Bill Nelson. See his article, “The EPFX and The Verbal Mind”.
During testing, the EPFX/QXCI device resonates with thousands of tissues, organs, nutrients, toxins and allergens for one hundredth of a second each, and records the degree to which your body reacts. This type of rapid testing is known as the Xrroid process.
The stress of living in today’s environmentally complicated world can lead to many pressures upon the body system. These stresses often result in a lowered immune system, chronic pain, low performance, depression, insomnia and emotional ups and downs. The EPFX/QXCI is an extraordinary device that can help balance the over-stressed body system. Through its approach it can tabulate your system’s adrenal level, its ability to heal, the flow of energy through your system, levels of water and oxygen in your body, as well as your cellular health. It measures thousands of different parameters of your body system including spinal energy flow and toxicity. The EPFX/QXCI can help correct underlying causes of allergies, food sensitivities, weight gain, digestive and bowel problems, stress, fatigue, insomnia, depression, arthritis, skin problems, headaches and migraines. Best of all, it can not only read these imbalances, but it can help correct them because it works on 20 separate channels simultaneously, talking back and forth with your body, making corrections as it goes. All corrections are made through the skin — nothing is internal. And it does this — not through bio-chemistry, the way of traditional medicine – but through bio-physics! This is quantum mechanics — once the physics of the body is balanced, the chemistry follows of its own accord. The EPFX/QXCI has an accuracy founded in 20 years of research in the field of biofeedback medicine. The EPFX/QXCI scans the body and assists in detailed assessment, helping to correct the body via homeopathic bio-resonance auto frequencies. The treatments and tests are noninvasive and relaxing! The program enhances clients’ general health, increases wellness through awareness, improves performance, increases energy levels, relaxes and decreases stress.
Your task, should you decide to accept it, is to see if you can show me examples of this sort of extravagant pseudoscientific language that equal or top the three examples I provided above. If I like any of them enough, particularly if they're associated with a target topic worthy of an installment of Your Friday Dose of Woo, you might just see it there sometime soon.
So go on! See if you can show me that you can destroy a bovine excrement meter!
And happy Thanksgiving!
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Only Orac could write a large paragraph pointing out how brief this blog was going to be! (Followed by a large blog).
Gotta love him.
I'll have to run this past the (real!) quantum information theorists in my department. Their peals of helpless laughter would probably enliven the holidays quite a bit.
The prose brings to mind the Sokal hoax -- it reads like a parody of itself.
I was also thinking about some computer generated text.
I am sure that Richard Feynman would have been appalled at seeing his name and work used in this context.
There's a book out, Classic Feynman: All the Adventures of a Curious Character. It contains many of his stories and a CD containing a talk he gave during the '70's-Los Alamos from Below, his account of what is was like to work on the Manhattan Project as an underling. It is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I highly recommend it.
I always like to interact with people as if I were a gyroscopic entity.
Torque-Like” Action of Remedies and Diseases on the Vital Force and Their Consequences for Homeopathic Treatment
I haven't had my coffee yet and I read this as "Tongue-Like Action."
Whilst I do not select these entries entirely because of their subtle and arcane cargo cultic language I do believe that their overall, global level of b#llsh!tterie merits special recognition (the titles alone are rather telling)
They encompass both life and social science.
( note that these are available at numerous altie sources)
- Food Fascists- GMO and Pesticide Manufacturers Down and Dirty ( 2014) Richard Gale and Gary Null
- The Wolves of Psycho Street: America's Economic Enslavement by the Psychopathic Corporate Elite ( 2013)
Richard Gale and Gary Null
Similarly, Teresa Conrick has produced mind-shatteringly abysmal pseudo-physiology about the microbiome at AoA
Dr. Milgrom is quite the practitioner of quantum bogodynamics. He's producing enough bogons that we can approximate that field classically, as a mother lode of bovine guano.
@palindrom: The difference between Milgrom and Sokal is that Sokal knew he was writing a parody. Milgrom knows enough about quantum field theory to abuse the terminology in such a ridiculous fashion, but I don't think he knows enough to intentionally construct a statement about QFT which is both true and nontrivial.
@Christine: Acting like a gyroscopic entity is not always a good thing. The following is an item on what is purported to be a list of unfavorable personnel reports about Royal Navy officers:
re gyroscopic actions
Chi gung enthusiasts swear by Chan ssu chen ( sp?) exercises ( silk-reeling) wherein one attempts to make the limbs or entire body draw yin-yang symbols in thin air by turning said limbs or body in a manner that expresses the joints' twistable motions - it may have a bit of value as physiotherapy but they claim it liberates the chi or puts it into its healthiest mode. Chi itself *coils* I was told.
