Music for evilutionists

We have some musical talent among our readers. I was sent lyrics and a link to …

BRAINY PRIMATE BLUES words and music by Bruce Woollatt

Sometimes I wonder why
we ever left Olduvai.
It's a mystery to me
why we didn't stay in the trees.
Well a million years ago we should have thought the whole thing through
'cause a million years have gone and we've got those Brainy Primate Blues.

Listen to Brainy Primate Blues here.

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Hi PZ,

I sent you an e-mail last night about some more music for evolutionists, but I imagine you get a ton of mail, so I thought I'd repost it here.
I somehow expected to see you make some mention of the song I'm about to tip you off to already, but then I realized that very few people have actually heard of MC Frontalot, the nerdcore rapper, and you probably haven't seen this song from his new album, Secrets from the Future. Frontalot raps about things like Star Wars and Goth Girls and old text adventure games and all kinds of funny, geeky stuff. He's got a whole song on his first album about Nigerian e-mail scams even. But the song that I think you'll really appreciate is called Origin of Species. In it he takes on the role of a fundie preacher type and points out all the idiocy and hypocrisy of your typical creationist loon, including busting on Dawkins.

For example:

This is still the curse of Copernicus that we suffer.
Secular thought ought not to overflow its buffer
and run roughshod through the minds of you, the population.
Heretics such as Dawkins and Sagan overstep their station
to say that what we see and what we believe should be confluent.

and my other favorite but mentioning the Dover case and the Discovery institute:

So I lay down my scheme: we'll make it seem as though creation
isn't anything we'd like to interject to education.
We'll wrangle up the language: science, data, theorem,
the irreducible complexity of the ears we use to hear 'em
gnashing teeth and wailing from Kansas to PA.
Yes, my flock, I talk of futures not imminent but underway.
Already established an Institute for Discovery.

Here's a link to all the lyrics:

http://frontalot.com/index.php/content.php?page=lyrics&lyricid=46

I'm not the kind of guy who gives away music, and I can't find a link to the actual song, but it's quite good and very funny. The whole album's good.

best,

This is one of my favorite songs, it's like Javier Krahe pulled it out of my life. (Krahe is a Spanish musical poet - "singer" is so disrespectable nowadays).

It's a long time since I don't care a thing
that the last pull of my path
falls far from Rome
It's a long time since I don't play the riddle
so proparoxytonic of a father and a son
and a white dove

And what's certain is that I don't despair
since the day the famous log
was eaten away by rot
But if they ask me and I say it
apart from one or another intimate friend
everyone thinks I'm joking

And as with that it shouldn't be joked
they expect God to strike me with the torch
that burned Sodom
or, at least for me to say, comforting
that I've become Mohammedan or protestant
we speak different languages

So that's just what I was missing!
that I had to cling on to the robes
of the prophet Muhammed...
Neither on the guts of Luther nor of Buddha
I'd rather walk with a doubt
than with a bad axiom

Because I doubt that at the end of this matter
the thing doesn't end with a period
but with a semi-colon
and I don't expect a heaven or a hell
the most, I trust I will be something eternal
thanks to the chromosome

Calm, I can live my story
knowing that through the doors of glory
my nose doesn't peek
Death doesn't fill me with sadness
the flowers that will grow out of my head
will give out some of aroma

Just a couple of pointers. (The original Spanish language song is linked above and here.)

In Spanish this song rhymes beautifully, but even in English it preserves some poetic irony.

In Spanish, due to our grammar requirements, the word for "proparoxytone" is quite common.

It seems the blockquote thing screws some spaces, the first paragraph should be like this.

It's a long time since I don't care a thing
that the last pull of my path
falls far from Rome
It's a long time since I don't play the riddle
so proparoxytonic of a father and a son
and a white dove

Well, while we're at it, here's Frank Zappa:

The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing

Some take the bible
For what it's worth
When it says that the meek
Shall inherit the Earth
Well, I heard that some sheik
Has bought New Jersey last week
'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin'

Is Hare Rama really wrong
If you wander around
With a napkin on?
With a bell on a stick
An' your hair is all gone...
(The geek shall inherit nothin')

You say yer life's a bum deal
'N yer up against the wall...
Well, people, you ain't even got no
Deal at all
'Cause what they do
In Washington
They just takes care
of NUMBER ONE
An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU
You ain't even NUMBER TWO

Those Jesus Freaks
Well, they're friendly but
The shit they believe
Has got their minds all shut
An' they don't even care
When the church takes a cut
Ain't it bleak when you got so much nothin'
(So whaddya do?)

