Where can I get a creationist degree?

the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet

you mean the Bat Cave?

OK, see he's not a True Engineer.

Wait... Spaceships for God-fearing people? I thought Xenu already took care of that sort of thing.

"The far distant goal is to develop and to realize a generation spaceship for a God-fearing community. "

Captain's Log: All systems running smoothly, all hibernacula at optimum temperature. All-what the? Holy crap! GOD off the starboard bow! Houston, we have a problem! Initiate full retreat! MOMMYYYY!!

Oh, that's just sad.

Underpants!!!

This guy is low-hanging fruit, not worth engaging.

"The far distant goal is to develop and to realize a generation spaceship for a God-fearing community."

Round 'em up and ship 'em out. What's not to like? :)

(And the really cool & ironic thing would be that slow interstellar transport is the most likely way for humans to speciate.)

Pet peeve alert!

"Singular" is not a fancy way of saying "single".

Singular: extraordinary; remarkable; exceptional: a singular success.

Single: only one in number; one only; unique; sole: a single example.

I noticed you can also get a "Creationist in Politics" degree. I can see how a creationist would consider creationism relevant to the sciences. But politics?

Morgan's Law.

Not only is this a cutting edge website, but what a steal for only $550!

I like this quote:

"'Bachelor' and other degrees and diplomas make people powerful, but our degrees and diplomas make them down-to-earth"

Huh?

I don't much about spacecraft engineering, but I do read a lot of science fiction. The problem with generation ships is that after a couple of generations, the on-board civilization always collapses, and order gets restored by a dogmatic religious cult. Forever after, if you claim that there's anything outside of Sh'ip, or otherwise contradict the Sacred Writings of Ca'pt'ain, then you're convicted of heresy and burned at the stake.

But if you started the voyage with a dogmatic religious cult, then maybe the replacement civilization would be created by pragmatic realists who value critical thinking? I'm not sure, but it might be worth running the experiment.

Too bad he doesn't speak "Jxylcrpwnyx," we could have had a fascinating conversation about hgduehw, and compared notes on the upcoming Wycthsbsajx 2008!

Now don't be too hasty. There's always the chance this fellow could be a real life John Barlow.

N. Wells:

(And the really cool & ironic thing would be that slow interstellar transport is the most likely way for humans to speciate.)

I just had this scary vision of a future human subspecies of Reaver-like creatures, except where instead of eating and raping you to death, they latch onto other spaceships, board, and begin bludgeoning the passengers with Bibles.

Although I suppose they might still eat people too. They already have that whole weird quasi-cannabalism thing going on.

Wow. That's imagination.

"Polycultural Engineering"? What do those words have anything to do with a new kind of agriculture based on balanced ecological systems... balanced ecological systems like the untamed Amazon jungle? WTF is he talking about??

What is "alternative physics"? Is this like alternative medicine? What's a generation spaceship? Wait--he's proposing that a bunch of worthy Christians should go to outer space? Dude !! How can I give them ALL my money??

What's exobiology? What's holistic mathematics?
And what problems will they be solving "perfectly" with Minor-System-Technology? Minor problems?

Oh Bloody Zeus on Pluto my frontal lobe is going to combust please deliver me to a different spot on the universe far away from such nutjobs!!

Although I suppose they might still eat people too. They already have that whole weird quasi-cannabalism thing going on.

Is transubstantiation symmetric? If a Christian turns cannibal, do the people turn into saltines and grape juice in his gullet?

... you guys... you guys need to check out his website and click on the link for "Wide-Mouth-Frog". Everyone do it. I was confused before, but ... that just ... that just fused all my neural circuits together.

It sounds to me like this one belongs in the "Aluminum Foil Hat" Club.

New drive technology based on alternative physics? Maybe we should submit a proposal for an infinite improbability drive.

This guy is low-hanging fruit, not worth engaging.

No, this is fruit that ripened, partly rotted on the tree, cropped off and was eaten by a deer who subsequently crapped it on the leach bed of an over-full septic tank. Don't touch it with a 12-foot Hungarian! (That's 2 feet longer than a 10-foot pole.)

"Alternative physics". That's rich. The spacecraft are probably powered by perpetual motion machines.

Are fundagelicals allowed to plan far enough into the future for space-colonization? What does that say about their faith that Jebus is coming back any day now?