I'm not making this up- I'm creative but not that creative.
Reconnective Healing is a form of healing that is here on the planet for the very first time. It reconnects us to the fullness of the universe as it reconnects us to the fullness of our beings and of who we are. It is considered to be able to reconnect us to the universe and to our very essence not just through a new set of healing frequencies, but through possibly an entirely new bandwidth. The reality of its existence has demonstrated itself clearly in practice as well as in science laboratories.
The Reconnection is the umbrella process of reconnecting to the universe, which allows Reconnective Healing to take place. These healings and evolutionary frequencies are of a new bandwidth brought in via a spectrum of light and information. It is through The Reconnection that we are able to interact with these new levels of light and information, and it is through these new levels of light and information that we are able to reconnect. This is something new. This is different. This is real–and it can be entrained in each of us.
Whew! I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't read it. But my SIL swears by it.
I'm going to try and top SelenaWolf, but even I know that'll be a challenge.
A friend just posted a link to this on Facebook.
Have at it.
Hmm I will have to look around for something but I doubt anything can top the three Orac noted. I will have to show them to my hubby with the physics degree. Although after the holiday he is liable to rant for hours about the stupidity. Happy Turkey Day to all those celebrating!
First post to this blog but figured this was worthy!
"New research suggests that our energetic or spiritual heart is an access point for our natural inner technology; the heart's intuitive intelligence which can elevate our communications decisions, and choices to a much higher level of effectiveness."
Essentially the entire video is a great quote spoken directly from the bovine rectum itself. The thing that drew me in was the graphic that shows a magical beam between two individuals shot forth from their mediastinum connecting them via some intangible sense. Seriously, how can people go for crap like this?
@ Julian Frost:
You know, Mikey has been playing around with similar notions esp when he riffs upon consciousness. Feb 2013-
'Yet more evidence emerges that our universe is a grand simulation created by an intelligent designer'
If there an intelligent designer why IS there a Mikey anyway?
Denice, to serve as a bad example?
Apparently, vaccines caused the Big Bang--http://thespudd.com/vaccines-caused-big-bang/
Introduction to Alternative Medicine and Miracles: A Grand Unified Theory, Reginald O. Crosley, University Press of America, January 2004
University Press includes this publication among those falling within their “Medical” publication category, seemingly with a straight face.
What we need is a CAM version of the Postmodernism Generator (Wikipedia article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postmodernism_Generator; working example at http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/). I doubt anything it output would be readily distinguishable from Milgrom et al.
perhaps we need a corolloary to Poe's law?
"It is impossible to invent a proposed mechanism of action for a medical intervention so obviously implausible it may be distinguishable from those already proposed, in all seriousness, by advocates of alternative medicine.
Oh my good lord. I swear some of those read like copy for the Turboencabulator.
Work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "Turbo-Encabulator."
It gets better from there. ;-)
Denise: Never heard of Chi gung but I sometimes venture into a Feng Shui forum. I first went there to try and gain insight into my neighbor behind me cutting down a tall buffer zone (about 15 feet deep and 100 feet wide) of firs and cedars across the back of his property. It was quite pleasant to view from our back deck and also offered shade to us. Squirrels & birds in the trees were a delight. I asked my neighbor why he cut them all down to the ground and he just said "Feng Shui". So I asked on the forum what it is about trees and Feng Shui. I got multiple answers by posters, all having to do with things like a "Master" must have advised them or dark trees are “unlucky” or issues about where the trees were situated directionally in relation to the house. None of the answers made any sense to me. I responded that my neighbor has likely lowered the value of his property by tens of thousands of dollars all for Feng Shui! Since my first foray into this forum, I've read the questions & answers with amusement. There are questions like "what should I look for in a new home?" It doesn't seem to be "Location, Location, Location" and even the house number seems to be of some concern. Others are "what date to start my business?", "what letters should be in my new business' name?", “my front door isn’t in the right place”, "should I remodel the northwest corner of my house this year?", "where should I put an aquarium", and "why can't I sell my home?" The answer to the home selling question was to place a small horse figurine on the table. I often offer practical solutions in posts. I told a poster seeking a Feng Shui "cure" for a neighbor who works late into the night in a garage shop making noise to make a noxious noise complaint with the police! Another poster was complaining that he did everything Feng Shui prescribes but he's always "unlucky" - I told him, essentially, "That's life!" and you can throw all the Feng Shui you want at your problems but you're not likely to have much influence on the randomness of life.
This is what the CDC is telling me I must have as part of our jurisdictions community preparedness efforts. It's not CAM but it's equally pretentious and obfuscatory:
Written plans should include strategies to support the provision of community health services during multiple types of hazard scenarios (also known as robustness) in order to support the identified risks in the jurisdiction.
