Funny! I liked how the angels looked like Little People (the kids toy with no arms). With a god like that no wonder Lucifer rebelled. The only thing I have to disagree with is the stopping of the tectonic plates. To do that the planet's core would have to stop moving. If that happened we'd have no magnetic field to shield the planet from the solar winds leading to our atmosphere to be blown into space leaving the planet like Mars. Not a good thing.
"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth. Also the variety of life arises from non-random survival of random variation. Blessed are the peacemakers. Plus matter consists of complex configurations a small number of different elementary particles. Don't buy Betamax. Oh and I was lying about the meek; the downtrodden are going top have fight tooth and nail for any advance else they get nothing."
Jesus should have given us plans for an FTL star drive. So we could get the hell off of earth before the sun goes nova, a dinosaur class killer asteroid strikes (again), or the fundies take over.
The only thing I have to disagree with is the stopping of the tectonic plates. To do that the planet's core would have to stop moving. If that happened we'd have no magnetic field to shield the planet from the solar winds leading to our atmosphere to be blown into space leaving the planet like Mars. Not a good thing.
Of course, if the questions is "What should Jesus in form that possibly actually existed have done?", Then the answer is something like:
"Keep annoying the religious and civil authorities but loose the wild-eyed shit about the coming Kingdom of God; that's not happening. Probably best to make it absolutely clear that you aren't any sort of a god, and that you approve of people thinking for themselves. Finally, if you must get yourself crucified make sure it's for something worthwhile, rather than a pathetic public order offence."
"Probably best to make it absolutely clear that you aren't any sort of a god, and that you approve of people thinking for themselves."
I'm not sure the 4 accepted gospels contain anything about Jesus claiming to be the same person as god. (Though they do have him claim to be the son of god) Wasn't it the council of Nicaea that decided that Jesus was lying about not being god?
It doesn't matter what some schizophrenic cult leader said or did when 300 years later a bunch of religious leaders can just decide he meant something else for political reasons.
"It doesn't matter what some schizophrenic cult leader said or did when 300 years later a bunch of religious leaders can just decide he meant something else for political reasons."
This is always a fun thing to stick theists with. Just ask them where in the bible does it literally detail the trinity. This of course is a trick question, since the concept of the trinity didn't exist until 300 years later. But we all know how christians refuse to actually READ their holy book and won't catch on to this.
And when that eventually gets boring just cite Mathew 19:16-17 and watch them dance dance dance!
This is just more evidence of the brilliance of the Q character in STTNG as a parody of God. You could swap the Jesus in this video with Q and get similar responses.
Pretty funny stuff. I do have to wonder who would think it would be a good idea to turn all the deserts into arable land. Deserts are ecosystems of their own, and it wouldn't be right to eliminate them just to facilitate the population explosion of one species of chordate.
Thank you thank you thank you! I have been watching NonStamp Collector videos now for over an hour, and they are awesome. I'm an English lit teacher, so I can't even begin to think about using these in the classroom, but my 11 y.o. son is all hooked up.
Outstanding. Keep them and things like them coming--please.
bsk #14 "I'm starting to think this kind of ridicule is far more effective than a serious reasoned argument could ever be."
In the DVD extras of Mel Brooks' "Producers", Brooks is talking about how you can't argue with a fanatic because you'll never convince them. All you can do is mock them so others see how ridiculous their reasoning is. I'm starting to think he's right when it comes to religion.
My hands-down favourite so far is Cooking with Yahweh. That's gotta be the weirdest bit of the Bible by far. I just about pissed myself laughing at the vid.
SIWOTI.
Krishna was not born to a virgin mother. He was the 8th son of Vasudev and princess Devaki.
(Not that it makes a bit of difference to the content of the video but that just was too wrong to ignore)
Alverant, have you been watching The Core? Jesus could easily miraculously keep the magnetic field going while shutting down Earth's internal heat engine. Or he could just shunt the core's heat off into space. But I like teaching plate tectonics, so forgetaboutit!
My biggest scepticism that God sent his son /himself is that it was his one opportunity to have someone in the know clearly tell us what he really, really wanted to keep us from "burning in hell forever" - and he didn't.
Do you have to be baptised to be spared Hell? As an infant? As an adult? Over 2,000 years of torture and bloodshed, over 30,000 Christian cults just to figure out what God wants WHEN HE COULD HAVE TOLD US HIMSELF in clear, unallegorical language. Jesus didn't even have a SCRIBE among his Disciples to write down God's words as they poured from his lips.
Instead we are supposed to take the word of half-demented lunatics as to what God "really wants". Why does God have to communicate to all mankind through one individual (a prophet) anyway? If the only way to know God is by accepting the words of Paul or Jerry Falwell and the hundreds of other nuts who claim to peak for him, then no wonder many won't accept the "Truth".
The video is funny however they could have left out the bit with pagan deities that are "born of virgins", because.. well the names they list aren't virgin births,
Krishna has 7 elder siblings,
Horus's mom İsis has sex with Osiris. After Seth cuts Osiris into pieces, Isis puts him back together but the penis is missing so she "installs" one made of gold instead.