Uhh Inky... I hate to break it to you, but he's not making up Generation ships or exobiology.

Generation ships are a proposed way to deal with the light speed limit. Since even relatively close by stars would be hard to reach in a human life time instead you send a ship full of colonists in a ship that is capable of sustaining mulitple generations of colonists. The orginal crew will all be dead of old age by the time they reach their intended destination but they're several times over great grandchildren will be able to colonise the new planet.

Exobiology (also called astrobiology or cosmobiology) is the currently hypothetical study of extra-terrestrial life forms. It's not currently considered a true member of the sceinces but that's mostly becuase of lack of hard data to work with. At the moment it's mostly wild speculation.

And if that post was a joke and I didn't get it, apologies. My irony meter has been under a lot of strain lately and isn't working all that well.

Hay, Knight, thanks for the info.

Nonetheless, a generation spaceship and studying extraterrestrial life forms are pretty FREAKING AMBITIOUS goals for one dude that can give you a "degree" without a diploma* that wouldn't be accepted by anyone other than God-fearing bosses?

It was my total brain meltdown talking.

*On his site his "institution" awards degrees for completion of undergraduate courses, and diplomas for postgraduate courses.

"Polycultural Engineering"? What do those words have anything to do with a new kind of agriculture based on balanced ecological systems... balanced ecological systems like the untamed Amazon jungle? WTF is he talking about??

Actually, he's almost using correct words there, *almost* being the important term. Monoculture describes most of American farming, with only a single crop. Causes loads of ecological problems. Polyculture would then be growing many different kinds of crops, usually in rotation. Keeps the nutrients in balance. Corn takes out nitrogen, soy puts it back, that kind of thing.

You gentlemen have clearly not read my many publications in the evening post about this very topic of Jesus Powered Space Conveyance and Healing by Faith. Indeed I have published with my dear relative Jonathon Von Post on many occasions about these very topics. Alas, I was the first to speak of these wondrous educational opportunities in my many many many detailed publications with many famous people.

I fare thee good bye kind gentlemen!

I am happy to be a frog!, but what about PIGMIES+DWARFS!

Oohh.. I am such a thorough bounder. I have misspelled my gentle relatives name. It is Vos Post!

I implore your forgiveness dear fellows.

Inky, I hate you. It's going to take days for my brain to recover from the wide-mouth frog.

Rey Fox@4, obviously they've stumbled into Frank Herbert's _Destination: Void_, in which we learn how to build a psychotic AI using 1950s-level computing technology (plugboards, no less) which of course decides that it is God as soon as it awakens. (Let's not even *discuss* the sequel. At least the environment was pleasantly claustrophobic in the first book.)

It's really the way he writes these subjects that's key.
Environmentally friendly agriculture and exobiology are obviously legitimate areas of study, but pair that next to Theological Cosmology and solving any problem "perfectly", all from some dude who can't speak jxylcrpwnyx

... do you think that maybe this is a prank site?

Carlie,

don't kill the messenger, man!

I was so ... (insert some sort of appropriate adjective expressing utter dismay at the depths of outlandish stupidity displayed) that I was *fixated* on the page, my eyes roaming over and over between the frogs and the news snippet over and over, my brain desperately hoping for some grain of sanity to cling to.

Alas, there was none.

I think we should all get these degrees. Then every time someone points to Behe or some engineer and says "well gee, these 'scientists' learned evolution, but they accept creation" we can say there are just as many folks with "degrees" in creation science who reject it and accept evolution.

As soon as someone else wants to pay for it I'll claim mine.

I'm sorry, I'm laughing so hard I can't respondl..o0==;;o=-=ll

I repeat: Morgan's Law states that any sufficiently advanced parody is indistinguishable from a genuine kook. Sure, if this is a parody -- and I think it is -- it's not very advanced, but the kooks have gone far to meet it anyway...

[i] the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet.
[/i]

Indeed... we've got one here at work. Likeable fellow - seriously, I enjoy talking to him - but he has this little blind spot about evolution, and believes the Bible is the only inerrant thing ever written, and...

I never thought I'd meet a true Creationist here in Australia - and it's kinda embarrassing that he's an engineer...

I think you can safely call this one a crackpot.

Inky (and others):

What is "alternative physics"?

It's Hyperdimensional!

"...the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet."

