Obligatory generic lovey-dovey Valentine's Day post

Auto-starting videos on animal sex = not cool.

This on Valentine's Day? My appreciation for you, PZ, has just shot up dramatically! You have made my day.

That video makes me wish I didn't make the choice to be heterosexual. I guess it's too late now.

So, animals are capable of treating those of their species with homosexual tendencies, um, humanely, but we humans can't seem to get this right.

*sigh* Maybe someday we'll catch up.

Clearly, the missionaries' work is hardly started! All those disgusting, unnatural practices going on among literally hundreds of species - probably thousands or even millions. The baby Jesus must be bawling his eyes out!

Hmm, those cheetahs are hot.

Paul McCartney tells an appropriate joke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfsR_xKbnhY

It being Valentines Day and all, I thought I'd make my first post-- and offer a tiny gift to PZ and the rest. (man meets squid; man loses squid. . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDud1qTLiGA

Richard @ #1: If you're using Firefox, I suggest the NoScript addon. Useful for just this sort of thing.

Also, He *did* put it below a fold. Can't cry too much, it's *your* responsibility to make sure your immediate area is clear of small children, bosses, and heart-attack-prone grannies when you open up something potentially NSFW.

Oh, so that's why it's called a pride of lions.

We once got caught in the middle of a three-way between three very large cows. It's not uncommon for cows (the females) in heat to mount each other. Not sure why this is, but always assumed it was done as a way to signify dominance as well as a signal to any horny bulls who might be nearby.

Anyway, we were herding three dairy cows to the barn -- all of which were in heat -- when suddenly they broke out into an orgy of simulated sex.

Normally they're very gentle animals, but when they're in heat, they develop tunnel vision, of sorts, and will knock you over if you're between them and their target.

So there we were, in a muddy field, trying to maintain our balance, while trying to avoid getting hoofed or horned by three cows, each weighing somewhere between 600 and 800 pounds.

It was like the orgy scene out of Eyes Wide Shut, only with cows... and mud... in a field.

Gay giraffes. My innocence is shattered. I'll never be able to go to Toys Я Us™ again.

Richard - in addition to noscript, flashblock.

I've never understood Valentine's Day myself. Either you are in a good relationship and are assured of said partner's love in general anyway, or you aren't and the day serves as a painful reminder of either loneliness or being with someone you'd rather not be with.

Obligatory analysis of romance song.

Or like Justin's dad says:

"Nah, we don't celebrate it. Don't know who St. Valentine was, don't give a shit, and doubt he wants people screwing in his memory."

PZ - I am just shocked. I mean - surely you are not stooping to the "cute animal" video in order to appease mindless into thinking that this blog is about - cute animals. I mean next we will be seeing kittens with bad grammar posted here.

Sigh. I am disillusioned. And right after the awesome crytobiological discovery of the century - Sharktopus! It just brings the whole tone of the blog down.

PS - the giraffes were cute.

Re # 14 - Insert "the" in front of Mindless.

Uh PZ this isn't Valentine's Day.

恭喜發財
新年快樂

Oh, sure, more than a billion people are celebrating New Year, but tying the two together might be a challenge.

Happy New Year.

Carlie,

The Tim Minchin song is great, but I was a bit shocked to be confronted at the beginning by the Ads by Google advertisement (no doubt cleverly selected to target my IP address origin) for Kay Bailey Hutchison's gubernatorial run (paid for by Texans for Kay Bailey Hutchison)! lol

At one point in the advertisement, after some of her senatorial achievements are mentioned, she's described as "Arch-enemy to Obama's health plan," conjuring all sorts of imagery of capes and horned helmets and secret volcano lairs.

Anyway, thanks for the link. Also Happy Sino New Year all around for those so celebrating, and Happy Valentine's Day for those also so celebrating.

Still learning,

Robert

So there we were, in a muddy field

Legion, it's my experience from a dairy farm childhood that the "mud" in fields frequented by cows is often not exactly mud. Perhaps you were sparing our delicate sensibilities in recounting your story of crazed cow lesbianism?

Zeno:

Legion, it's my experience from a dairy farm childhood that the "mud" in fields frequented by cows is often not exactly mud.

Tragically, this is true. :-)

In related Minnesotan Valentines news...

Minnesota law would ban marriage between two people who don't love each other:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_law_would_ban_marriages?utm_s…

And I thought that bonobos where the only animals that engaged in homesexual behaviour.

Obligatory threat of facestabbing to anyone who rubs their relationship in my face.

(Bitter? Me? Nah.)

I'm with Richard, but I say auto-playing videos of anything = not cool.