OK, that inspired me:
Many readers of this blog and others like it have struggled with the performance of traditional BS meters and irony meters, watching in sad dismay as yet another succumbed to the steady flow of material leading to sinusoidal depleneration in the forward Clembach stators, and thence rapidly to unscheduled disassembly of the device. But that is all to change in the very near future.
For many years, work has been proceeding in order to perfect the crudely conceived idea of a device that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilaterial phase detractors, but which would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a device is the Quantum Turbo Encabulator.
The original devices had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. However, quantum phase duractance proved to be an almost insurmountable challenge in these devices, due to the difficulty of aligning all forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% reminative tetryliodohexamine.
The Quantum Turbo Encabulator instead uses six hydrocoptic marzul vanes so fitted to the ambaphascient lunar wain shaft that side fumbling is effectively prevented. The main winding is of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdle spring on the "up" end of the grammeters. Moreover, whenever a forescent skor motion is required due to excessive load, it may be equipped with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration, supplying signal to the BS meter or irony meter via the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive duractance, rather than the more traditional use of the relative motion of conductors and fluxes.
A kit is available to enable field upgrades of meters which are not yet disassembled, or which have been reassembled, though caution is advised as unscheduled field repair will void the warranty. For a small fee of $750,000, payable in five hundred easy installments, our highly qualified team can perform the upgrade of your fielded BS meters.
WARNING: Exposing this text to a non-upgraded fielded unit may lead to sinusoidal depleneration or, in extreme cases, defabrulation of the main trunnion spring.
Weak Quantum Theory (WQT)
That is a worship word. Yin-Yang worship. You will not speak it!
RobRN: please say you will start planting a replacement on your property...if nothing else you might get your loony neighbor to move away!
-btw- it's chi GONG. The error is mine alone not my editor's.
Unfortunately, I know quite a bit about feng shui- whilst chi gong is concerned with the flow of chi within the body, feng shiu involves creating optimal chi flow in the physical environment which will OBVIOUSLY affect people who live or work therein. It's interesting how much attention is paid to the flow of invisible, imaginary energies but I digress.
They believe in 8 directions and 5 elements in their geomancy which aims at loading the dice in order to secure ephemeral luck for the patron. Thus there are rules and formulae and an element of interior design implicit in their arrangements of furniture but ultimately it's not about what it LOOKS like but how it channels the elusive flow of chi. Which doesn't exist.
Calli, by the time I got to hydrocoptic mazlevanes, you had me giggling helplessly.
Can I pass it round to my friends? They're all in need of new bullshit meters.
even the house number seems to be of some concern
In Chinese, "four" sounds like "death" (both words are transliterated "si", although I believe the tones are different). Eight is considered lucky, again because it sounds like another word which means either "happy" or "lucky". I am not aware of any Chinese mythology about the number seven, but it has the same transliteration ("qi" in Pinyin, "chi" in older systems") as the word for the supposed life force under discussion. If you have ever wondered why, for instance, United's transpacific flights are all in the 800s, it's because 8 is considered a lucky number. It's the same reason flight 711 usually goes to Las Vegas. And not far off of why Robert Heinlein, when he lived in Colorado Springs, insisting on 1776 for his house number. I'm not saying this is a good reason for everybody who believes in feng shui to worry about their house number, but if you live at 4444 Easy St., don't expect to sell your house to a native Chinese speaker.
If you're lucky enough to own an otherwise mediocre property that happens to have good feng shui, you can get a higher price from a buyer who believes in that kind of thing. So if you are a seller who can inexpensively improve your house's feng shui without doing things that would make it less attractive to other buyers, it might be worth your while. But cutting down trees is definitely not in that category. Trees are quite useful for shade, especially if your house (like mine) doesn't have central air conditioning.
Similarly, a superstitious character in an Amy Tan novel names her son 'Winston' in hopes that he'll win a ton/tonne - i.e. be lucky.
Ta bu talli algia gigga chin cheng
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
zackoz, absolutely! Do note that I cribbed it from bits and pieces of previous Turbo Encabulator bits, which is the traditional way of making a new Turbo Encabulator presentation. It's a classic bit of engineering humor, and there are some totally priceless YouTube videos where it is delivered in total deadpan. I found a playlist that you'll very much enjoy. ;-)
And ouch -- it looks like I accidentally cribbed one bit twice. :-D Still, it's hopefully still funny.
Too late for me.
Bah. I needed to change my trunnion spings anyway.
@ Shay #23 -- I've never heard of hazard scenarios being known as robustness...