Dionysus : Zeus has sex with his mother (Semele the human or Persephone the goddess)
Attis : We have a god named Agdistis, and the other gods are jealous (or angry or sth) of him so they cut his penis off. An almond tree springs out from this cut off penis and Nana, Attis's mother, inserts the fruit of this tree into her womb and then Attis is born.
Otherwise, really funny video :)
If you like NSC and Ed Current, google "Mr. Deity".
In regards to myths that perpetuate without evolving (because of the awesome immune system they have - the human mind) and control the minds of millions, about Christianity I say "is that the best you can do?" It's not even interesting - at least the Greeks knew how to write compelling characters. I'm not aware of any religion that looks at itself and says "what can we change to maximize the benefit to humanity".
@Supheci Melek: (#43) yeah, it lost me there too. you can tell they watched that zeitgeist crap, and just parroted that. as i said in a previous post, "30 seconds on wikipedia" would have corrected those -- if they'd even bothered to fact-check the claims. you can sorta tell where they got the "virgin birth" claims from, even, but they're really quite an incredibly stretch.
the rest was a fairly convincing argument for the ridiculousness of the religion.
Jesus should have gone and fucked himself rather than coming down to earth simply to send anyone who refused to believe he was god to hell.
NonStampCollector has made some really funny videos, well worth the watch! :)
I love the 'eat their own children'. :) Nice.
LOL, @ "you guys don't know anything about how to display omnipotence do you?"
This is the funniest thing I've seen since Tina Fey's Sarah Palin, thanks!
http://www.thenewatheist.com
Funny! I liked how the angels looked like Little People (the kids toy with no arms). With a god like that no wonder Lucifer rebelled. The only thing I have to disagree with is the stopping of the tectonic plates. To do that the planet's core would have to stop moving. If that happened we'd have no magnetic field to shield the planet from the solar winds leading to our atmosphere to be blown into space leaving the planet like Mars. Not a good thing.
good stuff.
"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth. Also the variety of life arises from non-random survival of random variation. Blessed are the peacemakers. Plus matter consists of complex configurations a small number of different elementary particles. Don't buy Betamax. Oh and I was lying about the meek; the downtrodden are going top have fight tooth and nail for any advance else they get nothing."
Good Omens FTW!
Concise summary and excellent explanation of the two biggest pieces of shit ever written?
You bet!
Jesus should have given us plans for an FTL star drive. So we could get the hell off of earth before the sun goes nova, a dinosaur class killer asteroid strikes (again), or the fundies take over.
The only thing I have to disagree with is the stopping of the tectonic plates. To do that the planet's core would have to stop moving. If that happened we'd have no magnetic field to shield the planet from the solar winds leading to our atmosphere to be blown into space leaving the planet like Mars. Not a good thing.
You see! God really does know what he's doing:-)
That's not the real God, he doesn't have an American accent!
Of course, if the questions is "What should Jesus in form that possibly actually existed have done?", Then the answer is something like:
"Keep annoying the religious and civil authorities but loose the wild-eyed shit about the coming Kingdom of God; that's not happening. Probably best to make it absolutely clear that you aren't any sort of a god, and that you approve of people thinking for themselves. Finally, if you must get yourself crucified make sure it's for something worthwhile, rather than a pathetic public order offence."
NonStampCollector is one of my favorites!
I'm starting to think this kind of ridicule is far more effective than a serious reasoned argument could ever be. Bravo!
This should be mandatory viewing in every church. You know, teach the controversy.
Alas, I fear that most skulls there will prove to be too thick to be penetrated by reason.
"Probably best to make it absolutely clear that you aren't any sort of a god, and that you approve of people thinking for themselves."
I'm not sure the 4 accepted gospels contain anything about Jesus claiming to be the same person as god. (Though they do have him claim to be the son of god) Wasn't it the council of Nicaea that decided that Jesus was lying about not being god?
It doesn't matter what some schizophrenic cult leader said or did when 300 years later a bunch of religious leaders can just decide he meant something else for political reasons.
"It doesn't matter what some schizophrenic cult leader said or did when 300 years later a bunch of religious leaders can just decide he meant something else for political reasons."
This is always a fun thing to stick theists with. Just ask them where in the bible does it literally detail the trinity. This of course is a trick question, since the concept of the trinity didn't exist until 300 years later. But we all know how christians refuse to actually READ their holy book and won't catch on to this.
And when that eventually gets boring just cite Mathew 19:16-17 and watch them dance dance dance!
That was great. Makes you wonder why the religious nutters don't get the logic of the little angels. I guess logic isn't their strong suit.
"And the human I'm going to sacrifice to appease myself is... myself!"
Priceless.
Like Bill Maher's bit about god sending his son on a suicide mission.
scarybug: I get your point, but an unambiguous "Don't treat me as anything more than a man" would have been pretty hard to spin.
