Some rites are not to be contemplated

Is there something the Catholics are keeping secret? Because I don't want to even imagine this ritual.

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Your correspondent can't tell the difference between a Catholic parish, and a Lutheran Church Missouri Synod congregation*?

Kaffee mit schlag is German, not Italian.

fusilier
James 2:24

*OK, I know it's hard; as a friend says, "Catholics with married clergy."

Where do you find this stuff?!

Just say N2O, baby.

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

I read a few posts on there, and that's a very warped blog.

I was going to blog, but then realized that everyone else on earth is already doing that.

Kalyn, @4: I think he finds a lot of it by everyone bugging him by email.

There are indeed, some very strange people in this world.

By Katkinkate (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Its all perfectly innocent. The crackers just don't taste that good plain.

"I expect He just has great birthday parties." - ScaryDuck

Exactly. When my kids were small we had a big yard with a big swimming pool. Their summer birthday parties were the talk of the neighborhood, featuring whipped-cream fights. We would buy a couple of dozen aerosol cans of "squirty cream" and let the kids chase each other around - then hose them off thoroughly before they got in the pool. Good clean fun.

They probably serve hot chocloate afterwards. Typically after the church service everyone gathers to share drinks and has something to eat.

By Pete Rooke (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

This post on the heels of a review of "Zombie Strippers"... I sense a disturbing trend, and am a bit fearful concerning the next post.

If I see the words "Catholic", "McCain", and "Cheeze Whiz" together in your next post, I swear I'm skipping right over it.

By Celtic_Evolution (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

That's a cheap shot against Catholicism (or any organized religion for that matter). With so many pertinent aspects of the Catholic faith to openly criticize, you've chosen innuendo and a sneering "say no more" wink.

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

That's a cheap shot against Catholicism (or any organized religion for that matter). With so many pertinent aspects of the Catholic faith to openly criticize, you've chosen innuendo and a sneering "say no more" wink.

Ok how about the fact that there is rampant child molestation in the Catholic Church which has been systematically covered up to protect the offenders and the great wealth of the church.

that better?

Awwww... Pete Rooke went and splashed cold water all over our deluded minds.

Shoot... we were all so convinced that it was something untoward, too. Darn it all. Guess we're all just a bunch of whipped-cream conspiracy goofballs. Thanks for setting us all straight, Pete, you absolute saint.

OK... now that we've gotten that out of the way, the rest of us may now return to our snarky, obviously sarcastic and humor laced, inuendos and suppositions. Unless of course you are without any discernable sense of humor. In which case you can simply sod off.

By Celtic_Evolution (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

The next time I encounter Catholic clergy, I'll remember this, the horror....

To Rev. BigDumbChimp

Precisely. That is one of the "pertinent aspects of the Catholic faith to openly criticize" I was talking about. Address the issue head on, that's all I ask.

For the record I am accused of apostasy within the Catholic Church (I'm an atheist), so I'm not too keen on defending it.

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Did you by any chance also find several large polythene bags of the type used by drycleaners for protecting suits about to be returned to the customer, and a snap-off-blade utility knife?

If so, the correct response would be to back out slowly. But not too slowly, obviously.

That's a cheap shot against Catholicism (or any organized religion for that matter). With so many pertinent aspects of the Catholic faith to openly criticize, you've chosen innuendo and a sneering "say no more" wink.

Your doctor called. Your sense of humor is ready.

It's a friggen Monday morning. My sense of humour never rears it's head before my first cup of coffee.

I shall recant!

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

It's SOOO much easier to get it into the altar boy with Squirty Cream on it.

Squirty cream leads to squirting cream

By The Petey (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Catholic priests with extra cans of 'Squirty Cream'?!?

If the wafer is his flesh, the wine His blood, then what would squirty...oh, gross.

Does this have something to do with the second coming of Christ??

Liberal use of Squirty Cream on Altar Boys results in this:

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

@ Antonio Silva

1. See? That's more like it...

2. I'll never forgive you for putting that image in my head. Damn you.

By Celtic_Evolution (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

@ Celtic_Evolution

Believe me, I stumbled upon that image when perusing my regular Footy Forum. Honest!

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Cue another Bill Donohue incoherent attack.