Ironic. Upon my de-conversion, the second Christian who contacted me wanting to know "what happened" was an engineer. The conversation, after I told him "there's no evidence," quickly devolved into, "oh yeah, then how did everything get here?!?" *sigh*

Our Interpretation of Science
1. Science in general is gaining of knowledge.
2. Evolutional science is science based on the evolution theory. It is also often called 'established science' or merely 'science'. In most scientific articles the word 'science' and derivatives are used in this meaning.
3. Creational science is science based on the Creation theory.
4. Each scientific branch uses its own scientific methods.

Oh my, he's using Gould's Non-Overlapping Magisteria on Science. Two complementary kinds of science, not in conflict, but examining the same physical world and coming up with two different -- what? Interpretations? But not in conflict. No. Because Creationism science is an "additional and complemental branch" which is not forced on others but is, instead, a "kinder and gentler way."

It's as if this guy has merged the Bible with New Age Spiritual speak.

"the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet."

That's not my goddamn utility closet. I run a clean facility here.

I noted on eBay that in the last 9+ months his course has sold exactly......Wait for it............. None, zip, NADA, the nul set, not one cent's worth of creation science degrees.
Now I feel all dirty, like after beating up a crippled kitten. You know the feeling.

... like after beating up a crippled kitten. You know the feeling.

No, and please don't describe it.

Creationist in Sciences (Cr.S.) Cr.S = Can't remember Shit.

Sounds about right.

I got my degree in cryptography from the inside of a cracker jack box. A decoder ring was my prize. Now I'm qualified to work at the Pentagon and Liberty University.

Anyone else notice that the "target group" for the Institute includes "native humans?" How unfortunate for those born on the generation spaceships.

Wow! A whole course of study designed to make a person stupider.

To round out the offerings, Pete, why not offer a free course in electroshock therapy!

"'Bachelor' and other degrees and diplomas make people powerful..."

Really? Sa-weet! I was wondering why I suddenly had laser eye-beams. Does flight kick in after the Master's level, or is that purely a PhD power?

Getting an E.E. will do this to you.

What's with the "wide mouth" frog he's got on one webpage?

Creational Healing

Sorry, can't resist:

[MarvinGaye]And when I get that feeling
I want Creational Healing
Creational Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind...[/MarvinGaye]

...slinking away...

Oh, Peter Lay again.

Hmm. Shouldn't "holistic mathematics" be "holy math"?

And "semiconductor technology mainly based on silicon, copper and oxygen", ehrm, ..., silicon, ..., silicon and oxygen, ..., oh, maybe he means silicon technology with silicon dioxide insulation and copper wires. He must have read and half understood a popular description.

the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet.

Actually, I think most engineers come out of academic programs. But stagger, sure, some might do that. :-P

Does flight kick in after the Master's level, or is that purely a PhD power?

No. I think you have to be at least a fourth-level dungeon master for Powers of Flight.

I guess polycultural engineering means growing parrots in vast vats. I wonder in Grrlscientist wants a job.

Bob

...he's not certain that he's not a fruitcake and that he has a B.S. in electrical engineering. Shhhh, don't make a big deal of it, the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet.

It doesn't appear that he has any kind of engineering degree. He says that he was a technician, and then took various courses (one of which was "environmental and process engineering"), but claims his BS degree from Commonwealth Open University; there's a link to their website. It appears to be a distance learning college, and it doesn't offer any undergraduate engineering degrees.

I would trust him to repair an complex telephone equipment, specially if it was made by Telefunken. He also seems qualified to grant degrees in Creativist Relativity and Creativist Nuclear Physics. We engineers all are.

Check out his book on Amazon by searching for Peter Lay `Advanced Theory of Relativity'. I love the 6 comments that all give him the maximum number of stars. Note the publishing company is some subsidiary of Amazon who handle self-publishing.

Michael

Here is a story of some brave apostates of Islam.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2426314.ece

"A group of young Muslim apostates launches a campaign today, the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on America, to make it easier to renounce Islam.

The provocative move reflects a growing rift between traditionalists and a younger generation raised on a diet of Dutch tolerance.

The Committee for Ex-Muslims promises to campaign for freedom of religion but has already upset the Islamic and political Establishments for stirring tensions among the million-strong Muslim community in the Netherlands.

Ehsan Jami, the committee's founder, who rejected Islam after the attack on the twin towers in 2001, has become the most talked-about public figure in the Netherlands. He has been forced into hiding after a series of death threats and a recent attack."