This is just more evidence of the brilliance of the Q character in STTNG as a parody of God. You could swap the Jesus in this video with Q and get similar responses.
This is just hilarious!
Loved it!
Ah, I love NonStampCollector. EdwardCurrent is pretty funny, too. =3
Pretty funny stuff. I do have to wonder who would think it would be a good idea to turn all the deserts into arable land. Deserts are ecosystems of their own, and it wouldn't be right to eliminate them just to facilitate the population explosion of one species of chordate.
But maybe I'm nitpicking.
@MattHealth Plus matter consists of complex configurations a small number of different elementary particles. Don't buy Betamax.
And in 1969...Bet on the Mets. Trust me, I like them.
@MattHeath
Sorry, I spelled your name wrong..
that was just the most f***ing awesome, devistating indictment of religious superstition i ever saw (except maybe the bible itself)
Why do staff meetings in Heaven remind me of staff meetings in Dilbert comic strips?
It is all very true but I am getting sick of non stamp collectors style.
Thank you thank you thank you! I have been watching NonStamp Collector videos now for over an hour, and they are awesome. I'm an English lit teacher, so I can't even begin to think about using these in the classroom, but my 11 y.o. son is all hooked up.
Outstanding. Keep them and things like them coming--please.
bsk #14 "I'm starting to think this kind of ridicule is far more effective than a serious reasoned argument could ever be."
In the DVD extras of Mel Brooks' "Producers", Brooks is talking about how you can't argue with a fanatic because you'll never convince them. All you can do is mock them so others see how ridiculous their reasoning is. I'm starting to think he's right when it comes to religion.
Just wonderful. I love a good inside perspective at the actual deciding table of this god, it's just so ridiculous.
My hands-down favourite so far is Cooking with Yahweh. That's gotta be the weirdest bit of the Bible by far. I just about pissed myself laughing at the vid.
That was fantastic!
SIWOTI.
Krishna was not born to a virgin mother. He was the 8th son of Vasudev and princess Devaki.
(Not that it makes a bit of difference to the content of the video but that just was too wrong to ignore)
Theological gold, priceless, I wish I had that video for my Sunday School classes.
Nice video, that, both funny and to the point. I wonder how long before it gets flagged as inappropriate or has a false DMCA claim filed against it.
Alverant, have you been watching The Core? Jesus could easily miraculously keep the magnetic field going while shutting down Earth's internal heat engine. Or he could just shunt the core's heat off into space. But I like teaching plate tectonics, so forgetaboutit!
My biggest scepticism that God sent his son /himself is that it was his one opportunity to have someone in the know clearly tell us what he really, really wanted to keep us from "burning in hell forever" - and he didn't.
Do you have to be baptised to be spared Hell? As an infant? As an adult? Over 2,000 years of torture and bloodshed, over 30,000 Christian cults just to figure out what God wants WHEN HE COULD HAVE TOLD US HIMSELF in clear, unallegorical language. Jesus didn't even have a SCRIBE among his Disciples to write down God's words as they poured from his lips.
Instead we are supposed to take the word of half-demented lunatics as to what God "really wants". Why does God have to communicate to all mankind through one individual (a prophet) anyway? If the only way to know God is by accepting the words of Paul or Jerry Falwell and the hundreds of other nuts who claim to peak for him, then no wonder many won't accept the "Truth".
Hysterical!
@bsk #14
That's what makes this video SO brilliant! All wicked satire contains reasoned arguments as this does.
Damn, that had the potential to be the most productive committee meeting in history.
The video is funny however they could have left out the bit with pagan deities that are "born of virgins", because.. well the names they list aren't virgin births,
Krishna has 7 elder siblings,
Horus's mom İsis has sex with Osiris. After Seth cuts Osiris into pieces, Isis puts him back together but the penis is missing so she "installs" one made of gold instead.
Dionysus : Zeus has sex with his mother (Semele the human or Persephone the goddess)
Attis : We have a god named Agdistis, and the other gods are jealous (or angry or sth) of him so they cut his penis off. An almond tree springs out from this cut off penis and Nana, Attis's mother, inserts the fruit of this tree into her womb and then Attis is born.
Otherwise, really funny video :)
If you like NSC and Ed Current, google "Mr. Deity".
In regards to myths that perpetuate without evolving (because of the awesome immune system they have - the human mind) and control the minds of millions, about Christianity I say "is that the best you can do?" It's not even interesting - at least the Greeks knew how to write compelling characters. I'm not aware of any religion that looks at itself and says "what can we change to maximize the benefit to humanity".
@Supheci Melek: (#43) yeah, it lost me there too. you can tell they watched that zeitgeist crap, and just parroted that. as i said in a previous post, "30 seconds on wikipedia" would have corrected those -- if they'd even bothered to fact-check the claims. you can sorta tell where they got the "virgin birth" claims from, even, but they're really quite an incredibly stretch.
the rest was a fairly convincing argument for the ridiculousness of the religion.
Great video.
Look at these nuts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZfqJR_rqNY&feature=channel_page