Eat that pork
Eat that ham
Laugh till ya choke
On Billy Graham
Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham...
They're all a waste of time
'N it's yer ass that's on the line
(IT'S YER ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE)

Do what you wanna
Do what you will
Just don't mess up
Your neighbor's thrill
'N when you pay the bill
Kindly leave a little tip
And help the next poor sucker
On his one way trip. . .

SOME TAKE THE BIBLE. . .
(Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)

I am going to have to go with "We Are Monkeys" by Travis...

People think they're funny when they haven't the wit
Others think they're gorgeous but inside they feel shit
Many think they're brainy but they haven't a clue
And I think I'm clever cos I'm singing this to you

We are wrong, we are wrong
We are all so, so wrong
We are monkeys
We are false, we're untrue
We should be in the zoo with our uncles
And if you don't believe
Go and climb up a tree and you'll love it
You're a fool to believe anymore
So believe you're a monkey

All the clever monkeys telling us what to do
Telling us to stay in line and join the monkey queue
Thinking that they're special cos they went to private zoo
One day soon they're gonna end up in a monkey stew

They are wrong, they are wrong
They are all so, so wrong
They are monkeys
They are false, they're untrue
They should be in the zoo with their uncles
And if you don't believe
Go and climb up a tree and you'll love it
You're a fool to believe anymore
So believe you're a monkey

Honorable Mention: "Minority" by Green Day for this...
"I pledge allegiance to the underworld
One nation under dog
There of which I stand alone
A face in the crowd
Unsung, against the mold
Without a doubt
Singled out
The only way I know"

And runner up: "Armageddon Days Are Here" by The The...
"If the real jesus christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down by the c.i.a.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart
But god didn't build himself that throne
God doesn't live in israel or rome
God belong to the yankee dollar
God doesn't plant the bombs for hezbollah
God doesn't even go to church
And god won't send us down to allah to burn
No, god will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it's sown"
(better with the music)

But anyone can create alternative lyrics:
(sing to the tune 'Hark the herald angel sings'

Batter coated angels' wings
served with egg nog, feast of kings.
Cayanne peppered, buttered mild,
to hungry lips will bring a smile.

Joyful all who do partake,
fewer carbs than angels cake.
Repast from above the sky,
buffalo could never fly.

Please, another platter bring,
batter coated angels' wings!

[Now everyone knows why my career is entomology and not music.]

Travis are cool, but you might say XTC beat them to the punch by a wide margin with "The Smartest Monkeys"

Speaking of XTC...

Dear God

Dear god,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
cause they dont get enough to eat

From god,
I cant believe in you.

Dear god,
Sorry to disturb you,
But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
cause they cant make opinions meet,
About god,
I cant believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god,
Dont know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it aint and so do you,
Dear god,
I cant believe in,
I dont believe in,

I wont believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
Youre always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And its the same the whole world round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
That the father, son and holy ghost,
Is just somebodys unholy hoax,
And if youre up there youll perceive,
That my hearts here upon my sleeve.
If theres one thing I dont believe in...

Its you,
Dear god.

Oh, wow. I was expecting something lyrically witty and melodically forgettable, but that is a darn catchy song.

And while we're sharing great atheist/secularist songs, I present . . . the BEATLES!

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky . . .

Yes, that's an oft-overlooked snip from Imagine (by John Lennon as a solo artist, not the Beatles).

When the MSM uses Imagine for gloppy-sentimental purposes, they usually excise the inconvenient dismissal of religion bit.

God belong to the yankee dollar

H€H H€H.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 26 Apr 2007 #permalink

For any Red Stater:

Oh give me a home,
where the skinheads can roam,
with the Nazis and our own KKK,
where seldom is heard
and intelligent word,
and white is right unless you are gay

Shameless repeat post from the 'New planet discovered' thread ... not for evilutionists, but for general relativists, and a great song to boot. Included on the Night at the Opera album by Queen:

39 by Brian May

In the year of '39 assembled here the Volunteers
In the days when lands were few
Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn
The sweetest sight ever seen.