Funny how the NL should have become such a hotspot for (threats of) political violence.

And it looks like 6 of their 8 degrees require more mathematics than biology. Zing!

I'll take that engineer jab Myers, & raise you a math envy of creationists!

Actually, I think most engineers come out of academic programs. But stagger, sure, some might do that. :-P

The staggering is when we come out of bars. ;-)

I must be drunk - can't even close blockquotes

The creationist degree would only take six days to obtain, and on the seventh you can put a pic on your website and proudly say I CAN HAS SHIT DEGREE.

"The far distant goal is to develop and to realize a generation spaceship for a God-fearing community."

Lets name it the
B-Ark

I think I found the reference material for the Wide-Mouthed Frog. IIRC, my Mom liked to read it to her first grade students.

http://www.amazon.com/Wide-Mouthed-Frog-POP-UP-BOOK/dp/0803718756/ref=p…

Do you suppose the book for his distance learning course is a pop up too?

Somehow, this has been overlooked:

"The institute's grading system is
A=81...100=superior
B=61...80=above average
C=41...60=passing
D=21...40=poor
F=0...20=failure.
For graduation a grade of C or better is required."

So, you only need to learn 41% or better to become an expert on made up crap.

It's really depressing to think of how I've wasted my life. I've spent over three decades either serving my country in the military or working to attain various degrees. And here in the last couple of years I've learned that all I really had to do was slap a yellow magnetic sticker on my SUV (OK, I'd have to buy one first) and give somebody $550.00 bucks for a piece of paper to attain the same thing. What a dolt I am!

Perhaps "wide-mouthed frog" is a euphemism for one of his naughtier bits- you know, the one through which he seems to speak? That or he's been downed one too many Mickey's Big Mouth Malt Liquors.

At least they've stopped the "Molestation of Little Boys" curriculum.

"The spacecraft are probably powered by perpetual motion machines."

You kid, but if you take a look at his postgraduate "Scientific Extension" course, he offers modules in the Advanced Theory of Relativity and Free Energy. If that isn't enough, these animated GIFs of frogs make me sure that this institution is right up there with Cambridge and Yale.

I think that it pretty much sums up creationism when it says that in order to be a creationist, you needn't bother with such inconveniences as, oh, going to school or reading any books.

He's a creationist and a UFOlogist?

Funny.

He's a creationist and a UFOlogist?

Funny.

You can also get a degree in "Creationist in Politics (Cr.P.)".

All together now: Holy Crap.

Thank you. I'll be at the Hyatt next Tuesday.

Re: #54 "... No. I think you have to be at least a fourth-level dungeon master for Powers of Flight."

[Cingular commercial]"Dungeon Masters don't have levels!" "What a dork!"[/Cingular commercial]

If I continue with my engineering degree, will I start believing in god?

No Power of Flight with a PhD at all.
That gets only Walk on Water.
Flight is automatic for Tenure; subsection Off the Handle.

Jewbacchus, only if you believe now.

BME

We're all (reasonably) clever guys, right? Who can quickly code some html for an Intelligent Design degree (leave the jokes to you) then Googlebomb it to No1? C'mon, we CAN take that hill...

Cr. S. would also be about the right abbreviation for "Crock of Sh*t", a degree, I would value every bit as much as the Creative Denialist or whatever degree it was.

What I want is a degree from the University of Ediacara (or Edicaria, I'm not fussy).

Hot damn, sign me up!

Jees. I thought it would be cheaper than that. Can't I just download one to print off?

Morgan's Law.

I repeat: Morgan's Law states that any sufficiently advanced parody is indistinguishable from a genuine kook. Sure, if this is a parody -- and I think it is -- it's not very advanced, but the kooks have gone far to meet it anyway...

Oh, Peter Lay again.

Hmm. Shouldn't "holistic mathematics" be "holy math"?

And "semiconductor technology mainly based on silicon, copper and oxygen", ehrm, ..., silicon, ..., silicon and oxygen, ..., oh, maybe he means silicon technology with silicon dioxide insulation and copper wires. He must have read and half understood a popular description.

the engineers are always embarrassed when another creationist engineer staggers out of the utility closet.

Actually, I think most engineers come out of academic programs. But stagger, sure, some might do that. :-P