Johnny Depp sure is cute, but the fellow I'm swooning over in the Pirates of the Caribbean trailer is Davy Jones. He can play the organ with his face! (And that is a provocative sentence…)
I'm also impressed that he can summon up the Kraken. It's like this whole movie is stuffed full of tentacles—I'm going to be there opening day, I think.
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Arrrr, curse ye, jpf. How dare you reveal this abomination to me? What's this crazy born-again doing reviewing a pirate movie as a justification for his dogma?
But back to Jack for a second — sorry, Captain Jack. I was thinking about one of the central themes of this movie which involves the…
As I have promised to do some sort of regular Friday movie review here goes. Incidentally, I don't know if this will be entirely regular -- sometimes I don't see movies. So we will see how it goes.
Pirates of the Caribbean passed swimmingly the low expectations test: everyone thought with good…
The plot careered around like a drunken sailor, and made very little sense. The macguffin was ridiculous. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley were bland mannequins who didn't do much. Many of the situations were absurd—the sword fight on the water wheel, the cannibals and the pirates dashing back and…
On Saturday, Kate and I went to see Johnny Depp swish his way through a second movie as Captain Jack Sparrow, with assistance from Kiera Knightly, Orlando Bloom, and a lot of other wooden props. She's posted a review with spoilers, and I'll post some spoilers below the fold, but my one-word,…
Aren't you afraid it's going to be another Ski School? Lots of provocative body parts in the trailers, but a lousy movie when you get in the theatre. Especially now that Keef won't be playing Johnny Depp's father.
...where, by "opening day" in Morris, you mean "three months after it opens nationally."
Bah! Tentacle Day is just another corporatist construct designed to separate consumers from their hard-earned cash. "Happy Tentacle Day" cards. The "FTD Tentacle Bouquet." The big Tentacle Day White Sale at Elder-Beerman's. Oooh! "Make reservations now for your Tentacle Day dinner at Red Lobster." I wouldn't be surprised if Tentacle Day were simply invented out of whole cloth in some Hallmark Cards boardroom.
Personally, I intend to spend Tectacle Day like I spend every other day: replacing my worn denticles, delivering sperm packets, and dismembering crabs.
Tentacle Day is for suckers.
Here we are, only 3 comments into the sacred Tentacle Day observances, and already HP (oh, the irony of those initials) and his fellow left-wing secularists are prosecuting their War on Tentacle Day.
Well, I won't let the left's anti-Cthulhuist vitriol spoil MY Tentacle Day. I will celebrate in my home, with my family gathered around to festoon the Tentacle Tree in calamari and nori. I will celebrate in public, attend the aquarium, take in this inspirational picture and then dine proudly at the Red Lobster.
And Woe to any sales clerk who smiles at ME and says "Ocean's greetings."