And the night followed day
And the story tellers say
That the score brave souls inside
For many a lonely day sailed across the milky seas
Ne'er looked back, never feared, never cried.

Don't you hear my call though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
Write your letters in the sand
For the day I take your hand
In the land that our grandchildren knew.

In the year of '39 came a ship in from the blue
The volunteers came home that day
And they bring good news of a world so newly born
Though their hearts so heavily weigh
For the earth is old and grey, to a new home we'll away
But my love this cannot be
For so many years have gone though I'm older but a year
Your mother's eyes in your eyes cry to me.

Don't you hear my call though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
All the letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand

For my life
Still ahead
Pity Me.

What about a song by an evolutionary paleontologist PhD? None other than Greg Graffin, lead singer of Bad Religion.

http://www.cornellevolutionproject.org/

"Materialist"

You're obsesssed and distressed
Cause you can't make any sense of the ludicrous nonsense
and incipient senescence
that will deem your common sense useless
this aint no recess!

I want to believe in you, but my plan keeps falling through
I know I have to face the harshnes, grin and bear the truth
And I have to walk this mile in my own shoes
(and I'm no fool!)

[Chorus]
I'm materialist
a full-blown realist
(physical theorist)
and I guess I'm full of doubt
so I'm prone to hear you out and refuse
I'm materialist
There ain't no fear in this
it's for all to see, so don't talk of hidden mysteries with me...

Mind over matter, it really don't matter
If the street's idle chatter turns your heart strings to tatters
Flatter hopes don't flatter and soul batter won't congeal to mend
a life that is shattered into shards
Was it in the cards?

The process of belief is an elixir when you're weak
I must confess, at times I indulge it on the sneak
but generally my outlook's not so bleak
(and I'm not meek!)

[Chorus]
I'm materialist
Call me a humanist
(physical theorist)
and I guess I'm full of doubt,
but I'll gladly have it out with you
I'm materialist
I ain't no deist
it's there for all to see, so don't of hidden mysteries with me

Like Rome under Nero, our future's one big zero
Recycling the past to meet the immediate needs
And through it all we ramble forth with perservere and climb
Our mountains of regret to sow our seeds

I'm materialist
I'm materiliast
I'm materialist
I'm materialist

By gonzoknife (not verified) on 26 Apr 2007 #permalink

I love this one by the Toadies. I don't know if it's meant to be an evolution song, but that's how I read it. :)

"I Come From The Water"

I come from the water
I crawled upon the shore
I left my brothers there
I got what I came for

I sucked that hot air in
And rolled upon the sand
Emerged beneath the sun
To be a man.

I come from the water
I come from the water
That weren't no easy thing
It's more than nature
It's like my destiny

I stood upon these legs
And held my head up high
Emerged beneath the sun
To start a new life

I Come From the water

Life in the desert
Just to be together
The sand forever
The same forever
It moves beneath me
It pulls my body
My pulse beats hotter
So far from the water

I love to see the sun
In spite of all it's done
I pray for shade and rain
I pray to live again
I come from the water

How could I have forgotten Bad Religion? So many of their songs fit the mold but I will go with 'Sorrow' and 'American Jesus'...

I dont need to be a global citizen
Because Im blessed by nationality
Im member of a growing populace
We enforce our popularity
There are things that
Seem to pull us under
And there are things
That drag us down
But theres a power
And a vital presence
Thats lurking all around
Weve got the american jesus
See him on the interstate
Weve got the american jesus
He helped build the
Presidents estate
I feel sorry
For the earths population
cuz so few
Live in the u.s.a.
At least the foreigners
Can copy our morality
They can visit but they cannot stay
Only precious few
Can garner the prosperity
It makes us walk
With renewed confidence
Weve got a place to go when we die
And the architect resides right here
Weve got the american jesus
Overwhelming millions every day
(exercising his authority)