Then again, I wouldn't know any other agencies with similarly impenetrable babble (despite valiant attempts at plain language editing by eminently talented people), would I?? ;)
I know about failed BS meters from reading sci.chem and sci.physics. But not lately because my ISP (boo on you, Comcast) stopped providing usenet.
My FET input BS meter was safe in its mu metal box when my Radio Shack model became seriously enturbulated and exploded. Upon opening the box I discovered that it too had died. Much like Schrödinger’s cat. If only I had not looked. Damn quantum entanglement.
Calli #24 wins the internet. Years ago Candid Camera found a comedian who could perfectly fake looking and sounding like a car mechanic explaining what was wrong with the car. It was all techno-gibberish. But they filmed him with real but unsuspecting customers at a repair shop and we see nods and agreement. Yes, a broken filbenator is certainly bad, it inhibits the oxymotic combinatory factors in the inertial dampers -- or whatever. It sounded right. It sounded right if you knew nothing about car engines.
Sometimes the opposite of a closed mind is an informed one.
I'm not going to try to top this or the banquet Orac laid out in the quotes above: I'm going to be eating turkey soon. But reading them I pictured a Victorian "scientist" in a novel or story of the period -- a stereotypical 19th century ideal of the Brilliant Genius who can do everything (see Jules Verne) and the amazing Progress made in Man's march towards knowing everything. There's something very literary-sounding about those passages. The scene where we learn about the inventions and marvel at the protagonist's brilliance (and our own.).
These verbal productions are the linguistic equivalent of Rube Goldberg devices:
woo-meisters select terms from physiology or biology and blithely cobble their free associations together in order to rook their marks into believing that they- the former- know something beyond the latter's ken. They choose impressive-sounding terminology.. PRN's head honcho babbles on and then remarks that he'll translate his 'science' into 'lay language' as he is an expert, you see. Hilarious!
For a real treat, read Teresa Conrick @ AoA.
John Sladek is on the case:
“Its full name,” he said, “is the Praetorian eschatalogical morphomorphic tangram, Endymion-type, but we usually just call it a ramification.”
The old man fixed him with a stern black eye. “Are you trying to be funny or something? I mean, I may not be a smart-aleck scientist, but I sure as hell know a television when I see one.”
Cal assured him it was not a television, and proved it by switching it on. “See,” he said, pointing to a pattern of square waves, “there are the little anapests.”
I wouldn’t know any other agencies with similarly impenetrable babble (despite valiant attempts at plain language editing by eminently talented people), would I??
Questions everyone should ask when evaluating potential reconnective healing practitioners:
1. How can I be sure you'll connect me back to the universe I was originally connected to?
2. If I decide I don't like being connected to the universe, can you disconnect me again? Is there an extra charge for that?
3. Since I'm not currently connected to the universe, what am I connected to?
I don't think I want to be anywhere near reconnecton when it happens. Somehow, I don't think our esteemed Dr. Lund would want to be near it either.
I'll note that I'm glad that I hadn't put the seven C cells into my bench horseshіt meter before encountering this Mikovits interview.
Yes, she blames Silverman.
Can you imagine the level of crap when she goes on and on at (book) length, aided and abetted by Heckenlively?
I'm curious although I absolutely refuse to spend any money on woo.
Hello Team, guys and gals,
I miss you all but nothing could be better in my life at the moment, except, perhaps, having a significant other :)
Tim, I am so confused. I thought "my" was wo de （我的）. "Hers" would be 她的 (ta de). I started teaching myself Chinese, then got side tracked when Mr Woo had a major cerebellar stroke. :-(
I'm glad to heat that, mon ami.
Is this related to work experiences, recreation or other factors?
@ 23 shay
I believe this means have bandages, painkiller, shovels and body bags in the plan.
Très bien, mon cher Alain!
Veering slightly away from the topic at hand, though it does trigger the BS-meter...
A friend has encountered people blaming their kid's fructose malabsorption on vaccines the PARENTS had as children, since they themselves do not vaccinate but when in doubt, It Is Always The Fault of The Vaccines. I told her there are plenty of conditions being blamed on vaccination at a generational remove -- I was sure I'd read about some of them here, but my searching has failed me. Any pointers I can share with her?
How about natural cancer treatments with 90% 35-year survival rates? (The owner of the uterus I inhabited swears that this is a thing, while I'm pretty sure it's BS because, if nothing else, more than 10% cancer cases are in people who wouldn't have had 35 years left even without the cancer, because of the whole "disease of aging" thing.)
Or 10% OF cancer cases, even. Probably I caused this by rewording from "1 in 10" but instead I'll file this under "I want preview for Christmas."