Our vampire candidate for governor, "the Impaler", has been arrested for "escape" and "stalking". I just have to say…Duh. What do you expect from a vampire?
(via MNSpeak)
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An exploding aardvark whispered in my ear that we have a new candidate for governor here in Minnesota: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey.
Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am not going to break from political tradition. My name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey…
So, in the last election, we Minnesotans briefly enjoyed the company of a vampire running for governor. Unfortunately, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey was arrested before the election and we missed out on the potentially amusing spectacle.
Somehow, though, he is now free (damn those cunning vampires…
With nearly 20 months to go before the election itself and 10 months before even the first primaries, I'm already bored with the Presidential election of 2008. None of the current candidates does anything for me. One's a total lightweight who's in no way ready to be President, and I utterly loathe…
Minnesota had a vampire running for governor, which was pretty messed up…but Pandagon has found a couple of real prizes among the new crop of candidates, Merrill Keiser and Larry Kilgore. Keiser is anti-abortion and anti-homosexuals—he thinks homosexuality should be punishable by death. Kilgore…
Off-topic:
Another politician is in need of ridicule. Perhaps you could supply some:
S.C. governor OK with intelligent design
Well then, why are there still mosquitoes?
BTW, the blockquote has a bug for quotes of more than one paragraph. You can see that I managed to work around it.
It really isn't fair or accurate for the article to lump witches and pagans in with satanists. The last group are often just phonies who will have nothing to do with the first two, who are ethical people exploring pre-Christian religion, and who "get it" about evolution and don't believe in vampires or devils, or crystals, etc. I doubt that any Wiccan/Pagan that I know (or at least, those I will hang around with) would have voted for Sharkey.
I just love the fact that he "converted" to satanism "after a bad break-up."
Some people just never get out of High School.
Note stalking, not staking.
(I'm never going to get tired of that joke.)
And there go GOP plans to "go Buffy on his ass". Can we get James Marsters to fill in for him while he's in jail, seeing as how at least Marsters has the musical talent our wannabe claims to have?
Usually, this would kill a candidate. But how will it affect the undead? Maybe this is good publicity to him.
In mitigation, he has been known to regurgitate food to share with others..
"It really isn't fair or accurate for the article to lump witches and pagans in with satanists. The last group are often just phonies who will have nothing to do with the first two, who are ethical people exploring pre-Christian religion, and who "get it" about evolution"
Sorry, but the "Wiccans" are every bit as "phony" as the satanists. Wicca is *not* a "pre-Christian" religion, but a mid 1950's invention of Gerald Gardner, an English civil servant. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that any of the beliefs of Wicca have anything to do with any actual practices of pre-Christian peoples.
Not that I believe that the authentic practices would placate the non-existent supernatural forces, of course.