Best-selling Author Will 'Prove' God's Existence

ABC to Air LIVE Atheist Debate with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort
.
MEDIA ADVISORY, April 26 /Christian Newswire/ -- After ABC ran a story in January about hundreds of atheists videotaping themselves blaspheming the Holy Spirit, best-selling author Ray Comfort contacted the network and offered to prove God's existence, absolutely, scientifically, without mentioning the Bible or faith. He and Kirk Cameron (co-hosts of an award-winning Christian TV program) challenged the two originators of the "Blasphemy Challenge" to a debate on the existence of God. According to Comfort, he and Cameron (an ex-atheist) are qualified to debate on the subject. Comfort had not only written a book titled "God Doesn't Believe in Atheists", but had spoken at Yale on the subject of atheism, and been flown by American Atheists, Inc., to their 2001 annual convention to be a platform speaker.
.
ABC loved the idea, and will host a debate in New York City on May 5, 2007. Moderated by Martin Bashir, the debate will be streamed LIVE on their website and will also be filmed for "Nightline."
.
Cameron ("Growing Pains" sitcom and Left Behind movies) will speak on what he believes is a major catalyst for atheism: Darwinian evolution. The popular actor stated, "Evolution is unscientific. In reality, it is a blind faith that's preached with religious zeal as the gospel truth. I'm embarrassed to admit that I was once a naïve believer in the theory. The issue of intelligent design is extremely relevant at the moment. Atheism has become very popular in universities--where it's taught that we evolved from animals and that there are no moral absolutes. So we shouldn't be surprised when there are school shootings. Cameron will also reveal what it was that convinced him that God did exist.
...

These are the folks behind the devestating banana and peanut butter videos, so you know they can deliver the intellectual goods.

I am fascinated by atheism made into poetry. The best poets and songwriters I know (though in Spanish) are atheists or highly critical of religion. Some loose verses (sorry, I don't listen to music in English, just some Beatles and Zeppelin):

------------------
Joaquín Sabina (Spanish):

"Que el fin del mundo te pille bailando" (may the end of the world catch you dancing).

"[...]When the cynics got to praying
he put Satan a candle
he learned everything that has to be forgotten
and ran out of school

And because of too much calling it bread, to bread
and to wine, wine
the "good people" thought bad
and said by the sidewalk of the casino
that so and so
but it was all the same for him

Because he yelled when one had to be quiet
everybody called him "party wrecker"
he slept all that was to dream
without forgiving a nap[...]"

---------------------------

Silvio Rodríguez (Cuban)

"[...]On the day of Armageddon (el día del armagedón)
I don't want to be behind the door (no quiero estar tras la puerta)
But dreaming, well alert (sino soñando, bien alerta)
where I'd be safe from forgiveness (donde esté a salvo de perdón)[...]"

(The Stubborn one)

"To not make my icon into pieces
to save myself among unique ones and odd ones
to yield a place for me on their Parnassus
to give me a little corner at their altars

They come to invite me to repent
they come to invite me not to lose
they come to invite me to undefine myself
they come to invite me to so much shit

I don't know what destiny is
by walking, I was what I was
over there be God, who may be divine
I die as I lived

I want to keep on playing what's lost
I want to be left-handed more than right
I want to make a congress out of the united
I want to pray deeply an "Our Son"

They'll say that madness is out of fashion
they'll say that people are bad and don't deserve
though I'll sill be dreaming up mischiefs
(maybe to multiply bread and fishes)

They say that they'll drag me over rocks
when the revolution falls down
that they'll crush my hands and my mouth
that they'll tear out my eyes and my "clapper"

Should it be that stubbornness was born with me
The stubbornness of what, today, makes stubborn:
the stubbornness of assuming the enemy
the stubbornness of living without a price"

This song has strong anti-religious and political overtones. Those who know Silvio know he's very controversial among Cubans. I personally don't think he lives up to the idealistic tone of his songs, but he's a great poet.
-----------------

Sorry for the long posts, this stuff just fascinates me. I can't share this stuff with anyone where I live (cause either they don't speak Spanish, or they are only interested in Ricky Martin and Shakira).

Atheism has become very popular in universities--where it's taught that we evolved from animals and that there are no moral absolutes. So we shouldn't be surprised when there are school shootings.

OFGS. I swear I get two degrees dumber every time I read something like that.

By Oh.My.God.Plea… (not verified) on 26 Apr 2007 #permalink

It isn't about evolution, and is more fitting to "Bad Astronomy", but my favorite "nerd song" is "The Sun Is a Mass of Incandescent Gas" by They Might Be Giants.

It's more than nature
It's like my destiny

It's not an evolution song.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 27 Apr 2007 #permalink

God belong to the yankee dollar

H€H H€H.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 26 Apr 2007 #permalink

It's more than nature
It's like my destiny

It's not an evolution song.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 27 Apr 2007 #permalink