There's also a little problem of details on that image of cupid with the arrow in the back. For an arrow with a broadhead to stand upright like that, it would have to be embedded a bit more - which it usually is because broadheads are pretty good at splitting bones (except perhaps for the thickest bones such as the tibia). I've never shot an animal and had the broadhead sticking out - although I suppose if I can hit a small bird ...

Great. As if VD couldn't get any worse.

Now I want a retractable penis.

For those upset about autoplay, firefox and flashblock. It's a winning combo.

As for Valentine's Day, we've been married over 30 years and never celebrated it. Always thought it was silly. Still think so.

Obligatory threat of facestabbing to anyone who rubs their relationship in my face.

Benjamin Geiger, I'm trying to figure out what that would look like (the rubbing part I mean). Do you mean public displays of affection (which you can avert your eyes to) or have you actually had people flaunting their relationships in your face to show their superiority to you (which would be very strange indeed)?

Nice Ogress #8, the autoplaying vid was actually above the fold for a couple of minutes (at least it was before my first comment following Richard's) until the problem was corrected. The &autoStart=0 flag doesn't seem to work for this video so there is not much that can be done about the autostart other than simply linking to it rather than embedding it.

Moggie @ 9 wins an internet. Thanks for the laugh.

aratina cage - many examples of rubbing everyone's face in it can be found at STFU Marrieds.

I think the degree to which it seems like rubbing-in depends a lot on how private a person is to begin with. I find most displays of affection off-putting, simply because I've never, even in the roiling midst of early-flush romance, felt like being all smootchy-cutesy all over someone out in front of people.

Happy Valentiger, everyone!

Ron Sullivan
http://toad.faultline.org

aratina cage:

A little of both. It's one thing to have *one* couple doing that, but these days, it's impossible to avert my eyes without shutting them altogether (and it's kinda hard to walk around like that).

And when you're as completely alone as I have been, behavior like this goes from 'annoying' to 'torture'.

Crap, I missed a paragraph in that. Insert between "that)." and "And when":

And yes, there are couples who explicitly flaunt their attached-status, as a way to show their superiority over all us single schlimazels out there.

(And a late addition: Big Bad World One. Download and enjoy. JoCo FTMFW.)

Sort of OT but this is wonderful!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNYZH9kuaYM

@Carlie #12
>Richard - in addition to noscript, flashblock.

Flashblock is pointless if you have noscript...

krc - I guess you're right; I had flashblock first, then added Noscript later. It does give you one more chance to decide whether or not to play the flash, though, and on things like store webpages it lets you allow the whole page but then selectively choose which flash bits to use.

Why are we so alone, lonely Pharyngula people? We like each other, right? Most of us do, anyway? Shouldn't we hang out?

I said it would be a cold day in Hell before I went back on chat to meet people and make friends, but I'm tempted to make an exception of Pharyngula. If the chat room still exists.

How a nerd break a heart.

Noscript does that too, at least if you have checked "Apply these restrictions to whitelisted sites too" and "Forbid Adobe Flash" on the "Embeddings" tab of the options.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Well, V-Day is almost over. I've got a pint of Phish Food and some games and movies where things go boom. And I haven't stabbed anybody today.

I wondered why a wolfman movie was coming out so recently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupercalia

I've got a pint of Phish Food and some games and movies where things go boom.

Phish Food is truly nectar of the gods.

For stories of animal sexuality gone.. alternative.. might I mention the tale of a childhood friend's dog that would hump people's legs, but was female?

I never really understood that. To my strictly functionalist view that never made sense. I couldn't manage to make "female that humps legs" to translate into "therefore better at making babies".

I suppose things are a little more complex than that.

Nomad:

My guess is that it's a dominance display, more than anything else.

Behavior in social animals (and dogs are most definitely social animals) doesn't have to be *directly* related to reproduction in order to improve reproductive fitness. Reducing infighting among pack members seems as though it'd improve survival rates, and keeping a strict pecking order is likely to reduce infighting to the minimum necessary.

Then again, IANABiologist, so take this with a grain of salt (preferably one the size of a Volkswagen).

PS. I'm down to a third of a pint of Phish Food, and have been playing with my Wii. My arm is sore.

(Super Mario Galaxy, you perverts.)

Everyone is fixated on love. So here is a song for a you single people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW2IZDjHDDU

Benjamin Geiger and Carlie, thanks for the explanations and perspectives.

Gyeong Hwa Pak:

This song more accurately matches how I tend to feel around V-day. I'm better-medicated now than I was in the past, but it's still something I wrestle with.

And a few more.

I caught myself watching this video more than once!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VSDVRuPydk

Could some of this be considered kiddie porn? Or child molestation?