Guy should really pick on someone more relevant. The Wisconsin Evangelical Lutherans, on their website, explain how the Pope is really the antichrist.

This is the church that Michelle Bachmann and 1/2 million upper midwesterners belongs to. I wonder how that looks to the Catholics in her district?

Oh, that's right. Donohue is a cowardly bully and won't pick on anyone even half his size.

Poop! They never had squirty cream at MY Sunday school! But then I wasn't a Catho-lick.

By itwasntme (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

That's funny and sort of telling that all this time I was thinking breast milk and you boys were thinking of a masculine product.

"Mayonnaise has been the glory of the coming of the lord!" - from scaryduck commenter. Wins the whole shebang.

Also. Thanks mr silva. I'm now scarred for life.

Yeah, nana. The scaryduck page linked-to has a picture of it.

@ Celtic_Evolution

Believe me, I stumbled upon that image when perusing my regular Footy Forum. Honest!

I can unfortunately say, I've seen it before. There is a whole series of them. Some Italian religious service or something.

I may have the nationality wrong but i honestly don't have the stomach to find out.

He could be Italian, he could be Portuguese. The guy wore that motherfucking Godzilla cross as a joke, for sure. Please let it be so.

By António Silva (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Obviously none of you has ever witnessed the famous ceremony Percremoratio parvulorum, performed annually in observance of the Feast of St Tibulus, Bishop and Virgin. If you had, you wouldn't be making those crude jokes. It is an ancient and solemn ritual and, for members of the congregation, is good for three plenary indulgences and a free raffle ticket.

Obviously none of you has ever witnessed the famous ceremony Percremoratio parvulorum, performed annually in observance of the Feast of St Tibulus, Bishop and Virgin. If you had, you wouldn't be making those crude jokes.

I have a dollar that says you're wrong.

eddie @ 33.

Yes it has a picture, but i still do not know what it is... and it seems everybody founds it very funny.

Is this US humor?

I am curious...

The squirty cream is probably for the blood of Jesus Jello-shots made from the finest wine and cherry Jello. (Jesus was a virgin?).

eddie @ 33.

Yes it has a picture, but i still do not know what it is... and it seems everybody founds it very funny.

Is this US humor?

I am curious...

"Squirty cream" is UKish for "whipped cream".

tsg @37,

I'm terribly sorry, but you've lost that dollar. Those whose knowledge of schoolroom Latin and/or Father Ted has grown rusty might not realise it, but there is no such ritual and, SFAIK, no such saint. Just made it up, I'm afraid.

No need to send my winnings to my secret Caymans bank account. But if you can find a fund raising money for the extradition of Cardinal Law to face criminal charges, go ahead and toss it into the bucket for me.

Meh...Redi-Whip is for sissies.

Tabasco? Now you're talking.

By BobbyEarle (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Your correspondent can't tell the difference between a Catholic parish, and a Lutheran Church Missouri Synod congregation*?

Why would there be an LCMS congregation in Britain? And did you forget that you need a little something squirty and creamy for all that jell-o at the potluck?

By dwarf zebu (not verified) on 03 Nov 2008 #permalink

Nanahuatzin,
Let's just say that Squirty Cream (or Redi-Whip in the States) doesn't have to be used on food to be enjoyed. It can be quite tasty right off of your favorite partner.

Qwerty, That is a properly slutty remark. ;o)

Good grief. Nanahuatzin - Reddi Whip (that's funny in it's self) or Squirty Cream is a desert topping. It's fun as hell to decorate a sexual partner, in salacious points of their anatomy - and then adorn them with fruit bits - or anything you can imagine - and lick the stuff off. Or bite.

It's cheap entertainment.

Patricia @ 48

Don´t worry.. i think i get it, it is just that the names "Reddi Whip" or "Squirty Cream" do not mean much to me. Reading computer manuals and science texts does not much to enlighten on the posible meaning of those words...

I have never seen something like that in our locals stores. Here ussually toppings for deserts come in powder for preparing. But... maybe my wife has seen it... It looks fun. I have tried honey and fruit.. but it may get a bit... sticky ;)

Screw the "cream;" it's the propellant that's fun.

Or so I'm told.

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink