Carnivalia, and an open thread

A question for any atheist or agnostic types out there: Suppose you found that there is(are) in fact a god or gods and that the theology of one practiced religion is essentially correct*. Which religion do you think it is/was and why? (It can be a non-active or minor religion but is not a fictional one...ie Quetzelcoatal may be the ultimate god, but the Jedi aren't.) I decided that I was really an athiest when I realized that my answer to this question was "I have no idea." Prior to that I'd always sort of assumed that the god I didn't believe in was a Judeo-Christian diety.

*Just take this as a given for the thought experiment and don't ask me how you can possibly get proof of the existence of a god or gods, especially without getting any hint as to his/her/its/their nature.

It is traditional at this point to pick the wackiest possible choice, the one certain to disenfranchise a large number of very devout and very certain people.

I have no idea either. I'd probably pick the fuzziest possible form of deism, one that just says there is some god(s) whose nature is currently unknowable.

I haven't checked all the threads yet, so I hope no one's posted this yet. Yes, it's a viral video: a Malaysian Toyota ad with squiddly goodness:

The Irresistable Vios

Now if you'll excuse me, since I do everything the ads tell me to, I'm off to Malaysia to buy a car.

It can be a non-active or minor religion but is not a fictional one

Trick question! They're all fictional.

You know anybody who needs an "anti-stupid" pill?

Oops, this should probably have gone in the Francis Collins thread...

Well, it may not be godless, but this comic's heart seems to be in the right place.

Dianne,
If I really, really had to choose a religion, it would probably by Buddhism. At least they appear to be truly non-violent, and they don't force their opinions/beliefs on others. Organized religion, however, still begs the question "who created the god(s)"?

Suppose you found that there is(are) in fact a god or gods...

If Star Trek has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that the moment you have empirical evidence of a god, that god ceases to be supernatural (cf Q, the Squire of Gothos, Apollo, those DS9 wormhole people). Or as the Buddhists say, "If you meet the Buddha in the road, kill him."

That said, I've always been partial to the Olympic pantheon. I love the way The Illiad portrays this complex, ongoing dance between competing human agencies and competing divine agencies, all equally bound by the Fates. Once you get past the comic-book presentation of Greek polytheism portrayed in peplum flicks, it's really a fairly sophisticated and flexible theology. And Greek polytheism doesn't suffer from the kind of moral paradoxes that monotheism does.

Another plus for Greek paganism: Big ol' Texas-sized barbecues, every festival day down at the temple near the agora, and it's free!

Scientists Reverse Evolution: Ancient Gene Reconstructed From Descendants

Great. Now the Creationists will say that evolution has been reversed, so it's as if it never happened.

Filmmaker's theory puts titanic twist in parting of the Red Sea

James Cameron, the director of Titanic, is the executive producer of a new documentary that claims to have uncovered evidence confirming one of the most dramatic episodes in the Old Testament: the parting of the Red Sea and the Jewish exodus from Egypt.
.
In The Exodus Decoded, a 90-minute documentary to be shown in the US this month, Cameron and Canadian producer Simcha Jacobovici claim a volcanic eruption on the Greek island of Santorini triggered a chain of catastrophes recorded in the Bible as the 10 plagues God visited on Egypt for enslaving the Jews.
...

Trick question! They're all fictional.

Ok, ostensibly real. Truly believed in by someone, somewhere, some time. (Of course, technically, there may be someone out there who sincerely believes themselves to be a Jedi warrior or something...Ok, forget the qualification. The boundry really doesn't exist. L Ron Hubbard proved that fairly conclusively.)

If I really, really had to choose a religion, it would probably by Buddhism. At least they appear to be truly non-violent

Except of course, for those Shaolin monks.

If there must be a god, please make it Bacchus. I could handle a Bacchanal world.

I think there is even evidence that Bacchus is god. I mean jesus could have turned water into lemonade, but did he?? NOOOO!! And I suspect the FSM appreciates a nice Chianti.

If there must be a god, please make it Bacchus.

That's the answer to a slightly different question, namely, what god or gods would you like to believe in? As opposed to which god or gods do you find the most believable (least unbelievable)given the world as it is?

Well now Dianne, let me rephrase: I find it plausible that Bacchus is god given that a close look at some of the designs in nature insinuates that the "Designer" must have been hitting the sauce.

Somnilista prophecies:
Paris Hilton will break her vow:

"I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Hilton...

Study: Sexy music triggers teen sex link

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Teens whose iPods are full of music with raunchy, sexual lyrics start having sex sooner than those who prefer other songs, a study found.
...

Well then, that proves it. Their next study will be: Hip hop music causes blackness.

I find it plausible that Bacchus is god given that a close look at some of the designs in nature insinuates that the "Designer" must have been hitting the sauce.

Hmm...could be...Given the quality of the designs god/the gods must have been on something. But the speed with which most creation myths say god/the gods worked, I find it more likely that god/the gods were on meth, not ethanol. However, AFAIK, there is no god of amphetamines in any mythos. Nor yet even a god of caffeine. Kind of too bad.

Dianne: Back when I was hanging with Neo-Pagans, I heard a lot of morning invocations to Caffeina.

The Greek gods are pretty cool, and of course exceptionally compatible with our culture (for historical reasons :-) ). For contrast, we Americans have had a certain amount of difficulty keeping Odin and Thor in separate buildings....

makhita: Don't forget Aum Shinrikyo, though. (re: non violent buddhists.)

As for the answer to the question, I find I can't give one. Dunno why. Can I pick the current state of the Norse pantheon, where most of them are dead? (Douglas Adams or Marvel Comics not withstanding.)

I'm saying just deism. All organised religions I'm familiar with overstep their knowledge and prove mistaken about a great many things. Or seem just fruity to begin with.