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Jebus is big. Jeebus is even bigger. Watch out for Jeeebus!

By pharyngula on February 12, 2008.

You need a website that chronicles instances of giant Jeeebi. These aren't mere graven images, these are graven mega-images of apocalyptic proportions, which really ought to bring down the wrath of the Lord already.

Tags
humor

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That Jesus is way too big for crucifixion on that little bitty cross he's got. He should take it back to Home Depot and demand one in his size.

Yeah, whatever happened to God's wrath? Back in the good ol' days He'd never let Syria get away with, well, being home to Syrians. Where are the pillars of salt and the bolts from heaven?

Where exactly in the Bible does He say He's going to abdicate His authority and pass the smiting on to middlemonkeys like GW Bu(ll)sh(it) anyways?

Looks like that big jeebus is taunting the intelligent
designed tornado to come down and shred it! I made you,
you freaking mindless whirl of energy and I dare you to
pick me up and scatter me in stanley's yard!

Oh my, that thing. I was living in Dayton when they put it up. Glen's got the right of it. That picture doesn't show it well, but there's a great big pool of water in front of him. From the highway it looks like Jesus is drowning and begging someone to throw him a rope.

O Lord...
Ooh, You are so big...
So absolutely huge...
Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.

To me it looks like he's encased in the lake of ice with Satan in the city of Dis in the 9th circle of Hell, raising his arms in anguish at the God who has forsaken him. To further add insult, the symbol of his torture and sacrifice has been...sorta placed next to him.

Sometimes it's really embarrassing living in Cincinnati. First we had the riots in '99, then we (not me) elected GWB twice, then "Touchdown Jeebus," and now the Creation Museum. At least Jeebus and the Creation Museum are technically not in Cincinnati.

On a more positive note, Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory has proclaimed today Darwin Day!

Mega-Jesus! When being the son-of-god just isn't enough.

(now, with extra holiness at no additional charge)

Another Cincinnati Pharyngula reader here. I don't really have anything to add to the Big Butter Jesus/Touchdown Jesus/Giant Zombie Jesus Has Risen from the Grave discussion, but since there are so many Cincinnatians here, I thought we could take over the comment thread with pointless local chatter.

How about that ice, huh? Took me 20 minutes to clear my windshield this morning. Roads weren't too bad, I guess. Beechmont by 275 was a little sloppy.

Re #12:
Is it really so surprising that the tallest object for miles around would get hit by lightning? Don't they get thunderstorms there? What would be miraculous is if it never gets hit.

I'm embarrassed to say I don't get the "Big Butter Jesus" joke. Anyone feel like explaining?

I was driving through Ohio last year and encountered that thing. Man, what an eyesore. Even my christian wife thought it was horrible.

There's even a song about it (link in a post I wrote here).

I used to commute regularly from Cincinnati to Dayton. I know I'm not the only one who had fantasies of being rich enough to buy the land on the other side of I75 and build a statue of a giant quarterback about to pass, or a kicker. No one would ever build a giant publicly visible idol again.

Hey, Jebus is reaching out to Lilith, judging by the expression on his face. He wants the succubus.

By Richard Harris (not verified) on 12 Feb 2008 #permalink

HA! Love the one with "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"
Great salute to a much better man than the fictional jeebus, Jean Shepherd.
Excelsior!

Mark has a great idea.
another completely childish and yet awesome idea: There are hundreds of crosses peppering our highways. Put up billboards with the letters S-H-I, or K-U-N or F-U-C, B-U-T, or BULLSHI, across the road from all these eyesores. Step 7: sit back and see what happens.

@ #13

Hey HP,
I'm guessing we probably live pretty close to each other. I live about 2 miles east of the 275-125 ramps.

This is so pathetic and mind deadening. A well known
book club is currently offering this:

The Resurrection by Geza Vermes
"A masterful work of scholarship, this is a balanced
look at one of the most misunderstood events in Christianity."

Makes the mind go dead with incredulity.

@ aiabx: It's a shade of off-white that's very similar to butter.

I wonder: Why is it that of all religious figures, JC lends himself to by far the most tackiness?

By wotthe7734 (not verified) on 12 Feb 2008 #permalink

I wonder: Why is it that of all religious figures, JC lends himself to by far the most tackiness?

I liked Jesus a lot better before he bleached his skin to deny his semitic heritage.

"I wonder: Why is it that of all religious figures, JC lends himself to by far the most tackiness?"

Possibly because the guys in charge won't let anyone depict Mohammed pictorally. But somehow, I bet that if you were to go to China or Japan, you could find all sorts of Buddha kitsch. Anyone have any confirmation (or denial)?

A friend who lives in Dayton told me about that statue a while back. I call it 'The Quicksand Jesus'.

By WillEyedOney (not verified) on 12 Feb 2008 #permalink

Ah, I wish I was a pigeon. It would be the pinnacle of my life to finally take a literal, and not just figurative, dump on Jebus.

By Bride of Shrek (not verified) on 12 Feb 2008 #permalink

Oh that statue's nothing. What we ought to be watching out for is Jeebus' mom. Canada-based faith healer Fr. Fernando Suarez and his band of deluded supporters are planning on building one of the tallest statues of Mary in the next couple of years. It'll be a "33-story-high statue of Mary Mother of the Poor which will be about as high as the Statue of Liberty and higher than Christ the Redeemer of Brazil." http://www.fatherfernando.com/article/healingpriest_doyo.shtml

The Virgin Mom rules!

I'm glad I live in England. We don't usually get that sort of crap here..

Jesus of the Week rocks!

I think # No. J2K8-3 looks like Danny Bonaduce.

By dwarf zebu (not verified) on 13 Feb 2008 #permalink

Haha... Good old Solid Rock Church. My hometown is one exit away from that thing on I-75. It's good entertainment. That church also has a giant neon sign that flashes all these ridiculous messages on it. You know the type: God answers knee-mail! etc.