I was going to encourage you to read this post by Flea that says nice things about my superpowers (it's a vanity thing, you know), but then I saw something there that sent chills down my spine: Jimmy Dean's Pancakes and Sausage on a stick. With chocolate chips.
Excuse me while I run for the bathroom.
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You keep your Jimmy Dean pancakes in the bathroom?
It's not as bad as the Hamdog, though. Just reading that one makes my arteries slam shut.
Excuse *me* while I run to the grocery store.
Hey, think of it this way . . . this could go a long way toward solving that whole Red State / Blue State thing.
I might not pick the chocolate chip version, but Jimmy Dean sausages really are the best around, so I'd even try this variety -- and after all, pancakes and sausage already use sweet accents (blueberry, maple syrup) so this might not be all that bad.
Of course my favorite variant of pancakes is to take Shan Pakora mix -- a VERY spicy indian fritter -- make it as directed, but mix in mushrooms, white corn, and mandarin oranges, and fix it as pancakes rather than as the fritters they suggest.
Heathen! Try a proper wurst (bratwurst or bockwurst being my favourites) and then call *that* a sausage. US and UK sausages are vile greasy nightmares compared to them.
(Or is sausage now defined as `everything that tastes worse than wurst'?)